Here are 100 books that The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control fans have personally recommended if you like
The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control.
Book DNA is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.
I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
I first learned about Logan Ury listening to the podcast This is Dating. While I was waiting on the second season to drop, I learned about Dr. Ury’s book.
I’m not trying to be ageist, but it was refreshing to hear dating advice from a professional that isn’t older and hasn’t been married for decades. Ury’s dating years being more recent meant she gets the landscape modern daters are struggling to find love in. Her perspective was instantly more relevant to me.
There were also several knowledge gems that she dropped throughout her book that I’d already learned the hard way, which gave me more confidence in giving the new-to-me information she presented a shot.
'A definitive guide for a generation navigating the murky waters of modern love' Esther Perel
A funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why has everyone found love except me?" You're not the only one. Great relationships don't just appear in our lives - they're the culmination of a series of decisions, including who to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions,…
A moving story of love, betrayal, and the enduring power of hope in the face of darkness.
German pianist Hedda Schlagel's world collapsed when her fiancé, Fritz, vanished after being sent to an enemy alien camp in the United States during the Great War. Fifteen years later, in 1932, Hedda…
I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
I read this book in grad school while I was working on an essay for the Los Angeles Review of Books about choosing to be child-free.
Sometimes, you just need some real talk and a reminder that the deck really is stacked against you when it comes to dating.This book helped provide some much-needed perspective so that I could understand that there’s only so much control I have over my own singleness and that there are cultural factors at play.
If you’re single and searching, there’s no end to other people’s explanations, excuses, and criticism explaining why you haven’t found a partner:
“You’re too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you’ll be fine.” “You’re too desperate. If men think you need them, they’ll run scared.” “You’re too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates.” “You have low self-esteem. You can’t love someone else until you’ve learned to love yourself.” “You’re too needy. You can’t be happy in a relationship until you’ve learned to be happy on your own.”
I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
A lot of people know Rachel Cargle because of her activism and her community building. But her life story shows how sometimes you have to let go of what you’ve been taught to want so you’re free to go after what you really want.
Rachel wasn’t satisfied being a well-loved, stay-at-home wife in a small Ohio town. But it was hard for her to exit her marriage because we’ve all been taught to find a good man and hang on tight. Rachel did manage to leave and step onto a radically different life path. She’s open in the book about fluidity around her sexuality and exploring non-monogamy.
What would life be like if we had the courage to say, 'I want something different'?
'Elegant, thoughtful, vulnerable, and inspiring' Elizabeth Gilbert
From a highly lauded modern voice in feminism and racial justice comes a deeply personal and insightful testament to the power of reimagining - the act of creating in our mind's eye that which does not but can and should exist
We all experience breaking points, those moments when we realise that something must change. For activist, philanthropist, and CEO Rachel E. Cargle, reimagining - relationships, work, education, rest, faith and power - saw her through some…
Coyote weather is the feral, hungry season, drought-stricken, and ready to catch fire. It’s 1967, and the American culture is violently remaking itself while the country is forcibly sending its young men to fight in a deeply unpopular war.
Jerry has stubbornly made no plans for the future because he…
I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.
I contributed an essay to this collection and there’s quite a few writers I admire in this book, as well.
It’s refreshing to see other people’s perspective on what can feel like an albatross around your neck. Some of the essays are humorous, others are more poignant, but they all work together to show that a single life can look and feel a bazillion different ways—yours will be what you make it.
A feminist anthology inspired by legendary Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl, featuring twenty-four new essays on the triumphs and heartbreaks of modern singlehood from acclaimed and bestselling authors, including Kristen Arnett, Morgan Parker, Evette Dionne, and Melissa Febos.
Sixty years ago, Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl sent shockwaves through the United States, selling more than two million copies in three weeks. Helen's message was radical for its time: marriage wasn't essential for women to lead rich, fulfilling lives.
As a police psychologist and mystery writer—I call myself a shrink with ink—I love to read how other authors portray therapists in their novels.It’s challenging to bring tension, action, and conflict to a 50-minute session that primarily involves quiet conversation, perhaps salted with tears. I started out writing non-fiction. Then I got tired of reality and began writing mysteries inspired by real police officers and their families. Writing fiction was harder, but more fun. Sometimes it’s been therapeutic. I especially enjoy the opportunity to take potshots at cops who treated me poorly, incompetent psychologists, and two of my ex-husbands.
