Will I love Nonviolent Communication?

This is the book that shapes how I show up in every relationship in my life—personal, professional, with friends, family, and the clients I coach.

I've built on these concepts even further in my own work, but the bones Rosenberg lays out are so solid that I credit them with genuinely saving friendships and relationships I care about.

And on the nights when a relationship still doesn't go the way I hoped, this is the book that lets me know I did everything I could. That's what actually helps me sleep at night. Truly.

This book has been a blessing for my life and my relationships.

I learned how to express my needs without blame or demand, and how to listen so that others feel both heard and understood. What also amazed me was to realize how limited my vocabulary was. I was basically using generic words like nice or good or great or fine, without actually giving any color or content of my experience in that present moment. I also noticed the tendency to say “I feel” a certain thing when, in fact, I was thinking a certain thing. Not feeling at all.

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This book changed how I think about language, particularly during high-stakes conversations that involve ethics.

I didn’t just learn about nonviolent communication—I started noticing all the subtle ways judgment, blame, and assumptions creep into everyday communication. Rosenberg’s approach made me more curious and less reactive, which has been a gift in my professional and personal life.

When I apply the book’s principles, I feel like I’m speaking in a way that builds connection instead of walls. It’s not always easy or comfy, but it’s always worth it.

The teachings of NVC are essential for those wishing to deepen their compassionate hearts.

NVC has helped my partner and me navigate many difficult conversations while remaining connected, present, and caring. Instead of communication breakdown, NVC teaches a focus on identifying needs and expressing emotions before making a doable request. The skills of this practice are essential building blocks for kind and honest communication. 

Learning to communicate in a way that creates a win-win situation for everyone is a skill. Often we get what we want to the detriment of others or the other way round. Nobody wins and the ultimate consequence is nobody is happy. I really like how practical this book is and how it taught me to speak in a different way entirely! It’s all well and good to know the theory of how negative language can destroy relationships but knowing how to communicate differently is what really matters. I like books with exercises I can put into practice as well… show more.

We all pick up and develop a way of communicating that becomes second nature. We can’t really hear ourselves accurately, until (hopefully) someone complains. But when they complain, we can get a bit defensive, and/or clueless for what to do about it.

Even good, well-intentioned people can end up communicating with violence. That’s a strong word, yes, but it really just means that what we say (and how we say it) ends up hurting or harming another person, or a relationship. It’s not that you “can’t ever get it right” for them, or need to walk on eggshells. We’re… show more.

Marshall Rosenberg has developed a philosophy and set of tools for understanding and defusing strong emotions which, without empathy and deep listening, can spill over into verbal or physical violence. I recommend this book to clients who, after detoxing from the impact of an effective campaign of workplace bullying against them and learning robust bullyproofing skills, want to learn more about the dynamics which can drive overtly emotional behaviour in others. The book describes Rosenberg’s method for unearthing the hidden unmet need behind expressions of anger and showcases his conflict resolution work in multiple war zones around the world in… show more.