Here are 100 books that How to Not Die Alone fans have personally recommended if you like How to Not Die Alone. Shepherd is a community of 12,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.

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Book cover of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power

Minda Honey Author Of The Heartbreak Years: A Memoir

From my list on reads to get over your ex.

Why am I passionate about this?

I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.

Minda's book list on reads to get over your ex

Minda Honey Why Minda loves this book

This might seem like an odd choice if you’re searching for a book to cure your heartbreak—but hear me out.

I think sometimes we stay in relationships that aren’t a great fit for us entirely too long because we’re striving to have a picture-perfect life. Dr. Schafler doesn’t directly take on relationships, but she does teach you how to use your perfectionist tendencies for good, in ways that serve your life and your ambitions, instead of running your life or having you out here making terrible choices (like drunk dialing ol’dude…).

By Katherine Morgan Schafler ,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'Her book is life-changing.' GOOP

'The definitive guide for anyone who's ready to walk a crucial pathway: from the appearance of control, to the possession of a quiet power.' SUSAN CAIN

'This book will forever change the way you view perfectionism and yourself. An irresistible invitation to reclaim your natural state of wholeness, your joy and your life.' DEEPAK CHOPRA

'Gives you permission to be more in a world that's telling you to be less.' LORI GOTTLEIB

'Provocative... identifies the strategies and mindsets every high-achieving woman needs to quell her inner critic and embrace her true talents.' HOLLY WHITAKER

The…


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Book cover of The High House

The High House by James Stoddard,

The Victorian mansion, Evenmere, is the mechanism that runs the universe.

The lamps must be lit, or the stars die. The clocks must be wound, or Time ceases. The Balance between Order and Chaos must be preserved, or Existence crumbles.

Appointed the Steward of Evenmere, Carter Anderson must learn the…

Book cover of It's Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single

Minda Honey Author Of The Heartbreak Years: A Memoir

From my list on reads to get over your ex.

Why am I passionate about this?

I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.

Minda's book list on reads to get over your ex

Minda Honey Why Minda loves this book

I read this book in grad school while I was working on an essay for the Los Angeles Review of Books about choosing to be child-free.

Sometimes, you just need some real talk and a reminder that the deck really is stacked against you when it comes to dating. This book helped provide some much-needed perspective so that I could understand that there’s only so much control I have over my own singleness and that there are cultural factors at play. 

By Sara Eckel ,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked It's Not You as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

“Why am I still single?”

If you’re single and searching, there’s no end to other people’s explanations, excuses, and criticism explaining why you haven’t found a partner:

“You’re too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you’ll be fine.”
“You’re too desperate. If men think you need them, they’ll run scared.”
“You’re too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates.”
“You have low self-esteem. You can’t love someone else until you’ve learned to love yourself.”
“You’re too needy. You can’t be happy in a relationship until you’ve learned to be happy on your own.”

Based on…


Book cover of A Renaissance of Our Own: A Memoir & Manifesto on Reimagining

Minda Honey Author Of The Heartbreak Years: A Memoir

From my list on reads to get over your ex.

Why am I passionate about this?

I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.

Minda's book list on reads to get over your ex

Minda Honey Why Minda loves this book

A lot of people know Rachel Cargle because of her activism and her community building. But her life story shows how sometimes you have to let go of what you’ve been taught to want so you’re free to go after what you really want.

Rachel wasn’t satisfied being a well-loved, stay-at-home wife in a small Ohio town. But it was hard for her to exit her marriage because we’ve all been taught to find a good man and hang on tight. Rachel did manage to leave and step onto a radically different life path. She’s open in the book about fluidity around her sexuality and exploring non-monogamy.

By Rachel E. Cargle ,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked A Renaissance of Our Own as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

What would life be like if we had the courage to say, 'I want something different'?