I love books with sardonic humor, especially those that poke fun at psychologists and other mental health professionals. I do it in my own novels.
Most clinicians are earnest, compassionate, and ethical. But like every other profession, we have some bad apples who give psychology a bad name and deserve all the jokes and cartoons and late-night comedy sketches we get.
Shapiro’s book is about a neurotic writer with a weight problem who searches for a new therapist after her long-time clinician leaves town. Applying speed dating to her protagonist’s search for a shrink was the perfect vehicle for taking jabs at my profession.
I laughed more than I cringed. It was, for me, an opportunity to look at myself and my colleagues from the client’s point of view.
“Proust had a cookie. Susan Shapiro has a cupcake—and a really hilarious book.”
—Patricia Marx, author of Him, Her, Him Again, the End of Him
In Susan Shapiro’s laugh-out-loud funny fictional debut Speed Shrinking, Manhattan self-help author Julia Goodman thinks she’s got her addictive personality under control. Then her beloved psychoanalyst moves away at the same time her husband takes off to L.A. and her best friend gets married and moves to Ohio.
Feeling lonely and left out, Julia fills in the void with food, becomes a cupcake addict, and blimps out. This is a huge problem—especially since she’s…
As a mama bear, I must be courageous for my three little warriors. It took a while, however, before I could activate my courage. Why? Because I had to face years of fears related to cultural shame, family guilt, inner criticism caused by oppressive patriarchal rules, and ancestral traumas. I even wrote a warm and witty memoir to capture my journey. I love sharing my stories and teaching my Courage Kit® framework to adults and kids. Fun fact: At age 8, I was a book presenter on the PBS series Reading Rainbow!
I loved learning about psychotherapist Sue Patton Thoele’s personal journey and anecdotes of other women (including moms) who found the courage to become their most authentic selves. It blew my mind to know that so many women like myself were also facing daily internal battles with self-limiting fears influenced by patriarchal norms.
Thoele hit the nail on the head when it came to naming some of those sneaky fear-based mindsets and behaviors that were embedded in my own motherhood experience, e.g., devaluing beliefs and self-sabotaging patterns. By the end of the book, I felt motivated to implement a courageous way of living. I walked away with affirmations that were geared towards transforming my subconscious fears into self-love.
Do you often find yourself meeting the wants of others at the expense of your own needs? THE COURAGE TO BE YOURSELF provides necessary tools to help you transform your fears into the courage to express your own authentic identity. By sharing her own journey and the journey of other women, Sue Patton Thoele will help you to learn how to set boundaries, change self-defeating behaviour patterns, communicate effectively and, most importantly, become a loving and tolerant friend to yourself.
Homeless following the death of his adoptive parents in a car crash and the subsequent loss of their farm tenancy, Seb decides to enrol as a residential student at the Asklepios Foundation, a College of Natural Medicine, boasting a sanctuary modelled on an ancient Greek healing temple. Spending a night…
I’m an intuitive channel and spiritual guide, deeply passionate about personal transformation. Over the years, I’ve worked with countless individuals to help them break through limiting beliefs, tap into their true potential, and live more empowered lives. My own journey of self-discovery has led me to explore topics like spirituality, psychology, self-concept, and energy work—areas that are all interconnected in creating lasting change. As a coach, content creator, and author of Show Up As Her, I’ve gained valuable insights that continue to shape my growth. These books have each had a profound impact on my journey, and I’m excited to share them with you.
This book helped me understand the deep connection between our past experiences and our present behavior. I love how Dr. Nicole LePera emphasizes the importance of regulating the nervous system so we can respond in accordance with our best selves rather than react in accordance with our inner child.
I enjoyed learning how our childhood experiences shape what we're drawn to unless we actively interrupt these patterns. The tools she provides for breaking free from these ingrained behaviors gave me the clarity and empowerment to heal in ways I hadn't considered before. I can honestly say the way I experience life now is much more grounded.
