Here are 65 books that Emotional Blackmail fans have personally recommended if you like
Emotional Blackmail.
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I've been fascinated by relationships and mental health since I was seven years old, when I read I'm OK, You're OK cover to cover. That fascination followed me into over twenty years living in consensually non-monogamous relationships—where jealousy nearly ended my first attempt at it. I know what it feels like to cry in the corner, hide under the covers, and wonder if you're the only one who can't figure this out. You're not. I built Loving Without Boundaries because I wanted every person navigating an open relationship to have the tools nobody ever taught any of us. I hope these books help you the way they've helped me.
This is the book that shapes how I show up in every relationship in my life—personal, professional, with friends, family, and the clients I coach.
I've built on these concepts even further in my own work, but the bones Rosenberg lays out are so solid that I credit them with genuinely saving friendships and relationships I care about.
And on the nights when a relationship still doesn't go the way I hoped, this is the book that lets me know I did everything I could. That's what actually helps me sleep at night. Truly.
5,000,000 COPIES SOLD WORLDWIDE • TRANSLATED IN MORE THAN 35 LANGUAGES
What is Violent Communication?
If “violent” means acting in ways that result in hurt or harm, then much of how we communicate—judging others, bullying, having racial bias, blaming, finger pointing, discriminating, speaking without listening, criticizing others or ourselves, name-calling, reacting when angry, using political rhetoric, being defensive or judging who’s “good/bad” or what’s “right/wrong” with people—could indeed be called “violent communication.”
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Nonviolent Communication is the integration of four things:
• Consciousness: a set of principles that support living a life of…
It is April 1st, 2038. Day 60 of China's blockade of the rebel island of Taiwan.
The US government has agreed to provide Taiwan with a weapons system so advanced that it can disrupt the balance of power in the region. But what pilot would be crazy enough to run…
I've been fascinated by relationships and mental health since I was seven years old, when I read I'm OK, You're OK cover to cover. That fascination followed me into over twenty years living in consensually non-monogamous relationships—where jealousy nearly ended my first attempt at it. I know what it feels like to cry in the corner, hide under the covers, and wonder if you're the only one who can't figure this out. You're not. I built Loving Without Boundaries because I wanted every person navigating an open relationship to have the tools nobody ever taught any of us. I hope these books help you the way they've helped me.
I’d been saying, almost tentatively, that “sex is fun and pleasure is good for you” for years before I ever read this book.
So imagine my shock seeing that exact sentiment written in black and white, right in the introduction, by a renowned author. It was a genuine game changer. I finally had permission, in print, for something I already believed deep down but was scared to say out loud.
What this book did wasn’t JUST describe who my husband and I already were; it gave us language for it. It was the first time I ever heard of the word “polyamory," and my life has been forever changed. It’s often called the “bible of polyamory” for good reason, and I still recommend it to almost every client who walks through my door.
I also got to tell author Janet Hardy live on stage that their book changed my life…
The classic guide to love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy has been fully updated to reflect today’s modern attitudes and the latest information on nontraditional relationships.
“One of the most useful relationship books you could ever read, no matter what your lifestyle choices. It’s chock-full of great information about communication, jealousy, asking for what you want, and maintaining a relationship with integrity.”—Annie Sprinkle, PhD, sexologist and author of Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex
For 20 years The Ethical Slut—widely known as the “Poly Bible”—has dispelled myths and showed curious readers how to maintain a successful polyamorous lifestyle…
I've been fascinated by relationships and mental health since I was seven years old, when I read I'm OK, You're OK cover to cover. That fascination followed me into over twenty years living in consensually non-monogamous relationships—where jealousy nearly ended my first attempt at it. I know what it feels like to cry in the corner, hide under the covers, and wonder if you're the only one who can't figure this out. You're not. I built Loving Without Boundaries because I wanted every person navigating an open relationship to have the tools nobody ever taught any of us. I hope these books help you the way they've helped me.
I've used this book to rise strong more times than I can count—after infertility, after losing both of my parents, after consciously uncoupling from a decade-long partner, after every gut-punch entrepreneurship has handed me along the way.
I am deeply in love with Brené Brown's entire body of work—I've seen her speak live in Washington, DC, twice—but this is the one that feels the most personal to me, like she wrote it about my own life. Honestly? I want to be Brené Brown when I grow up.
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.
Don't miss the five-part Max docuseries Brené Brown: Atlas of the Heart!
Social scientist Brené Brown has ignited a global conversation on courage, vulnerability, shame, and worthiness. Her pioneering work uncovered a profound truth: Vulnerability—the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome—is the only path to more love, belonging, creativity, and joy. But living a brave life is not always easy: We are, inevitably, going to stumble and fall.
I've been fascinated by relationships and mental health since I was seven years old, when I read I'm OK, You're OK cover to cover. That fascination followed me into over twenty years living in consensually non-monogamous relationships—where jealousy nearly ended my first attempt at it. I know what it feels like to cry in the corner, hide under the covers, and wonder if you're the only one who can't figure this out. You're not. I built Loving Without Boundaries because I wanted every person navigating an open relationship to have the tools nobody ever taught any of us. I hope these books help you the way they've helped me.
