Here are 100 books that The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control fans have personally recommended if you like
The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control.
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I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
I first learned about Logan Ury listening to the podcast This is Dating. While I was waiting on the second season to drop, I learned about Dr. Ury’s book.
I’m not trying to be ageist, but it was refreshing to hear dating advice from a professional that isn’t older and hasn’t been married for decades. Ury’s dating years being more recent meant she gets the landscape modern daters are struggling to find love in. Her perspective was instantly more relevant to me.
There were also several knowledge gems that she dropped throughout her book that I’d already learned the hard way, which gave me more confidence in giving the new-to-me information she presented a shot.
'A definitive guide for a generation navigating the murky waters of modern love' Esther Perel
A funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why has everyone found love except me?" You're not the only one. Great relationships don't just appear in our lives - they're the culmination of a series of decisions, including who to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions,…
Magical realism meets the magic of Christmas in this mix of Jewish, New Testament, and Santa stories–all reenacted in an urban psychiatric hospital!
On locked ward 5C4, Josh, a patient with many similarities to Jesus, is hospitalized concurrently with Nick, a patient with many similarities to Santa. The two argue…
I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
I read this book in grad school while I was working on an essay for the Los Angeles Review of Books about choosing to be child-free.
Sometimes, you just need some real talk and a reminder that the deck really is stacked against you when it comes to dating.This book helped provide some much-needed perspective so that I could understand that there’s only so much control I have over my own singleness and that there are cultural factors at play.
If you’re single and searching, there’s no end to other people’s explanations, excuses, and criticism explaining why you haven’t found a partner:
“You’re too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you’ll be fine.” “You’re too desperate. If men think you need them, they’ll run scared.” “You’re too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates.” “You have low self-esteem. You can’t love someone else until you’ve learned to love yourself.” “You’re too needy. You can’t be happy in a relationship until you’ve learned to be happy on your own.”
I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
A lot of people know Rachel Cargle because of her activism and her community building. But her life story shows how sometimes you have to let go of what you’ve been taught to want so you’re free to go after what you really want.
Rachel wasn’t satisfied being a well-loved, stay-at-home wife in a small Ohio town. But it was hard for her to exit her marriage because we’ve all been taught to find a good man and hang on tight. Rachel did manage to leave and step onto a radically different life path. She’s open in the book about fluidity around her sexuality and exploring non-monogamy.
What would life be like if we had the courage to say, 'I want something different'?
'Elegant, thoughtful, vulnerable, and inspiring' Elizabeth Gilbert
From a highly lauded modern voice in feminism and racial justice comes a deeply personal and insightful testament to the power of reimagining - the act of creating in our mind's eye that which does not but can and should exist
We all experience breaking points, those moments when we realise that something must change. For activist, philanthropist, and CEO Rachel E. Cargle, reimagining - relationships, work, education, rest, faith and power - saw her through some…
Trapped in our world, the fae are dying from drugs, contaminants, and hopelessness. Kicked out of the dark fae court for tainting his body and magic, Riasg only wants one thing: to die a bit faster. It’s already the end of his world, after all.
I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
I contributed an essay to this collection and there’s quite a few writers I admire in this book, as well.
It’s refreshing to see other people’s perspective on what can feel like an albatross around your neck. Some of the essays are humorous, others are more poignant, but they all work together to show that a single life can look and feel a bazillion different ways—yours will be what you make it.
A feminist anthology inspired by legendary Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl, featuring twenty-four new essays on the triumphs and heartbreaks of modern singlehood from acclaimed and bestselling authors, including Kristen Arnett, Morgan Parker, Evette Dionne, and Melissa Febos.
Sixty years ago, Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl sent shockwaves through the United States, selling more than two million copies in three weeks. Helen's message was radical for its time: marriage wasn't essential for women to lead rich, fulfilling lives.
As a police psychologist and mystery writer—I call myself a shrink with ink—I love to read how other authors portray therapists in their novels.It’s challenging to bring tension, action, and conflict to a 50-minute session that primarily involves quiet conversation, perhaps salted with tears. I started out writing non-fiction. Then I got tired of reality and began writing mysteries inspired by real police officers and their families. Writing fiction was harder, but more fun. Sometimes it’s been therapeutic. I especially enjoy the opportunity to take potshots at cops who treated me poorly, incompetent psychologists, and two of my ex-husbands.
I love books with sardonic humor, especially those that poke fun at psychologists and other mental health professionals. I do it in my own novels.
Most clinicians are earnest, compassionate, and ethical. But like every other profession, we have some bad apples who give psychology a bad name and deserve all the jokes and cartoons and late-night comedy sketches we get.
