Books like Personality — picked by fans

As the mom of an extreme introvert, I listened to this book to better understand my child. It taught me so much about how introverts think, process information, but most importantly, what they need around communication. As a leader, understanding the differences in the way people think, work, and engage will enable you to get the most out of them.

I retrained myself to approach my daughter differently as a result of this book. It helped me explain myself to her and made her feel understood by me. Grateful for this book. Imagine if we did that in the workplace!

Full confession: the author is my son, Jake Jabbour. This is a memoir written in 2017 about the death of my father, his grandfather. They were close. My father died in October 2016, three weeks before the election of Donald Trump as POTUS. Subsequently, in the spring of 2017, we had a service for The Colonel. That's when this story begins.

After the service, Jake broke up with his girlfriend and embarked on a train trip across America. The reason was to teach and perform Improvisation Comedy. During that sixteen-day journey, Jake attempts to make sense of all that has happened. Moreover, to reflect on who he is. It's beautifully written, heartbreaking, and inspiring.

Jake identifies as an INFJ. Which stands for Introvert, Intuition, Feeling, Judging. It designates one of sixteen personality types per the Myers-Briggs Personality Type indicator test. My doctor doesn't give the MBTI much credence. However, a… show more.

I like this book because it's a case study of what can go wrong. If one doesn't know who they are. The consequences can have harmful effects. Not only for the person but for others as well. That is the definition of pathology - having a harmful impact.

The authors do a masterful job of explaining Bergdahl's personality. He was diagnosed as having a schizotypal personality disorder and never sought treatment. Using Daniel Nettle's Big Five personality indicators descriptors, Bergdahl can be described as a Worried, out-of-control, Wanderer.

I first discovered this book as a kid in my early twenties. It was the first novel to really blow my mind, to make me realize just how powerful the written word could be, how simple words on a page could so entirely engage the senses. It was, I tell you, an epiphany. 

Loggers in Oregon. A union strike. A stubborn, independent family. Nothing was complex about the plot, but the characters stepped out of the book and wandered around my bedroom like I’d taken hallucinogens. Their attitudes and emotions poured out from between the covers. The growl of chainsaws filled my ears, and the smell of gasoline filled my nostrils. Grease and woodchips somehow found their way under my fingernails.

An out-of-body experience. Breathtaking.

The author is a psychology professor and a leading populariser of personality psychology. His book will give you a great overview of the most widely endorsed model of personality, which is based on the so-called Big Five traits, including extraversion, conscientiousness, and openness. Little is also renowned for his research into 'personal projects' – the goals you have that are meaningful to you. What I particularly took away from this book is how these projects feedback and shape your personality. So, if you want to have more control over who you are and will become, it is worth thinking about the goals that you are pursuing in life – whether they are satisfying and how they might be influencing you.

In the late 1960s, Eugene Gendlin teamed up with pioneer psychologist Carl Rogers to try to figure out why some people got better with therapy while others did not.

After screening for all the factors that might explain this phenomenon, they identified the most important one, and it was something people either came into therapy already doing (and they got better) or didn’t do (and they didn’t improve). Gendlin created Focusing to teach us all this simple, powerful technique. It’s the best self-help tool I know.

Along with meditation, Focusing is at the heart of my personal and professional life.

I stumbled upon this book when I researched the psychology behind my first novel (the protagonist goes to therapy sessions). Although most psychologists follow Jung, I decided to make the therapist in my book an Adlerian psychologist. Why? Because Adler studied the criminal mind and posed interesting theories of how we follow a “faulty pattern of life” set forth from the time we are children. Kids develop defense mechanisms that allow them to cope with a given situation (violent parent, cloying parent, bullying at school, etc.) The problem is, as the kids grow up, they forget that these “patterns” they’ve cultivated were based on survival and may not guide them in the right direction. To be happy, people may have to rewire their brains. Good stuff! And I used the heck out of it. 

Dondi Dahlin’s book was a total surprise to me! I thought I knew a lot about the 5 Element theory, and wondered what she might add to the conversation. This was another book I could not put down. Her storytelling chops are amazing, and even if I wasn’t interested in the subject, she had me at hello. I was thrilled with the journey she brought me on. And I learned so much about myself, and about how people act the way they do. But more than that, I also learned valuable tools on how to interact better with people, how to extend compassion to myself and others, and how to see the world through a different lens. I adore this book!

I love Marsha Linehan’s book because it was the first book that taught me skills to reduce the negative impacts of borderline personality disorder. It was a perfect distillation of Linehan’s treatment methods into accessible handouts and worksheets that helped me better engage with dialectical behavior therapy. I still return to my well-worn copy regularly. 

As far as books that help you understand yourself go, this one is at the top of my list! I never understood why I was so resistant to the pressure of others, why accountability buddies didn’t work for me (even though they worked so well for other people), and why my husband was always so insistent about following the rules! Understanding that my superpower is asking great questions is what ultimately led me to coaching and writing my own book. I promise knowing more about how you respond to expectations will help you in so many ways.