I'm a recovering Catholic, and if you know, you know—a whole lifetime of guilt, shame, and seeking approval baked in from an early age, layered on top of some real dysfunction in my family of origin.
This book is what taught me to stop chasing approval from people, including ones who were never emotionally available to give it, and start looking within instead. I fell in love with Byron Katie's raw, honest origin story, and I still use The Work—her four questions—in my own life and in my work with clients to this day.
In Loving What Is, bestselling author Byron Katie introduced thousands of people to her simple and profound method of finding happiness through questioning the mind. Now, I Need Your Love—Is That True? examines a universal, age-old source of anxiety: our relationships with others. In this groundbreaking book, Katie helps you question everything you have been taught to do to gain love and approval. In doing this, you discover how to find genuine love and connection.
The usual advice offered in self-help books and reinforced by our culture advocates a stressful, all-consuming quest for love and approval. We are advised to…
I spent my first decade in business assuming the game was chess: play well, win. It took an embarrassingly long time to notice most rooms run on rules nobody wrote down. Power, persuasion, what breaks teams, who you measure yourself against. Each book here named a rule I was losing to without knowing it existed. And the deepest unwritten rule of all was the ladder itself: do the junior work, get trained, move up. Nobody questioned it because it had always held. I build AI tools for a living, and I can see it coming apart. Which is probably why I wrote a book about what replaces it.
I read this in 2021, just after I launched my advisory, when I started noticing power dynamics in rooms I had never been in before and wanted to understand them.
I read Greene as describing the world, not recommending it. Most people never consciously learn any of this; they have copied behaviours that seem to work, a bit like a cargo cult.
Law ten, avoid the unhappy and the unlucky, still makes me deeply uncomfortable, and I think it only holds if you are a zealot. I recommend it not so anyone can run these plays, but so they can recognise the world around them when someone else does.
Amoral, cunning, ruthless, and instructive, this multi-million-copy New York Times bestseller is the definitive manual for anyone interested in gaining, observing, or defending against ultimate control – from the author of The Laws of Human Nature.
In the book that People magazine proclaimed “beguiling” and “fascinating,” Robert Greene and Joost Elffers have distilled three thousand years of the history of power into 48 essential laws by drawing from the philosophies of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, and Carl Von Clausewitz and also from the lives of figures ranging from Henry Kissinger to P.T. Barnum.
I chose this topic because I learned a lot of self-defense mechanisms in childhood that did not continue to serve me well as an adult. This behavior carried into my romantic relationships more than anywhere else, and for a long time, my "picker" was broken, meaning I kept picking unhealthy people to be in relationships. Reading books like the ones I’ve recommended on this list helped change that for me over time. My heart breaks for other women and men whose pickers are also broken. It doesn’t have to stay that way. Get yourself these books.
This is another great book that allows you to recognize toxic behavior. Per the book’s description: "A co-worker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it. Often those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them."
This book is helpful in teaching how to recognize and respond to manipulative people. It made me realize that not all toxic people act the way they do as a defense mechanism, but some are truly acting on the offensive, rather than defensive and are fully aware of their toxic behavior. This was a real eye-opener.
Dr. George Simon knows how people push your buttons. Your children--especially teens--are expert at it, as is your mate. A co-worker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it. Often those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them. In this eye-opening book, you'll also discover...
* 4 reasons why victims have a hard time leaving abusive relationships
* Power tactics manipulators use to push their own agendas and justify their behavior
An Heir of Realms tells the tale of two young heroines—a dragon rider and a portal jumper—who fight dragon-like parasites to save their realms from extinction.
Rhoswen is training as a Realm Rider to work with dragons and burn away the Narxon swarming into her realm. Rhoswen’s dream is to…
I’m an activist, artist, and author of the breakout thriller, Where The Boys Are and The Other Side of the Mirror. I specialize in thrillers that highlight diverse characters (LGBTQ+ and people of color.) I’m a graduate of Virginia Commonwealth University and the Hurston/Wright Writers Foundation. As a graphic designer/copywriter/marketer by day and author by night, I can usually be found creating and designing behind the bright neon glow of my laptop. When I’m not writing, I enjoy traveling to new destinations. I live and work out of my home in Las Vegas with “the hubs” and our two yorkies, and I'm currently writing my next novel, The Dark Side of the Mirror.
I’ve seen the moody tv series adaption – but the
book is a must-read for any domestic-thriller list!I really enjoyed this roller coaster ride that takes you through romance, twists, and sometimes creepy revelations. I also found the alternating of character voices and time compelling. Sometimes, it doesn’t work – but I think the author did a great job of this to build up to the surprise ending. Famed and mysterious architect Edward Monkford carefully chooses occupants for a home he rents out who must adhere to an extensive (and peculiar) list of rules in order to live there. The story follows two “lucky” occupants of the property, Emma.
THE GLOBAL BESTSELLER • Soon to be a BBC One and HBO Max limited four-part series, starring Gugu Mbatha-Raw (The Morning Show; Misbehaviour) and multiple Golden Globe, BAFTA, and Emmy-nominated actor David Oyelowo (Selma; Les Misérables)
“A pitch-perfect novel of psychological suspense” (Lee Child) that spins one woman’s seemingly good fortune, and another woman’s mysterious fate, through a kaleidoscope of duplicity, death, and deception
Please make a list of every possession you consider essential to your life.