'Elegant, thoughtful, vulnerable, and inspiring' Elizabeth Gilbert

From a highly lauded modern voice in feminism and racial justice comes a deeply personal and insightful testament to the power of reimagining - the act of creating in our mind's eye that which does not but can and should exist

We all experience breaking points, those moments when we realise that something must change. For activist, philanthropist, and CEO Rachel E. Cargle, reimagining - relationships, work, education, rest, faith and power - saw her through some…


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Book cover of December on 5C4

December on 5C4 by Adam Strassberg,

Magical realism meets the magic of Christmas in this mix of Jewish, New Testament, and Santa stories–all reenacted in an urban psychiatric hospital!

On locked ward 5C4, Josh, a patient with many similarities to Jesus, is hospitalized concurrently with Nick, a patient with many similarities to Santa. The two argue…

Book cover of Sex and the Single Woman: 24 Writers Reimagine Helen Gurley Brown's Cult Classic

Minda Honey Author Of The Heartbreak Years: A Memoir

From my list on reads to get over your ex.

Why am I passionate about this?

I was the type of kid who tossed a coin in a fountain and wished that every day could be Valentine’s Day. So, it’s no surprise that my younger years were dominated by dating, love, and heartbreak. I learned enough about the matter to even have my own dating advice column for a few years. Mostly what I’ve learned is how important it is to have compassion for yourself and to know you’re not the only one having a hard time finding your forever love. I hope these book picks bring you some comfort.

Minda's book list on reads to get over your ex

Minda Honey Why Minda loves this book

I contributed an essay to this collection and there’s quite a few writers I admire in this book, as well.

It’s refreshing to see other people’s perspective on what can feel like an albatross around your neck. Some of the essays are humorous, others are more poignant, but they all work together to show that a single life can look and feel a bazillion different ways—yours will be what you make it.

By Eliza Smith (editor) , Haley Swanson (editor) ,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Sex and the Single Woman as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

One of Bustle's Best Books of May

A feminist anthology inspired by legendary Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl, featuring twenty-four new essays on the triumphs and heartbreaks of modern singlehood from acclaimed and bestselling authors, including Kristen Arnett, Morgan Parker, Evette Dionne, and Melissa Febos.

Sixty years ago, Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl sent shockwaves through the United States, selling more than two million copies in three weeks. Helen's message was radical for its time: marriage wasn't essential for women to lead rich, fulfilling lives.

Now, in these critical, wry, and expansive…


Book cover of Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—And Keep—Love

Jacqueline Kademian Author Of Soul Therapy: A 365 day journal for self exploration, healing and reflection

From my list on start on a path of self-discovery and build a new you.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am Jacqueline Kademian, a licensed marriage & family therapist and author. With over 10 years of experience providing therapy, I am passionate about helping others. I am also passionate about making therapeutic concepts accessible and ready to utilize at home. I have taken my own teachings and created self-discovery journals for others to enjoy. Journaling is such an amazing skill and way to get to know yourself.

Jacqueline's book list on start on a path of self-discovery and build a new you

Jacqueline Kademian Why Jacqueline loves this book

This is an excellent book about relationships and attachment theory, which describes our attachment styles in relationships. I loved reading this book because it taught me about my own attachment style and how I am in relationships.

This is a must-read for anyone who wants to learn about themselves in relationships. I enjoyed the concepts in the book and how relatable it was. I recommend this to every human being who would like a relationship. It is a great way to learn about yourself.

By Amir Levine , Rachel Heller ,

Why should I read it?

7 authors picked Attached as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.”
—The New York Times

We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.

Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John…


Book cover of Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship

Susan Kuchinskas Author Of The Chemistry of Connection: How the Oxytocin Response Can Help You Find Trust, Intimacy, and Love

From my list on love mysteries with a healthy dose of science.

Why am I passionate about this?

All my life, I struggled to connect with people, but love and friendship evaded me. I constantly hurt others. Relationships were like a language I couldn’t understand. When people loved me, I knew that they were mistaken, because I was unlovable. Then, a neuroscientist told me something that changed my life: The way we connect with others—the oxytocin response—is wired into our brains in the first few years of life, before we can form conscious memories. That set me on the path of studying the neuroscience of love and connection. And I learned something amazing: I could change that wiring and learn to love.  

