100 Books Like Me, Myself, and Us

This book is one of the most effective guides to meaningful, lasting change.

James Clear explains how transformation happens through small adjustments practiced consistently over time. His philosophy aligns with a core belief in my own life and work: growth is created by what you do daily, not occasionally.

Clear breaks down the power of systems, discipline, and identity-based habit building. The book proves that success is rarely about dramatic breakthroughs. It is the result of steady, intentional actions that accumulate into extraordinary impact.

Mastering the next right step is the foundation of personal and professional excellence.

Week in, week out, therapists meet people who are trying to change. Kottler is a highly experienced psychotherapist and in this book you will discover all that he has learned about the process of personal transformation through his career – including the obstacles to change (such as procrastination and lack of self-monitoring) and also the factors that make it easier, such as through fostering hope. I particularly enjoyed the passages on what's known as post-traumatic growth - that is, our ability to turn frightening or stressful experiences into catalysts for positive personal development.

There's a theory in psychology that alongside our basic traits, our personalities are also defined in part by the stories we tell about our lives – what's known as your narrative identity. In this inspirational book, Hardy shows how you can change who you are by reinterpreting your own past and, in effect, retelling your own story. As part of this process, you can think of past events as happening 'for you' instead of 'to you'. What's especially compelling about this book is that Hardy has made these changes in his own life and personality. You get to hear how he left behind his difficult youth, transformed into a dramatically more conscientious person, built a successful career as a psychologist, and became a loving husband and father.

Although I tend to lean towards being an extrovert, during my divorce, I was a full-blown introvert. I had no interest in going anywhere or doing anything. This book is subtle in humor and I love the journey the author takes you on. If you’re going through a divorce, it can encourage you to try new things, go on trips, and that meeting new people isn’t so bad. Getting out of your comfort zone and forcing yourself to get out during a divorce is very important. This book is also a reminder that sometimes we just don’t know the answers in life and that’s ok. 

I stumbled upon this book when I researched the psychology behind my first novel (the protagonist goes to therapy sessions). Although most psychologists follow Jung, I decided to make the therapist in my book an Adlerian psychologist. Why? Because Adler studied the criminal mind and posed interesting theories of how we follow a “faulty pattern of life” set forth from the time we are children. Kids develop defense mechanisms that allow them to cope with a given situation (violent parent, cloying parent, bullying at school, etc.) The problem is, as the kids grow up, they forget that these “patterns” they’ve cultivated were based on survival and may not guide them in the right direction. To be happy, people may have to rewire their brains. Good stuff! And I used the heck out of it. 

This book gives an excellent overview of Freud’s thoughts about human psychology, and also shows the way he thought. Freud’s brilliance shines through. I hasten to say most, though not by any means all of his hypotheses are wrong. I read this book at 15 and knew when I finished it I was going to be a psychologist. Some of my work gives strong support to a few of his hypotheses about the unconscious. Ironically, Freud himself didn’t believe his ideas could be tested by psychology experiments.

Before I studied psychology, I wanted to know more about it, so I read this book. I loved how well-written and informative it is. Whether or not you end up taking Freud seriously isn't the point. Knowing about his ideas is the point because, rightly or wrongly, they underpin a lot of ‘everyday’ thinking in Western societies.

Even though Freud is no longer at the heart of mainstream psychology, his ideas remain intriguing. I am by no means passionate about psychoanalysis. Quite the opposite, in fact. What I am passionate about is the thoughtful consideration and exchange of ideas among people who may or may not agree with one another.

This book is the best description of the general consensus of personality today. The book describes the concept of OCEAN, or the Big Five personality indicators. OCEAN stands for Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism.

I like this book because it's not overdone. Nettle simplifies the complex - the Big Five. Chapter headings are: "Wanderers"; "Worriers"; "Controllers"; "Empathizers"; and "Poets". One word descriptors for persons who typically represent each trait.

Nettle does go into detail about clusters of traits and behaviors that characterize each type. Extroverts are Wanderers, generally optimistic, positive, and adventuresome. Introverts are aloof and can be Worriers, generally pessimistic, negative, and risk-averse. Or said another way - stay-at-homes, stick-in-the-muds, grounded individuals who could be happy being the way they are.

The one-word descriptors along with their opposites can be a fun and useful way to think about people. Such as novelist Lee Child's protagonist, Jack Reacher. Reacher… show more.

I love this book because it actually changed my life. The book unpacks a worldview (made obvious by the title—that we are each made up of many parts and that none of them are bad), a psychological theory, and a set of personal practices.

It is the book my friends are most likely to tell me changed their lives as they tried out one of the practices and learned new things about themselves that freed them from self-judgment, self-doubt, or just a habit about themselves that was mysterious and unhelpful. There are very few books that have offered a methodology so new and so helpful that they instantly improved my life, but this one did.

Erich Fromm isn’t so well known nowadays, but I am a great admirer of his. He developed a wide-ranging vision of individual and collective well-being. He investigated the whole spectrum of human nature, from the cruelty and brutality of Nazi Germany (which he personally experienced, as a German Jew who escaped to the United States) to love and altruism. This book is his last major work, in which he decries modern society’s emphasis on having and suggests that the only authentic and fulfilling mode of life is being. He develops a concept of a new type of human being who lives in harmony with themselves and the world. Fromm rarely wrote explicitly about spirituality, but it’s an underlying theme of almost everything he wrote.