'My favourite Instagram account in the world.' Dr Rangan Chatterjee
'If LePera's Instagram feed is full of aha moments illuminating the inner workings of your psyche, the revelations in the book are more like a full firework display.' Red magazine
'This book is a must-read for anyone on a path of personal growth.' GABBY BERNSTEIN, author of number one New York Times bestsellers Super Attractor and The Universe Has Your Back
'The book I wish I had read in my twenties.' ELIZABETH DAY, author of How to Fail
As a clinical psychologist, I listen to thoughts all the time. I’m also having my own, constantly. We rely on our thoughts to help us navigate the world. However, our thoughts can also be a source of suffering. At times, they're not such reliable guides or helpers. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a way of thinking about thinking. ACT captured my imagination early in my clinical career. I trained with ACT’s originator, Steven Hayes, in the early 1990’s. I’ve come to believe that being more aware of our own thoughts, and our relationship to them is key to creating positive change and living a life grounded in our values.
Dr. Hayes is the originator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, an innovative approach to addressing human suffering based on examining and changing our relationship to our thoughts.
This book looks at the many ways that our capacity for evaluative and judgmental thought leads to suffering. Then, it offers a map for changing how we relate to and respond to those thoughts.
It offers tools for shifting away from struggling with our internal narratives toward taking action based on our values.
"In all my years studying personal growth, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is one of the most useful tools I've ever come across, and in this book, Dr. Hayes describes it with more depth and clarity than ever before."-Mark Manson, #1 New York Times best-selling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Life is not a problem to be solved. ACT shows how we can live full and meaningful lives by embracing our vulnerability and turning toward what hurts.
In this landmark book, the originator and pioneering researcher into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) lays out the psychological…
The books on this list arrived at different moments in my life, but each one helped me see myself, my body, and my relationship with food in a new way. Some taught me about habits. Others helped me understand compassion, emotional healing, boundaries, and personal growth. Together, they brought light to my journey from chronic dieting and self-criticism to greater trust, freedom, and body–mind harmony.
I actually read this book after writing my book, and I was struck by how many parallels there were between Geneen Roth's work and my own journey.
What I love most is that she keeps digging deeper. Deeper than the next diet. Deeper than the next weight-loss goal. Deeper than binge eating or food itself.
She invites the reader to look at the deeper void we are often trying to fill through changing our bodies, achieving a certain weight, or searching for the next solution. I found that perspective both thought-provoking and illuminating.
Embraced by Oprah, the #1 New York Times bestselling guide that explains the connection between eating and emotion from Geneen Roth—noted authority on mindful eating.
No matter how sophisticated or wealthy or broke or enlightened you are, how you eat tells all.
After three decades of studying, teaching, and writing about our compulsions with food, bestselling author Geneen Roth adds a powerful new dimension to her work in Women Food and God. She begins with her most basic concept: the way you eat is inseparable from your core beliefs about being alive. Your relationship with food is an exact…
Marriage and Fatherhood in the Nazi SS
by
Amy Carney,
When I was writing this book, several of my friends jokingly called it the Nazi baby book, with one insisting it would make a great title. Nazi Babies – admittedly, that is a catchy title, but that’s not exactly what my book is about. SS babies would be slightly more…
The books on this list arrived at different moments in my life, but each one helped me see myself, my body, and my relationship with food in a new way. Some taught me about habits. Others helped me understand compassion, emotional healing, boundaries, and personal growth. Together, they brought light to my journey from chronic dieting and self-criticism to greater trust, freedom, and body–mind harmony.
What I loved about this book is the freedom in its message.
People may change, and people may never change. Either way, they do not have to change for me to find peace. I am not responsible for someone else's emotional well-being, nor do I need to shape myself to fit into their expectations, wounds, or emotional voids.
The title itself says it all: let them. There is a great deal of freedom in that.
#1 New York Times Bestseller #1 Sunday Times Bestseller #1 Amazon Bestseller #1 Audible Bestseller
A Life-Changing Tool Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About
What if the key to happiness, success, and love was as simple as two words?
If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or frustrated with where you are, the problem isn't you. The problem is the power you give to other people. Two simple words-Let Them-will set you free. Free from the opinions, drama, and judgments of others. Free from the exhausting cycle of trying to manage everything and everyone around you. The Let Them Theory…
