Here are 95 books that That's Not What I Meant! fans have personally recommended if you like
That's Not What I Meant!.
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I’ve been fascinated by the power of language for as long as I can remember. As a sociolinguist, I study how language shapes our relationships, identities, and the societies we live in. I’ve spent years analyzing how people communicate in high-pressure environments like professional sports, but my passion for this topic goes far beyond my research. Language is everywhere—it’s how we connect, influence, and make sense of the world. The books on this list have deepened my understanding of the profound ways language impacts our lives. I’m excited to share them with you and hope they inspire you to see language in a whole new light!
This book takes you on a fascinating journey through the many levels of language—from the sounds we make to the way we use words to connect with others. David Crystal is not just an authority on language; he’s also an incredibly engaging writer who makes complex ideas feel accessible and exciting.
What I love about this book is how it balances insight and readability. Crystal’s enthusiasm for language shines through every page, reminding me of why I find language so endlessly fascinating. Whether he’s explaining how babies acquire speech or unpacking the nuances of social communication, Crystal has a way of making you see language in a new light. It’s a must-read for anyone curious about the mechanics and magic of how we communicate.
Steven Pinker meets Bill Bryson in this landmark exploration of language.
In the author's own words, "How Language Works is not about music, cookery, or sex. But it is about how we talk about music, cookery, and sex-or, indeed, anything at all." Language is so fundamental to everyday life that we take it for granted. But as David Crystal makes clear in this work of unprecedented scope, language is an extremely powerful tool that defines the human species.
Crystal offers general readers a personal tour of the intricate workings of language. He moves effortlessly from big subjects like the origins…
It is April 1st, 2038. Day 60 of China's blockade of the rebel island of Taiwan.
The US government has agreed to provide Taiwan with a weapons system so advanced that it can disrupt the balance of power in the region. But what pilot would be crazy enough to run…
I’ve been studying language and gender since I started graduate school in 1990. I’m an odd gender scholar in some ways in that I am a white cisgendered heterosexual masculine person. I think I’m interested in the topic because conversation and ‘being a man’ has always seemed hard and like a lot of work to me. So, I started studying these things in the 1990s with a project on language use in a college fraternity in the US. Since then I've published many articles on language and masculinities, including a 2004 article on the word dude, which is still popular in introductory linguistics courses today.
This book thoroughly debunks one of the biggest gender myths that have emerged over the last 50 years. It takes as its jumping-off point the media empire that started from John Gray’s books (based on an idea first argued for, less essentially, by linguist Deborah Tannen), books which have been one of the main forces in perpetuating the myth that men and women are categorically different from one another in terms of interactional behavior and temperament.
The reality is that there is more difference between women and other women and between men and other men than there is between women and men. It is, in fact, the myth that creates the differences by pointing us to see gender differences while ignoring other reasons for difference. Cameron is forceful and witty, and the book is an enjoyable read even as it does its work of revealing the powerful effects of gender…
Popular assumptions about gender and communication - famously summed up in the title of the massively influential 1992 bestseller Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus - can have unforeseen but far-reaching consequences in many spheres of life, from attitudes to the phenomenon of 'date-rape' to expectations of achievement at school, and potential discrimination in the work-place.
In this wide-ranging and thoroughly readable book, Deborah Cameron, Rupert Murdoch Professor of Language and Communication at Oxford University and author of a number of leading texts in the field of language and gender studies, draws on over 30 years of scientific…
I’ve been fascinated by the power of language for as long as I can remember. As a sociolinguist, I study how language shapes our relationships, identities, and the societies we live in. I’ve spent years analyzing how people communicate in high-pressure environments like professional sports, but my passion for this topic goes far beyond my research. Language is everywhere—it’s how we connect, influence, and make sense of the world. The books on this list have deepened my understanding of the profound ways language impacts our lives. I’m excited to share them with you and hope they inspire you to see language in a whole new light!
The words "language" and "myth" have graced the covers of many books, but this one is my favorite. This collection, edited by Laurie Bauer and Peter Trudgill, brings together world-renowned linguists to tackle a spectrum of unhelpful and incorrect assumptions about language. What sets this book apart is its sharp focus on how people’s attitudes toward language often recreate damaging stereotypes.
Bauer, Trudgill, and their contributors, several of whom I was taught by, arrest these misconceptions with insights grounded in linguistic research. Each myth is debunked in short, punchy chapters that are as engaging as they are informative. I love how this book leaves you feeling smarter and better equipped to think critically about the language myths we encounter every day.
A unique collection of original essays by 21 of the world's leading linguists. The topics discussed focus on some of the most popular myths about language: The Media Are Ruining English; Children Can't Speak or Write Properly Anymore; America is Ruining the English Language. The tone is lively and entertaining throughout and there are cartoons from Doonesbury andThe Wizard of Id to illustrate some of the points. The book should have a wide readership not only amongst students who want to read leading linguists writing about popular misconceptions but also amongst the large number of people who enjoy reading about…
A Duke with rigid opinions, a Lady whose beliefs conflict with his, a long disputed parcel of land, a conniving neighbour, a desperate collaboration, a failure of trust, a love found despite it all.
