Books like Momma Zen

I love the way Sarah Menkedick draws from her experience as a first-time mom and researcher of mothers suffering from perinatal conditions and institutional racism to illustrate the ways living a fear-based life has become normalized in American motherhood. I was encouraged to read her candid discussion about the paralyzing anxieties new moms face while trying to meet unrealistic societal expectations. 

I appreciated her keep-it-real speak regarding mothers’ feelings of anguish that go beyond the category of “postpartum depression” in the years that follow childbirth. This book really helped me feel less alone, especially as a mom from a historically marginalized background. I regained some hope that one day I too can reclaim my identities (those that are outside of motherhood) without fears cramping my flow.

I loved the way Karen Kleinman used her expertise as a maternal mental health expert to elaborate on the embarrassing thoughts and fears that new and expecting mothers experience during their fourth trimesters. I laughed out loud when I saw her creative cartoons that debunk common stigmas and limiting mindsets related to mothering. 

One of topics that I really resonated with include the idea that moms are supposed to quickly bounce back from childbirth on all levels. She reminded me how absurd it is for society to deem that it’s not OK for moms to take breaks and ask for help! Her stories helped me exercise more self-compassion. I also felt empowered to try out her exercises to confront complex fear-based thoughts about my own capacity as a mom.

I loved learning about psychotherapist Sue Patton Thoele’s personal journey and anecdotes of other women (including moms) who found the courage to become their most authentic selves. It blew my mind to know that so many women like myself were also facing daily internal battles with self-limiting fears influenced by patriarchal norms. 

Thoele hit the nail on the head when it came to naming some of those sneaky fear-based mindsets and behaviors that were embedded in my own motherhood experience, e.g., devaluing beliefs and self-sabotaging patterns. By the end of the book, I felt motivated to implement a courageous way of living. I walked away with affirmations that were geared towards transforming my subconscious fears into self-love. 

I loved how Dr. Lissa Rankin focused on how fear (in all its devious forms) shows up in life. I learned all about her methodology for calling in courage and the physiological impacts of fear on the human body (this was especially enlightening as I was accepting my ever-changing postpartum body). 

I also appreciated Rankin’s advice to readers about courage not being a “one-size-fits-all” approach. I felt reassured that I can customize my courage-cultivating journey however I like. I was able to take away her “prescription for courage,” which included concrete steps to reframe scary thoughts and a few meditations to do during stressful moments.

No calling is greater, nobler, or more fulfilling than that motherhood. Every day, as we nurture our children, mothers influence eternal destiny as no one else can. Tragically, today’s culture minimizes the vital importance of a mother’s role. In The Mission of Motherhood, Sally Clarkson helps you rediscover the joy and fulfillment to be found in the strategic role to which God in all his wisdom has called you, for a purpose far greater than you can ever imagine.

Any "New Mom" book that is written with humor and honesty is OK is my book! Ms. Wilder's book is refreshing, honest, and funny on many topics "new mom" related. She discusses many issues a "new mom" will encounter. She starts with the issue of "instant bonding"—what a relief to know that I was not only one to take a few weeks to fall in love. From there she discusses other biggie "new mom" topics - the realities of breastfeeding, bottle feeding, baby-blues, feeding solid foods, babysitters, venturing out with your newborn, other new mothers, handling friends without children, sex after baby, A-type mommies, and different parenting styles, and much more. This is a book you can read in one sitting or one topic at a time. The author's honest, witty style is engaging and entertaining, and I suspect will give many "New Moms" a peaceful night's sleep.

Kenison wrote this book when she was in her forties, after she nudged her husband to sell their long-time family house and move to rural New Hampshire with their two teenage sons. The book gives voice to being uprooted, letting go of the familiar, and the profound transitions of mid-life. Kenison writes beautifully of the stirrings and longings that prompt us to see our lives from a new vantage point, ultimately allowing us to move on with grace and grit.  

If you're looking for a good laugh and naked honesty about pregnancy, this book is for you. Jenny lets it all hang out, sometimes off the side of her bed. It is refreshing to get a "behind the scenes" glimpse at how another woman experiences the "not often talked about" issues of pregnancy and how she handles those issues. Famous or no, pregnancy does not discriminate among women. Jenny's message resonates. The decision of how to handle your issues is up to you, but exposure to Jenny's experiences will make your journey that much easier. Belly Laughs is a great gift for any pregnant girlfriend or for yourself. My favorite parts of the book are when Jenny visits the proctologist (the people at the community pool were staring at me as I laughed out loud) and her tips for husbands, they are truly inspired.

I normally gravitate toward fiction, so this one came out of left field for me.

Abigail Tucker, a correspondent for Smithsonian magazine, dives deep into the science of what makes a mother. I think I enjoyed this book so much because it almost reads like fiction between its accessible (and surprisingly funny!) tone and the stranger-than-fiction revelations about what happens to a woman’s brain when she becomes a mom.

I listened to this audiobook about motherhood while pushing my newborn second child in a stroller. Sarah Knott takes the reader through the stages of becoming a mother–conception, miscarriage, pregnancy, birth, newborn care, childcare, and resuming work–and then doing it again with a second child.

Throughout, Knott contrasts her own experiences with those of women in the past, especially in North America and Britain. The differences are striking, not just in healthcare but also in social support. I thought about the women I'd written about who had many children and how important familial support was.

As a fellow professor, I was heartened to read about Knott's experience returning to work and re-finding her academic mind. She writes poignantly about how motherhood is a constant interruption. It is so true!