84 Books Like The Ethical Slut

Mikki Kendall’s account of what Black women and girls are up against in America left me angry and devastated. Her description of how Black girls are sexualized at shockingly young ages and how portraying them this way enables sexual abuse absolutely gutted me.

For me, this book was a powerful reminder of why no woman is safe in a culture that says you have to be viewed as respectable in order to be worthy of protection from violence.

I read this for a women’s study class and LOVED it. The telling of a story back in the biblical times from a woman’s perspective… sign me up.

This one took me through an emotional journey, blending fact with fiction to the point where I didn’t know where one ended and the other began. My heart was put through the ringer. I cried. I laughed. I fell in love. I felt the bond between mother and daughter and the rage of the oppression the FMC went through. It made me take a look at these biblical stories in a whole new light. 

This book is a classic in the realm of masculinity.

Women sometimes say that they want their partner to ‘be a man’ or to be ‘more masculine.’ What do they mean by this, exactly? What makes a man hot? Why do some men make our panties drop while others leave us cold?

In this book, David Deida examines the mechanics of masculine sex-appeal and invites men to move beyond the stereotypes that are traditionally assigned to them. He challenges men to reclaim their balls, find their purpose, and gain mastery in life. By learning how to handle the “big lady” (life), you can more easily create deeper, fulfilling relationships with the “small lady” (your beloved partner).

I don’t think Garcia Marquez needs a review or introduction. Reading any of his books is a pleasure, with easy and delightful writing and striking sentences.

These sentences often describe things or people in a way that feels natural and perfectly captured. For instance, he describes the world as so new that many things lack names. His eloquent descriptions, like that of ice, create vivid images. The characters are relatable, and you feel a happy exhaustion after finishing the book, reminiscent of great works like Steinbeck’s East of Eden.

Those who find the stories too unbelievable should learn about Colombian history, as they provide real context. I simply love the book!

As a writer, each time I read anything by James Baldwin, it´s like I´m getting a master class in how to capture a feeling and translate that into an articulate thought. When a friend told me to read this book over 30 years ago, shortly after I came out, they said this was “the best, and perhaps the most tragic novel about bisexuality ever written.”

Years later, it still kicks me in the gut each time I read it. Baldwin´s detailed examination of David´s desire for Giovanni while simultaneously being engaged to his fiancé, Hella, remains achingly beautiful.

I love Esther Perel’s boldness and willingness to help me and people in my workshops feel compassionate toward ourselves as we see the sexual passion in our relationships diminish over time.

Understanding that a good, caring, peaceful relationship is nevertheless like captivity, and sexual desire and passion do not flourish in “captivity,” and permitting myself to be more sexually adventurous at least in my fantasies, has offered a dimension of liberation. I find this one of the most liberating and original books on relationships I have ever read.

I love this book because it finally explained communication differences I had noticed for years.

I work with women navigating conversations with both men and women, and this book helped me understand why the same message lands differently depending on who hears it. This book includes the tools needed to adapt speech depending on your audience.

I love how clear and logical this book is: it uses research and evidence around women and men communicating differently. It gave me language for things I’d observed but couldn’t describe, and it changed the way I communicate.

Professor Paglia’s books are a tad academic for most people’s taste, but I find it important to feature her here.

In this book, she stirs up important questions around gender and sex. It seems that we are steadily moving towards a growing acceptance of diversity to the point in which androgyny is even becoming a desirable trait.

Being genderfluid myself, I’ve sometimes asked myself these questions daily. In order to have more spiritual sex, it’s important that we accept and acknowledge our desires, and I’m all for supporting the full expression of feminine and masculine in both women and men.

On top of this, Paglia is a real provocateur, which I like and can relate to. Truly one of the bright minds of our time.

This one is pure fun. It’s hard to believe no one thought to make a female chemist the star of a cooking show before! The story is witty and original, artfully combining the hard truths of being a scientist and a TV personality in male-dominated fields, with femininity and motherhood.

Sexism is rampant (obviously, it’s the 1950s), and the challenges the protagonist faces often seem insurmountable. Garmus takes these difficult themes seriously, while delivering them with humor and a lightheartedness that makes for a refreshing read.

Part manifesto, part archive of a fascinating and alluring sub-culture, Geoff Mains's book explores the possibilities of extreme encounters through pain/pleasure, BDSM, and role play in the leather community.

It’s not sensationalist although it examines ideas around sensation. It celebrates performance whilst honoring intimacy. It’s a book that would offer a reader of every sexuality an insight into some of their own fantasies and how to access them safely, and meaningfully.

I read it like I would read an exhaustive and tempting menu – picking out items I might like to taste myself and learning a great deal in the process.