Shapiro’s book is about a neurotic writer with a weight problem who searches for a new therapist after her long-time clinician leaves town. Applying speed dating to her protagonist’s search for a shrink was the perfect vehicle for taking jabs at my profession.
I laughed more than I cringed. It was, for me, an opportunity to look at myself and my colleagues from the client’s point of view.
“Proust had a cookie. Susan Shapiro has a cupcake—and a really hilarious book.”
—Patricia Marx, author of Him, Her, Him Again, the End of Him
In Susan Shapiro’s laugh-out-loud funny fictional debut Speed Shrinking, Manhattan self-help author Julia Goodman thinks she’s got her addictive personality under control. Then her beloved psychoanalyst moves away at the same time her husband takes off to L.A. and her best friend gets married and moves to Ohio.
Feeling lonely and left out, Julia fills in the void with food, becomes a cupcake addict, and blimps out. This is a huge problem—especially since she’s about…
As a mama bear, I must be courageous for my three little warriors. It took a while, however, before I could activate my courage. Why? Because I had to face years of fears related to cultural shame, family guilt, inner criticism caused by oppressive patriarchal rules, and ancestral traumas. I even wrote a warm and witty memoir to capture my journey. I love sharing my stories and teaching my Courage Kit® framework to adults and kids. Fun fact: At age 8, I was a book presenter on the PBS series Reading Rainbow!
I loved learning about psychotherapist Sue Patton Thoele’s personal journey and anecdotes of other women (including moms) who found the courage to become their most authentic selves. It blew my mind to know that so many women like myself were also facing daily internal battles with self-limiting fears influenced by patriarchal norms.
Thoele hit the nail on the head when it came to naming some of those sneaky fear-based mindsets and behaviors that were embedded in my own motherhood experience, e.g., devaluing beliefs and self-sabotaging patterns. By the end of the book, I felt motivated to implement a courageous way of living. I walked away with affirmations that were geared towards transforming my subconscious fears into self-love.
Do you often find yourself meeting the wants of others at the expense of your own needs? THE COURAGE TO BE YOURSELF provides necessary tools to help you transform your fears into the courage to express your own authentic identity. By sharing her own journey and the journey of other women, Sue Patton Thoele will help you to learn how to set boundaries, change self-defeating behaviour patterns, communicate effectively and, most importantly, become a loving and tolerant friend to yourself.
Everyday Medical Miracles
by
Joseph S. Sanfilippo (editor),
Frontiers of Women from the healthcare perspective. A compilation of 60 true short stories written by an extensive array of healthcare providers, physicians, and advanced practice providers.
All designed to give you, the reader, a glimpse into the day-to-day activities of all of us who provide your health care. Come…
I’m an intuitive channel and spiritual guide, deeply passionate about personal transformation. Over the years, I’ve worked with countless individuals to help them break through limiting beliefs, tap into their true potential, and live more empowered lives. My own journey of self-discovery has led me to explore topics like spirituality, psychology, self-concept, and energy work—areas that are all interconnected in creating lasting change. As a coach, content creator, and author of Show Up As Her, I’ve gained valuable insights that continue to shape my growth. These books have each had a profound impact on my journey, and I’m excited to share them with you.
This book helped me understand the deep connection between our past experiences and our present behavior. I love how Dr. Nicole LePera emphasizes the importance of regulating the nervous system so we can respond in accordance with our best selves rather than react in accordance with our inner child.
I enjoyed learning how our childhood experiences shape what we're drawn to unless we actively interrupt these patterns. The tools she provides for breaking free from these ingrained behaviors gave me the clarity and empowerment to heal in ways I hadn't considered before. I can honestly say the way I experience life now is much more grounded.
'My favourite Instagram account in the world.' Dr Rangan Chatterjee
'If LePera's Instagram feed is full of aha moments illuminating the inner workings of your psyche, the revelations in the book are more like a full firework display.' Red magazine
'This book is a must-read for anyone on a path of personal growth.' GABBY BERNSTEIN, author of number one New York Times bestsellers Super Attractor and The Universe Has Your Back
'The book I wish I had read in my twenties.' ELIZABETH DAY, author of How to Fail
I have always cringed to hear my book described as “self-help” because it sounds dry and instructive. I prefer to describe it as a series of therapy stories. Help comes from surprising sources and I love that we can find support in our own imaginative ways. A wonderful book will always be helpful emotionally, and great writers investigate our inner lives and motivations. It’s up to each of us to insist on living exciting lives and books remind us that it’s always possible to have a fresh experience. Self-help often means embracing the complexities. There is no magical solution for figuring out life but great books make living so much better.
