Books like Lawyers as Peacemakers — picked by fans

I find this book answers questions many people ask: Why aren’t we always logical? What gets in the way of our making effective decisions?

I first read this book when I started my consulting practice and realized I needed to combine psychology with philosophy in teaching critical thinking in professional settings. People want to understand why we can be unreasonable in the first place. Kahneman’s book helped me improve my own thinking, making me aware of the ways my previous experiences quickly provide interpretations of new experiences.

I find the ability to “hit the pause button” regarding my response to a specific situation and to ask myself, “Is my immediate, intuitive response useful or misleading me?” is one of my most important insights from this book.

This book puts the concept of ethics in negotiations front and center. It is a must-read because ethics in negotiation are essential not only for getting to the contract – but how you will address the business decisions long after the parties come to a formal contract. For me, an ethical framework is a crucial foundation for any business and for contracting. In fact, they are so essential our research at the University of Tennessee advocates contracting parties create a Statement of Intent that formally embeds a commitment to six guiding principles that combined, help contracting parties make more ethical decisions. If you ever wondered what is fair in negotiations, pick up this book; or if you scratched your head when you thought something was not fair, pick up this book. Either way, the insights will help you develop better contracts. 

Taken in tandem with Lawyers as Peacemakers, Wright’s books chart a much-needed approach to legal’s involvement in contracting. She advocates for Integrative Law, which puts lawyers at the table with the other negotiators as a contract is developed. This is important because often lawyers come late to the party or with contractual guardrails and Ts and Cs that should have been addressed at the start of (and during) the negotiation. When lawyers are not integrated as changemakers to support the business, you will likely find yourself in a series of back and forth red-line hell that causes frustration and deteriorates trust with your business partner. I challenge you to take Wright’s sage advice to rethink how lawyers can be changemakers. 

Ian Macneil is regarded as the father of relational contracting. His early work in the 1960s on relational contracting turned conventional views about contracts upside down with his ideas about business cooperation and collaboration. This unique book brings together essays from some of the world’s leading authorities on relational contracting honoring the pioneering work of Macneil. The essays provide insight and inspiration about relational contracting, suggesting Macneil’s pioneering foundational work on relational contracting is even more relevant today than ever. In the book’s foreword, Stewart Macaulay, another giant of relational contract theory, says, “People should not attempt to write about contracts until they have studied Ian Macneil.” I agree! 

This is a unique book that, based on Greek tragedy, develops a deeper, philosophical understanding of the Ukraine-Russia conflict, with an eye toward conflict resolution.

In closely examining that conflict, with Russian language sources, and from a historical and rare socio-cultural-linguistic perspective, Petro’s book shows how an essentially local/regional dispute over the Donbas region in eastern Ukraine has helped to generate a horrific conflict. 

Given the fact that most books on the “second” Cold War examine the conflict from an international perspective, this book shows how a “local” dispute has blossomed into a “globalizing” conflict.

Douglas Fry is a paleoanthropologist who shows unambiguously that war is a modern human invention.  Before the advent of agriculture there was no war. There was often violence – bumping off a resource-draining grandmother – but no systematic fighting and killing. With agriculture came an exploding population, nowhere to flee and hide, and fixed assets that you just couldn’t pick up and leave. But as starting war is a function of culture, so ending war is a function of culture. The United Nations is not perfect, but it has been hugely important in reducing conflict.  

This book is not about America, and not directly about politics or political polarization. It's a well-known conflict resolution book. I included it because I think it might help some people see our divides through a different and more healthy lens. 

This book uses an engaging fictional premise to walk through some important points about resolving conflict. For example, it talks about how even when we're sure we're right in a conflict (as most people in conflicts tend to be), we may still be wrong in how we treat others. And it talks about how our animosity and contempt towards others can cause them to behave in the very ways that most upset us.

A practical guide to understanding yourself, understanding others, and how to improve workplace relationships through better communication.

If you’ve been in the workplace for any length of time, you know that collaboration is a must for career success and that there’s usually at least one challenging person that can destroy trust and tank your productivity. In this book, you’ll learn strategies for identifying the eight types of difficult co-workers and gain insights into their motivations.

She also provides actionable advice for how to step into these difficult conversations, so you can build better relationships. 

William Ury is widely appreciated for collaborating with Roger Fisher to offer effective conflict resolution guidance (see Getting to Yes). I have long taught their concepts and methods in my leadership courses. This book is a culmination of Ury’s incredible career of helping groups resolve an array of conflicts, including the most intractable (in Columbia, for example). 

Ury describes himself as a “possibilist” who believes the most daunting conflicts can be sustainably resolved via three “victories”–getting on the balcony to more fully understand the perspectives of the warring parties, building a bridge among the parties, and engaging more neutral stakeholders. 

This book lifts my spirits at a time when some powerful individuals and groups are operating from a win-lose, zero-sum mentality that too easily devolves into a lose-lose for all. I vote with Ury for a transformational, win-win mentality.

The theme of this book is growing up and relating in a way that honors your own integrity.

Menakem is a relationship therapist and a long-time married person who promotes the idea of clean pain vs. dirty pain. Clean pain is doing the hard work of speaking what is true for you in your relationship. Dirty pain is blaming or manipulating your partner.

With a rare and rigorous honesty, I learned from this book that conflict is actually necessary for healthy relationships.