I chose this topic because I learned a lot of self-defense mechanisms in childhood that did not continue to serve me well as an adult. This behavior carried into my romantic relationships more than anywhere else, and for a long time, my "picker" was broken, meaning I kept picking unhealthy people to be in relationships. Reading books like the ones I’ve recommended on this list helped change that for me over time. My heart breaks for other women and men whose pickers are also broken. It doesn’t have to stay that way. Get yourself these books.
This book really should be recommended reading for every human. Having good boundaries isn’t just about not letting other people not walk all over you or staying in your own lane, it’s about recognizing when you are carrying another person’s backpack, and letting their actions steal your peace. If you think you don’t have boundaries issues, you definitely do. Most, if not all, of us do to some extent. I re-read this book a couple of times a year.
Join the millions who have learned how to take control of their lives by setting healthy boundaries with their spouses, children, friends, parents, coworkers, and even themselves, in order to live life to the fullest.
Do you feel like your life has spiraled out of control? Have you focused so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits? Do you find yourself taking responsibility for other people's feelings and problems? In Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you the ins and outs of setting the boundaries that will transform your daily life.
Although I am remarried to a very kind man whom I adore and treats me like a princess, I have not always chosen so wisely. This book was instrumental l in avoiding another abuser. It teaches both men and women practical skills for recognizing a person with toxic traits.
This savvy, straightforward book pairs real women's stories with research and the expertise of a domestic violence counselor to help women of all ages identify Dangerous Men -- before they become too involved.
Brown describes eight types of Dangerous Men, their specific traits and characteristics. In separate chapters, she explores victim’s stories that tell how they came in contact with this type of Dangerous Man and their outcome. Brown then shows readers how to develop a Defense Strategy -- how to spot, avoid, or rid themselves of this type of Dangerous Man.
Brown explains women's innate "red flag" systems --…
Many people from all walks of life, even after many accomplishments and experiences, are often plagued by dissatisfaction, pervasive longing, and deep questioning. These feelings may make them wonder if they are living the life they were meant to lead.
Living on Purpose is the guidebook these people have been…
This is another great book that allows you to recognize toxic behavior. Per the book’s description: "A co-worker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it. Often those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them."
This book is helpful in teaching how to recognize and respond to manipulative people. It made me realize that not all toxic people act the way they do as a defense mechanism, but some are truly acting on the offensive, rather than defensive and are fully aware of their toxic behavior. This was a real eye-opener.
Dr. George Simon knows how people push your buttons. Your children--especially teens--are expert at it, as is your mate. A co-worker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it. Often those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them. In this eye-opening book, you'll also discover...
* 4 reasons why victims have a hard time leaving abusive relationships
* Power tactics manipulators use to push their own agendas and justify their behavior
This book has been a mega-bestseller forever and for great reason. In this book, you learn to recognize what your partner, or other loved ones, need to feel loved. It has helped me be a better mother, a better wife, sister, friend, and so forth. It’s also helped me rule people out when I was dating because I’ve learned the hard way that a relationship is smoother sailing (for me at least) if our love languages at least somewhat align.
Through fun-filled presentations before a live audience, Gary Chapman helps you identify your personal love language. He also helps you understand the love language of your spouse.
Gifts from a Challenging Childhood
by
Jan Bergstrom,
Learn to understand and work with your childhood wounds. Do you feel like old wounds or trauma from your childhood keep showing up today? Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed with what to do about it and where to start? If so, this book will help you travel down a path…
This was a book that when I was trying to save my marriage, really taught me what it meant to choose love even when I wasn’t feeling it. You will be asked to do acts of kindness and selflessness each day as part of this challenge and even if it doesn’t change the other person an iota, I promise it will change the dare-taker. It’s a good tool and could mean all the difference for two non-abusive people that were at least at some point, in love with one another.
Unconditional love is eagerly promised at weddings, but rarely practiced in real life. As a result, romantic hopes are often replaced with disappointment in the home. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
The Love Dare, the New York Times No. 1 best seller that has sold five million copies and was major plot device in the popular movie Fireproof, is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take. It’s time to…
He’d give anything to forget the one thing she can’t remember. From the bestselling author of Crossing Oceanscomes a powerfully moving story that tests the limits of love’s forgiveness. Like many marriages, Eric and Kyra Yoshida’s has fallen apart slowly, one lost dream and misunderstanding at a time, until the ultimate betrayal finally pushes them beyond reconciliation. Just when it looks like forgive and forget is no longer an option, a car accident gives Eric the second chance of a lifetime. A concussion causes his wife to forget details of her life, including the chasm between them. No one knows when—or if—Kyra’s memory will return, but Eric seizes the opportunity to win back the woman he’s never stopped loving.
Gifts from a Challenging Childhood
by
Jan Bergstrom,
Learn to understand and work with your childhood wounds. Do you feel like old wounds or trauma from your childhood keep showing up today? Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed with what to do about it and where to start? If so, this book will help you travel down a path…
As a Veteran, I once dismissed Christianity, viewing it as outdated and irrelevant.
But as I witness the West sliding into chaos, I realize how wrong I was. It is no accident that Christianity is under assault while the West is being overwhelmed by a cultural virus that sows discord…