Alexander Cavendish, Duke of Ravensworth, returned from war to find that his father and brother had…
I’ve been fascinated by the power of language for as long as I can remember. As a sociolinguist, I study how language shapes our relationships, identities, and the societies we live in. I’ve spent years analyzing how people communicate in high-pressure environments like professional sports, but my passion for this topic goes far beyond my research. Language is everywhere—it’s how we connect, influence, and make sense of the world. The books on this list have deepened my understanding of the profound ways language impacts our lives. I’m excited to share them with you and hope they inspire you to see language in a whole new light!
This book dives into the ways language is intertwined with power in society. Fairclough’s analysis opened my eyes to how even the simplest phrases can reinforce hierarchies and ideologies.
It’s not an easy read, and it has been written more for an academic audience, but it’s so rewarding–every chapter feels like peeling back another layer of how communication works beneath the surface. If you’re interested in the hidden ways language shapes society, this is a must.
Language and Power is widely recognised both as a classic and an essential introductory textbook to the field of Critical Discourse Analysis. It focusses on how language functions in maintaining and changing power relations in modern society, the ways of analysing language which can reveal these processes and how people can become more conscious of them, as well as, more able to resist and change them.
In this twenty-fifth anniversary edition, Norman Fairclough includes a substantial new introduction and brings the discussion up-to-date. He shows both the importance of the book in the development of critical discourse analysis over the…
I am a policy advocate, grassroots activist, university professor, and author committed to social change—at scale—to advance social work values of racial, economic, environmental, and social justice. Recognizing that most social workers are drawn to our profession because they want to make a difference in the lives of their clients, one by one, I invest my energies and skills to making policy study and practice accessible, relevant, and urgent. My students quickly get used to noting the book recommendations I sprinkle throughout class discussions and in assignment feedback, because when you see the world through a social policy frame, everything has a policy implication!
There are many examples in this book that make my students angry—which is one of the reasons I want them to read it.
As people committed to engaging with others to pursue justice, we have to become proficient—if never comfortable—in having conversations with people who do not share our worldview, and in using our active listening skills and deep regard for human relationships to find common ground.
The skills and practices in this book equip us for effective engagement beyond the silos we frequent, help us see our own arguments as others may encounter them, and catalyze the kind of thoughtful interactions social change demands.
In our current political climate, it seems impossible to have a civil conversation with someone who has a different opinion. Dialogue is shut down when perspectives clash. Heated debates on Facebook and Twitter often lead to shaming, hindering any possibility of productive discourse. How to Have Impossible Conversations guides readers through the process of having effective, civil discussions about any divisive issues--not just religious faith but climate change, race, gender, poverty, immigration, and gun control.
Coauthors Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay distinguish between two types of conversations: those that are oriented toward arriving at truth, and those that may require…
Whether writing under my pen name Kate Somerset, or showing up as Ann Louden in real life, I've always believed in the enriching value of making memorable connections. As a consultant to nonprofits, I emphasize it’s not the number of donors that guarantees philanthropic support. It’s the quality of relationships with the organization. The deeper the connections, the more likely that donors will significantly invest and re-invest. As a breast cancer survivor/spokesperson, I know the importance of having a support team. And as an author and relationship coach, I emphasize establishing trust in relationships. The books on this list describe how you can be a connector, each with uniquely valuable content. I hope you find them all meaningful!
When I read this book, the lightbulb went off. I have been in so many situations where I didn’t feel heard, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.
Sorenson explains that truly being connected happens only when we are validated. I never realized that almost every conversation we have is a bid for validation. We are asking others not just to hear us but also to “say something.”
The response can either be positive or engaged—a turning towards us—OR negative or passive—a turning away from us. I couldn’t have put it into these exact words, but I now know that being understood is one of the greatest of human needs and is often unmet. The book underscores that connections happen best through validation.
What if making one tweak to your day-to-day conversations could immediately improve every relationship in your life?
In this 3-hour, conversational read, you’ll discover the whats, whys, and hows of one of the most valuable (yet surprisingly little-known) communication skills available—validation.
Whether you’re looking to improve your relationship with your spouse, navigate difficult conversations at work, or connect on a deeper level with friends and family, this book delivers simple, practical, proven techniques for improving any relationship in your life.
Mastery of this simple skill will enable you to:
Calm (and sometimes even eliminate) the concerns, fears, and uncertainties of…
The Duke's Christmas Redemption
by
Arietta Richmond,
A Duke who has rejected love, a Lady who dreams of a love match, an arranged marriage, a house full of secrets, a most unneighborly neighbor, a plot to destroy reputations, an unexpected love that redeems it all.
