Books like Grow Up! How to Raise an Adult by Being One Yourself

I love how this little children’s book summarises some complex adult concepts in easy-to-understand ways.

The story is full of ups and downs, sparking in me sadness and joy. There is the literal meaning of the story, but the metaphorical one is what interests me. The prince represents eternal youth – innocent, playful, and comes to earth to learn about adult life.

My favourite example of the call to maturity is when the prince meets the fox, and the fox teaches the prince about how authentic relationships help ‘tame’ his ego. We learn the importance of being reliable and caring and trustworthy in our relationships.

We learn that to really connect with someone, we need to shift our egos from ME to WE, and that this is a very important stage of our maturity. We also learn that what matters, what is the most important thing in life, is invisible,… show more.

I love this book because it is short yet full of wisdom about life.

It is really a graduation speech turned into a book, and I’m glad it was. The author tells simple stories in meaningful ways, which had me instantly reflecting on my own life, which is why I keep returning to this book every year. For example, Foster Wallace asks us to question how we construct meaning, in order for us to be more conscious of this process inside us all. I think that is an important part of growing up and taming the ego – being able to differentiate between our inner and outer worlds.

I also like how the author doesn’t use the word ego, but he talks about it throughout the book. He doesn’t offend the reader, particularly as he talks about all of us being in the same dilemma, for example, by the way… show more.

I love the way this book explains how our individual development contributes to the greater whole, the expansion of the collective consciousness, which is the only way the world can improve.

It’s a big topic, but I do love the way Tolle argues that our egos are the problem (in the form of our delusions and irrationality) as well as the solution (our ability to mature beyond just thinking of ourselves) to humanity. I admire how Tolle asks us to consider our complaining, criticisms, and judgments in terms of our fragile and needy ego, and how we need to take better responsibility for how we impact others.

There is a whole section on living as a performance as opposed to being authentic and true to yourself, which got me questioning myself in a constructive way. 

Again, this is a little book that packs a big punch.

I love how it explains the metaphors within medieval texts and how they relate to us today. Its main message is that we all need to heal our psychological suffering and mature in order to reach our potential as humans.

I found the book very insightful, particularly about the inferior and superior sides of our insecurities, and the artificial versus the authentic sides of us all. The medieval stories are described as universal hero stories of adventure and maturity. The book warns us about what happens when we refuse the call to inner work.

Full of meaning, this book argues that the answers lie within if the reader has the courage to take the inner hero’s journey, which is described as the integration of masculine and feminine energy within us all. I relate to this concept strongly. It reminds… show more.

This is the book I’ve been waiting for without realizing it. I found myself nodding, exclaiming out loud, and enthusiastically agreeing with something on almost every single page of this book (which I have annotated heavily!)

I also felt conflicted emotions while reading about some of the detrimental (but well-intentioned) practices of my fellow therapists: inadvertently amplifying trauma, causing children to ruinate on their suffering, and creating greater fragility and anguish in our patients.

Reading this book made me feel like the problems I encounter every day working with adolescents were being recognized on a broad scale, and it also validated a niggling feeling I have about superficial therapy-speak and a culture obsessed with mental health: this is NOT always helpful!

I was also relieved to find practical strategies for developing resilience and confidence in young people in spite of the cultural forces which have undermined these important character traits. 

Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing in America probes what I consider to be the basic dilemma of modern American parenting – how the love for children and concern for their welfare has led to growing anxiety among parents eager to do it right. 

In imaginative research into different dimensions of culture, Stearns shows that middle-class parents became increasingly self-conscious and self-questioning about meeting the needs of their children starting in the early twentieth century. The book probes the emotional consequences of modern parenting’s commitment to encouraging child expression and individual happiness.

Stearns’s exploration demonstrates one of the consequences of the revolution—from viewing children as having utility to having only emotional value—first defined by Zelizer. It suggests how even the best-intended changes can have unexpected consequences.

If you have read a parenting book or taken a parenting course in the last sixty years, chances are you have been influenced by the wisdom of Haim Ginott, even if you didn’t realize it.

He and his students, including the authors of How to Talk So Children Will Listen, set the groundwork for what is known today as connection parenting, conscious parenting, gentle parenting, playful parenting, and authoritative (but not authoritarian) parenting.

When my mom passed away and I looked through her books, I saw she had a first edition of Between Parent and Child, first published when I was a young boy.

When I read it, I felt a strong flash of recognition about the way she raised me. Ginott gets children, and he gets parents.

Books offering support to parents have come on in leaps and bounds since the days when Gina Ford and Supernanny-style discipline reigned supreme. This book is my go-to book for practical advice.

Perry, a psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience, is not interested in manipulating children’s behaviour with naughty steps and sticker charts. Her approach may incidentally help to get your children to brush their teeth and eat their vegetables, but her emphasis is on the far deeper and more important business of how to build a mutually respectful and cooperative relationship. Her voice is wise and refreshingly nonjudgmental.

This is one for parents who, in Perry’s words, "Not only love their children but want to like them, too”.

I love this book because it explains how a child’s brain works and what they need to access self-control. It gave me insight into why I saw challenging behaviors even when the child “knew better.”

I loved that when I finished reading it, I felt like I had actionable strategies for supporting my child’s mental well-being while navigating tantrums and meltdowns. 

I loved reading Esther’s book shortly after mine came out because even though we didn’t know each other when we wrote them–and even though they are written very differently–we agree on every major point.

While my book is based on interviews with 70 other families, hers is based on her personal experiences: raising extraordinary children (the CEO of YouTube and the CEO of 23andMe) and creating the country’s largest high school journalism program. But we both agree on how to raise children: trust them, give them independence, teach them to have grit, and model kindness.