Oh the joys of Saul Steinberg’s drawings! More psychologically attuned than most therapy books or self-help, Steinberg’s illustrations are brilliant illuminations of what goes on in the inner lives of human beings.
I want to play and celebrate and express and engage with nature when I look at this book, and seeing my internal angst depicted visually consoles me. As a psychotherapist, I cherish words but I also see the limitations of language. It’s liberating to see what can’t always be described.
As for the labyrinth theme, it’s universal and shockingly apt as a metaphor for what goes on in our emotional lives – we are so often seduced by labyrinths – we get drawn into situations and patterns that feel impossible to resolve and yet somehow too hard to leave.
Our inner conflicts are full of mazes we feel we can’t exit but also can’t sort out – should…
A seminal work by an artist whose drawings in The New Yorker, LIFE, Harper's Bazaar, and many other publications influenced an entire generation of American artists and writers.
Saul Steinberg’s The Labyrinth, first published in 1960 and long out of print, is more than a simple catalog or collection of drawings. These carefully arranged pages record a brilliant, constantly evolving imagination confronting modern life. Here is Steinberg, as he put it at the time, discovering and inventing a great variety of events: "Illusion, talks, music, women, cats, dogs, birds, the cube, the crocodile, the museum, Moscow and Samarkand (winter, 1956),…
I have always cringed to hear my book described as “self-help” because it sounds dry and instructive. I prefer to describe it as a series of therapy stories. Help comes from surprising sources and I love that we can find support in our own imaginative ways. A wonderful book will always be helpful emotionally, and great writers investigate our inner lives and motivations. It’s up to each of us to insist on living exciting lives and books remind us that it’s always possible to have a fresh experience. Self-help often means embracing the complexities. There is no magical solution for figuring out life but great books make living so much better.
DeSanctis is a witty and lyrical writer, and she observes the world with astonishing acuity and insight.
I read this at a moment of feeling unbearably stuck emotionally and I was transported to a worldly sense of fresh possibilities and rich adventures. Restlessness can be a superpower and finally I got validation for being a restless psychotherapist (a profession that prides itself on patience).
This book made me come alive and it bolstered me psychologically in a way that felt incidental and not forced the way self-help books might. It sparked my appreciation for oddities and eccentricities and I urge anyone looking for mischief to start reading this immediately.
"Intrepid and empathetic, gifted with the dispassionate gaze of a born observer...a harmonious collage of worldview and character, a wunderkammer of experiences in a life fully lived." -Melissa Febos, The New York Times
"DeSanctis encounters spies and love interests, but it's her
lushly polished writing that makes this book a joy to read." -The Washington
Post
Vogue's Best Books of 2022
The Washington Post's Best Travel Books of 2022
Restless to leave, eager to return: this memoir in essays captures the unrelenting pull between the past and the present, between traveling the world and staying home.
Karl's War is a coming-of-age-meets-thriller set in Germany on the eve of Hitler coming to power. Karl – a reluctant poster boy for the Nazis – meets Jewish Ben and his world is up-turned.
Ben and his family flee to France. Karl joins the German army but deserts and finds…
For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to make a difference—by helping others become wiser and/or happier. But how? Colleagues, clients, and friends tell me that I have a capacity for energy that is boundless. I resisted that statement. It sounded “fluffy”. How could I make a difference if I saw “energy” as being some flighty firefly? Then, when I went through 2 bouts of burnout, I realized that energy was the secret—the secret to resilience, the secret to growth and service. Reading, writing, and speaking fill me with the energy to grow, learn, laugh, and serve. I trust these books and my writing will bring the same to you.
Moving from burnout to breakthrough is about becoming clear on what really matters. Sam Horn, the most prolific and powerful wordsmith I have ever known, comes up with subtle and not-so-subtle ways of hitting you between the eyes and asking “what are you waiting for?”
Becoming clear on what really matters is not about goal setting. But rather, it’s about what makes you excited, more playful, purposeful, and passionate about your life. As with the other books, I have highlighted so much. Now, my task is not just to read but to do. Sam not only crafts a process but her method of questioning will stop you in your tracks. She has a wealth of pertinent quotes that jump out on almost every page: from Buddha to Hugh Jackman, from Anais Nin to Eleanor Roosevelt.
"Inspired me to ask myself why and to stop postponing the forgotten dreams." ―Geneen Roth, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Women Food and God and This Messy Magnificent Life
Full of inspirational insights and advice, lifehacks, and real-world examples, Someday is Not a Day in the Week is CEO Sam Horn’s motivational guide to help readers get what they want in life today rather than "someday."
Are you: • Working, working, working? • Busy taking care of everyone but yourself? • Wondering what to do with the rest of your life? • Planning to do what makes you…