Lady Charlotte Wyndham, given in an arranged marriage to a man she…
I’ve spent years working with women who are expected to be confident, decisive, and polished, but are rarely taught how to build those skills. Through my work in politics, public service, and coaching thousands of women, I’ve seen how small, often invisible habits can keep capable women from being fully heard or respected. What I love most is helping women with the practical, everyday moments, like how to say no without apologizing, set boundaries, and build real influence. I’m passionate about leadership because I’ve watched these shifts change careers and lives, and these books reflect the lessons I come back to again and again.
I love this book because it finally explained communication differences I had noticed for years.
I work with women navigating conversations with both men and women, and this book helped me understand why the same message lands differently depending on who hears it. This book includes the tools needed to adapt speech depending on your audience.
I love how clear and logical this book is: it uses research and evidence around women and men communicating differently. It gave me language for things I’d observed but couldn’t describe, and it changed the way I communicate.
This guide highlights problems of communication between men and women, who can interpret the same conversation completely differently, even when there is no apparent misunderstanding. It examines how the sexes can work through communication barriers and get to the heart of the matter.
My career as a leader is built on an endless string of screwups—and I am so grateful for every single one of them. Every time I messed up, I learned another valuable lesson about what it means to be human, to own my humanity, and to make space for the humanity of others. That’s why I am relentlessly passionate about encouraging people—and especially leaders—to heal their relationship with failure and see it for the gift it really is. I believe that being open to growth and failure is what makes us human leaders. If we could all learn to lead with our hearts and our humanity, our world at work would be a much better place.
I used to think that being good with feedback meant being great at giving it. This book showed me that I was missing a big part of the equation: receiving feedback.
It taught me that one of the most powerful and important ways to build psychological safety and trust on a team is not only to ask for the team’s feedback, but to receive it in a way that builds trust. The simple act of saying “thanks for the feedback” creates a foundation upon which strong teams can be built.
The coauthors of the New York Times-bestselling Difficult Conversations take on the toughest topic of all: how we see ourselves
Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen have spent the past fifteen years working with corporations, nonprofits, governments, and families to determine what helps us learn and what gets in our way. In Thanks for the Feedback, they explain why receiving feedback is so crucial yet so challenging, offering a simple framework and powerful tools to help us take on life's blizzard of offhand comments, annual evaluations, and unsolicited input with curiosity and grace. They blend the latest insights from neuroscience and…
Ever since my primary school teacher read out my essay about a friendly octopus to the whole class, I’ve known I was a storyteller. I went on to enjoy a long career as a journalist–first, writing stories about rock and pop groups for the music paper Sounds (where I coined the term ‘The New Romantics’), then as editor of the pop magazine Record Mirror, and subsequently as a writer/editor for national newspapers including The Observer and The Sunday Telegraph. After that, I became a coach, a public speaking trainer, and a book editor. However, my most enduring passion is helping people find and tell their most meaningful stories.
I’m blowing a big chef’s kiss to this delicious little book.
Like gourmet cuisine, every ingredient is top quality and carefully chosen. The resulting dish is beautifully presented and full of flavour. You’ll find everything you need to know about how to tell a story well–from the 10 principles of storytelling to the gleaming detail and evoking the senses, delivered with verve and clarity by a seasoned scriptwriter and professor of storytelling.
The universe is made of stories, not atoms.' - Muriel Rukeyser. Today s world wants to know you and the real story behind why you do what you do. Whether you have a product to sell, a company mission to share or an audience to entertain, people are far more likely to engage and connect if you deliver a well-crafted story with an emotional core. Bobette Buster is a story consultant to major studios including Pixar, Disney and Sony Animation. In Do Story she teaches the art of telling powerful and engaging stories. With profiles of activists, leaders and visionaries,…
This book follows the journey of a writer in search of wisdom as he narrates encounters with 12 distinguished American men over 80, including Paul Volcker, the former head of the Federal Reserve, and Denton Cooley, the world’s most famous heart surgeon.
In these and other intimate conversations, the book…
I am an academic at the University of Glasgow with a background in philosophy and psychology. My approach to critical thinking is broad and informed by several other teaching and research interests: emotional intelligence, the psychology of influence, interpersonal communication, and virtue ethics. Motivating much of what I do is the question: How are we to live well? With respect to critical thinking I don’t just deal with the nature and structure of arguments, but also with the role they play in constructive dialogues, and how poor reasoning is linked to psychological biases and the absence of certain virtues. The books I have chosen here are representative of these concerns.
As well as being academically sound this book is accessible and engaging, and it deals with subjects such as explaining, listening, assertiveness, negotiations, and persuasion in a way that is highly applied and always useful. Perhaps most importantly it addresses many of the aspects of interpersonal communication that I have for a long time found fascinating and challenging.
-Number one text for depth and comprehensive coverage: detailed analysis of existing knowledge and practice -Comprehensively updated in 7th edition with latest research findings, theoretical developments and applications to practice. -Well structured and easily navigable: topic areas clearly defined and packaged to fit course delivery -Unmatched authority: highly recognized author and five previously successful editions -Links theory to practice to help students learn and apply key skills -Offers a strong UK-originated alternative to other US-oriented texts -Flexible and cross-disciplinary: applies to a broad range of professional roles and contexts