Susan's book list on love mysteries with a healthy dose of science

Susan Kuchinskas Why Susan loves this book

When I began researching love, one concept that blew me away was attachment styles: the theory that how our parents show us love—or don’t—determines how we love others. I learned that my style was to avoid intimacy; it was too scary. Understanding my style and my partner’s lets me begin to respond to him in ways that he needs instead of the way that feels natural to me.

This book explains how each of us is wired for relationships and how we can get past our unconscious needs to give partners love the way they need it. It includes little scenarios that helped me understand how our styles play out and made the book fun to read. It offers principles that codify the couple's relationship and exercises for couples to do together. 

By Stan Tatkin ,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Wired for Love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

With more than 170,000 copies sold, Wired for Love is the complete "insider's guide" to understanding your partner's brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing new research drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition presents the ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help readers create safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third-any outside source which threatens the harmony…


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Book cover of Trusting Her Duke

Trusting Her Duke by Arietta Richmond,

A Duke with rigid opinions, a Lady whose beliefs conflict with his, a long disputed parcel of land, a conniving neighbour, a desperate collaboration, a failure of trust, a love found despite it all.

Alexander Cavendish, Duke of Ravensworth, returned from war to find that his father and brother had…

Book cover of The Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love, and Eroticism in Modern Societies

Jesse Wolfe Author Of Love, Friendship, and Narrative Form After Bloomsbury: The Progress of Intimacy in History

From my list on love and historical progress.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m an English professor, a poet, a lover of reading, and a happy husband and father. How did all this happen; what historical processes made my good fortunes possible? I get answers to these questions from great fiction and great nonfiction. It’s hard to find two more sensitive and beautifully written novels about marriage’s personal and social dimensions than Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway and E. M. Forster’s Howards End. Their psychological insights are complemented by two marriage historians and one sociologist with broad knowledge about love’s evolution over the centuries. I’ve read these books multiple times and shared them with many students (and friends)! They never get old.

Jesse's book list on love and historical progress

Jesse Wolfe Why Jesse loves this book

This book from the early 1990s continues to speak volumes about society today. In completely accessible writing, it helped me to see how major historical developments (the spread of democracy and belief in human equality) occur in tandem with people’s daily lives (marriages that pursue the ideal of “democracy in intimacy”).

Couples who pursue “pure relationships” founded on sexual and emotional equality are doing something revolutionary—in a revolution that has been gathering momentum for over two centuries. Each of Anthony Giddens’s chapters illuminates different aspects of this large story, and each gave me insights into what it means to be a man or a woman seeking love and happiness in a changing world.

By Anthony Giddens ,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Transformation of Intimacy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

The sexual revolution: an evocative term, but what meaning can be given to it today? How does "sexuality" come into being, and what connections does it have with the changes that have affected personal life more generally? In answering these questions, the author disputes many of the dominant interpretations of the role of sexuality in modern culture.

The author suggests that the revolutionary changes in which sexuality has become cauth up are more long-term than generally conceded. He sees them as intrinsic to the development of modern societies as a whole and to the broad characteristics of that development. Sexuality…


Book cover of The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

Ellen Kirschman Author Of I Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know

From my list on reads if you are married to a cop or love one.

Why am I passionate about this?

Back in 1977 the experiences and concerns of police families were invisible. Police officers were regarded as super-humans, unaffected by their day-to-day exposure to tragedy, cruelty, and stress. In my counseling job, I heard very different stories from their spouses. Ever since, it has been my mission to support police families and find ways to keep the job from damaging family life. It has taken more than two decades, but I am pleased and proud to say police families are no longer invisible. The books I picked are proof that the family behind the badge matters as much as the person wearing it.

Ellen's book list on reads if you are married to a cop or love one

Ellen Kirschman Why Ellen loves this book

It is not easy to write a self-help book without sounding pompous or unrealistic. This is why The Dance of Intimacy became a model for my own self-help books.

Lerner’s writing is straightforward, personal, and practical. She is, as am I, an unabashed feminist who understands that strengthening and/or healing relationships require the participation of both partners. First published in 2009 I have recommended this wise book to hundreds of clients. 

