Books like Focusing — picked by fans

A kick in the pants of a book!

Each time I read it, I am reminded that the creation of art is a sacred ritual; that the beautiful process is what creates the beautiful product; that the showing up matters most; and that when we choose art-making as a vital part of our lives, we will do a brave thing each day we go to greet our project.

I absolutely loved this book. It was honestly life-changing for me. Dr Aron’s book helped me realize who and what I am, and why I felt poorly all the time. This book gave me permission to be my full self and to be beautifully sensitive.

Dr Aron uses personal pronouns, which pulled me right into the world of Sensitives. She wrote in medical/western terms which I appreciated because it was a scientific explanation of being sensitive. Therefore, I could accept myself more easily and embrace a big part of who I am.

I read Being Peace about 30 years ago. It’s the first of many books by this Zen Buddhist monk that I’ve read since then.

In one short volume, it captures the essence of what he teaches in his writings, retreats, and videos. Each short segment has layers of meaning and emotion that, over time, settle into the soul.

Despite years of therapy and meditation, my periods of inner peace were few and far between. This book planted a seed that led to more books, a new meditation practice, and eventually to my going to a large retreat, joining a community of Buddhist practitioners, and becoming a therapist myself.

I’ve passed on many of Thich Nhat Hanh’s wise insights and observations to my own clients.

When I Say No, I Feel Guilty is the book I most often take off my shelf to show clients.

Even if all you take away from it is the Broken Record technique for saying no and sticking to it, and you accept that the author’s Assertiveness Bill of Rights really does apply to you, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty will change your life for the better.

I wish this book had been published 50 years ago. It’s the perfect antidote to guilt-tripping and a trusty companion for staying true to your own needs, wants, and desires.

This book is the best description of the general consensus of personality today. The book describes the concept of OCEAN, or the Big Five personality indicators. OCEAN stands for Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism.

I like this book because it's not overdone. Nettle simplifies the complex - the Big Five. Chapter headings are: "Wanderers"; "Worriers"; "Controllers"; "Empathizers"; and "Poets". One word descriptors for persons who typically represent each trait.

Nettle does go into detail about clusters of traits and behaviors that characterize each type. Extroverts are Wanderers, generally optimistic, positive, and adventuresome. Introverts are aloof and can be Worriers, generally pessimistic, negative, and risk-averse. Or said another way - stay-at-homes, stick-in-the-muds, grounded individuals who could be happy being the way they are.

The one-word descriptors along with their opposites can be a fun and useful way to think about people. Such as novelist Lee Child's protagonist, Jack Reacher. Reacher… show more.

I stumbled upon this book when I researched the psychology behind my first novel (the protagonist goes to therapy sessions). Although most psychologists follow Jung, I decided to make the therapist in my book an Adlerian psychologist. Why? Because Adler studied the criminal mind and posed interesting theories of how we follow a “faulty pattern of life” set forth from the time we are children. Kids develop defense mechanisms that allow them to cope with a given situation (violent parent, cloying parent, bullying at school, etc.) The problem is, as the kids grow up, they forget that these “patterns” they’ve cultivated were based on survival and may not guide them in the right direction. To be happy, people may have to rewire their brains. Good stuff! And I used the heck out of it. 

The author is a psychology professor and a leading populariser of personality psychology. His book will give you a great overview of the most widely endorsed model of personality, which is based on the so-called Big Five traits, including extraversion, conscientiousness, and openness. Little is also renowned for his research into 'personal projects' – the goals you have that are meaningful to you. What I particularly took away from this book is how these projects feedback and shape your personality. So, if you want to have more control over who you are and will become, it is worth thinking about the goals that you are pursuing in life – whether they are satisfying and how they might be influencing you.

Dondi Dahlin’s book was a total surprise to me! I thought I knew a lot about the 5 Element theory, and wondered what she might add to the conversation. This was another book I could not put down. Her storytelling chops are amazing, and even if I wasn’t interested in the subject, she had me at hello. I was thrilled with the journey she brought me on. And I learned so much about myself, and about how people act the way they do. But more than that, I also learned valuable tools on how to interact better with people, how to extend compassion to myself and others, and how to see the world through a different lens. I adore this book!

I love this book because it actually changed my life. The book unpacks a worldview (made obvious by the title—that we are each made up of many parts and that none of them are bad), a psychological theory, and a set of personal practices.

It is the book my friends are most likely to tell me changed their lives as they tried out one of the practices and learned new things about themselves that freed them from self-judgment, self-doubt, or just a habit about themselves that was mysterious and unhelpful. There are very few books that have offered a methodology so new and so helpful that they instantly improved my life, but this one did.

Before I studied psychology, I wanted to know more about it, so I read this book. I loved how well-written and informative it is. Whether or not you end up taking Freud seriously isn't the point. Knowing about his ideas is the point because, rightly or wrongly, they underpin a lot of ‘everyday’ thinking in Western societies.

Even though Freud is no longer at the heart of mainstream psychology, his ideas remain intriguing. I am by no means passionate about psychoanalysis. Quite the opposite, in fact. What I am passionate about is the thoughtful consideration and exchange of ideas among people who may or may not agree with one another.