The request seems odd, even intrusive—and for the two women who answer, the consequences are devastating.
Women’s empowerment is my passion and my purpose, which is why I founded Women Connect4Good, Inc., a 501(c)3 foundation to help support other organizations that work to advance women and girls. Our name says it, and our work proves it. Women make phenomenal leaders, and while I can do a lot through my foundation to promote women’s leadership, we can all do something in our day-to-day lives to help women lead. Every day we can do something to support another woman, or partner with another woman, like the women who’ve written the books I’ve reviewed here – friends, colleagues, and fierce advocates for equality on every level. We are all lifting as we rise.
Imagine your ideal leadership role where you – and the you who you’ve always known you were meant to be – can fully thrive. Well, imagine no more…Gloria Feldt’s No Excuses can show you the way. This book opened my eyes to how women think about power. We're used to being subjected to power over us and don't want any part of it. But when we change how we view power as the "power to," we can transform our careers and lives to one where we fully thrive beyond what we might have imagined. No Excuses turns power into nine very specific, female-oriented tactics to help women channel their inner strength and power to advance where ever they want—even the c-suite, where we need hundreds more phenomenal women leaders.
An invaluable guidebook, which contends that the most vexing problems facing women today isn't that doors of opportunity aren't open but that not enough women are walking through them
Feminist icon Gloria Feldt pulls no punches in this new book, which argues that the most confounding problem facing women today isn't that doors of opportunity aren't open, but that not enough women are walking through them. From the boardroom to the bedroom, public office to personal relationships, she asserts that nobody is keeping women from parity-except themselves. Feldt puts women's power into an historical context, showing the ways in which…
I’m an anthropologist, trained in political economy, who began doing fieldwork in southern Mexico in the early 1980s. While there, Salvadoran and Guatemalan refugees were flowing into the area from Chiapas. I visited El Salvador in 1986 and in 1991 made several trips to an FMLN-controlled area. After the war ended I made nine field trips to northern Morazán, the last in 2012. My interests in catechists and liberation theology developed early on as I sought to reconstruct the region’s pre-war history. I wrote one book on the El Mozote massacre and am currently working on a third book on the area.
Green investigates The Commander’s Dilemma in the Salvadoran Revolution through a combination of questionnaires with ex-combatants from the FMLN and government forces, interviews, documents, and secondary resources. She argues that all military commanders everywhere confront the dilemma of ensuring that troops are skilled in meting out violence but that they reign in their violent tendencies so as to respect the human rights of civilians and adversaries that have been wounded and captured. The rebel FMLN educated its troops far more than the government military and according to the United Nations and other organizations committed but a small percentage of the wartime human rights violations.
Why do some military and rebel groups commit many types of violence, creating an impression of senseless chaos, whereas others carefully control violence against civilians? A classic catch-22 faces the leaders of armed groups and provides the title for Amelia Hoover Green's book. Leaders need large groups of people willing to kill and maim-but to do so only under strict control. How can commanders control violence when fighters who are not under direct supervision experience extraordinary stress, fear, and anger? The Commander's Dilemma argues that discipline is not enough in wartime. Restraint occurs when fighters know why they are fighting…
A poisonous maiden, a Daoist sex cult, and a violent insurgency.
The polyandrous Yan family in China's rural Shaanxi Province takes in two carpenter brothers. When one brother is convicted of murder after killing their neighbor in a dispute, a constable threatens to expose the family's rumored polyandry and extorts…
In 1968, I saw an ad that changed my life. It was typical—insulting to women, demeaning. Yet, at that moment, it somehow crystallized so many of my experiences—the sexist slights, the terrible jobs, the sexual harassment, the catcalls, the objectification. I thought, “This is atrocious … and it is not trivial.” I started collecting ads and lecturing on the topic. I made my first film, “Killing Us Softly: Advertising’s Image of Women” in 1979 (and have remade it three times since). Eventually I wrote and made films about alcohol and tobacco advertising. In 2015, I was inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame.
I read this classic, published in 1957 when I was in high school. It was perhaps the first critique of advertising, and I found it fascinating.
Packard identified eight “compelling needs” that advertisers promise products will fulfill. Years later, I recognized how some of these needs were used to sell addictive products.
Although he didn’t address the objectification of women, he opened my eyes to the manipulative power of advertisers and the subconscious meaning of ads.
"One of the best books around for demystifying the deliberately mysterious arts of advertising."--Salon
"Fascinating, entertaining and thought-stimulating."--The New York Times Book Review
"A brisk, authoritative and frightening report on how manufacturers, fundraisers and politicians are attempting to turn the American mind into a kind of catatonic dough that will buy, give or vote at their command--The New Yorker
Originally published in 1957 and now back in print to celebrate its fiftieth anniversary, The Hidden Persuaders is Vance Packard’s pioneering and prescient work revealing how advertisers use psychological methods to tap into our unconscious desires in order to "persuade" us…