By Harriet Lerner ,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Dance of Intimacy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.


Book cover of Experiencing Friendship with God

Aubrey Sampson Author Of What We Find in the Dark

From my list on finding hope in loss and grief.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have, unfortunately, been invited into a club I never signed up for–the Griever’s Club. It’s not that my losses are exceptional, but I have been desperate to find meaning and hope in them in order to survive them. I lost my best friend of over 25 years to cancer and lost my dad on the same day–two years later–from an unexpected heart attack. I have known grief in other ways, too: unexpected job loss, disease, my children’s health struggles. As a pastor and a follower of Christ, it has been important to me to wrestle honestly for my own faith, and on behalf of other hurting readers.

Aubrey's book list on finding hope in loss and grief

Aubrey Sampson Why Aubrey loves this book

Faith is a good friend of mine, a prayer partner, in fact, and she knows what she writes. I always appreciate a writer with gravitas and lived experience of wilderness seasons.

Faith has gone to deep, dark places but remained incredibly hopeful and faithful. This book is filled with wisdom, fresh biblical insight, and an invitation to a deeper connection with God, even in difficult seasons.  

By Faith Eury Cho ,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Experiencing Friendship with God as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Build a confident friendship with Jesus using practical techniques backed by timeless wisdom to carry you through seasons of difficulty and back to abundance—from pastor and speaker Faith Eury Cho.

“A kind guide to help us explore the riches of our friend and Savior, Jesus . . . You’ll love this book.”—Jess Connolly, author of You Are the Girl For the Job and Breaking Free From Body Shame

In tough times, we can become more familiar with pain than progress and more acquainted with loneliness than companionship. But what if the purpose of our faith is not to reach the…


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Book cover of Aggressor

Aggressor by FX Holden,

It is April 1st, 2038. Day 60 of China's blockade of the rebel island of Taiwan.

The US government has agreed to provide Taiwan with a weapons system so advanced that it can disrupt the balance of power in the region. But what pilot would be crazy enough to run…

Book cover of Unmasked: Women Write About Sex and Intimacy After Fifty

Carolyn Lee Arnold Author Of Fifty First Dates After Fifty: A Memoir

From my list on that model older women unabashedly enjoying sex.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’ve been a very sexual woman since my twenties, and provided sex education for women as a young feminist. When I embarked on a fun dating project in my late fifties to date 50 men in order to find the right partner for me, I knew that many of my dates would include sexual encounters. My upbeat memoir about that project, Fifty First Dates After Fifty, includes the sex scenes, because I wanted to provide healthy, satisfying images of older women enjoying sex so that our sexuality would be validated and visible to each other and the world. The sex-positive books I recommend celebrate the variety of women’s sexuality.

Carolyn's book list on that model older women unabashedly enjoying sex

Carolyn Lee Arnold Why Carolyn loves this book

I love this anthology by women over fifty because it offers such a wide range of truths about our experiences with sex and intimate relationships.

More than fifty essays and poems cover a variety of honest reflections on the exquisite, the good, the not-so-good, and the challenging parts of older women relating sexually to men, to women, and to themselves.

Feelings expressed range from the ambivalence, disappointment, and ecstasy of dating, to the pleasures of being single, to the joy of long-term sex and commitment, to the acceptance of the sometimes sudden movement between these states. Can be read in one or two delicious gulps! 

By Marcia Meier (editor) , Kathleen A Barry (editor) ,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Unmasked as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Women over fifty are "the invisible woman" in American culture. In a society that reveres youth - and particularly young, sexy women - women over fifty fade into the shadows. Yet, for many women at mid-life, this is a time of flowering and coming into one's own, sexually and otherwise. Many older women love sex and crave the intimacy it provides. For every story of a harried mother who turns her husband away at night, or the older woman who long ago lost her libido, there are legions of others whose sex drives match those of men.

A recent study…


Book cover of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power
Book cover of It's Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single
Book cover of A Renaissance of Our Own: A Memoir & Manifesto on Reimagining

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Interested in dating, behavioral economics, and school?

Dating 65 books
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