Peter Charleston's favourite books about ego and self development without the psychobabble

I love how this little children’s book summarises some complex adult concepts in easy-to-understand ways.

The story is full of ups and downs, sparking in me sadness and joy. There is the literal meaning of the story, but the metaphorical one is what interests me. The prince represents eternal youth – innocent, playful, and comes to earth to learn about adult life.

My favourite example of the call to maturity is when the prince meets the fox, and the fox teaches the prince about how authentic relationships help ‘tame’ his ego. We learn the importance of being reliable and caring and trustworthy in our relationships.

We learn that to really connect with someone, we need to shift our egos from ME to WE, and that this is a very important stage of our maturity. We also learn that what matters, what is the most important thing in life, is invisible, and that is love. This book reminds me of what really matters. That includes that you can't have real love without maturity. The book is romantic without being tacky. Educational without lecturing.

It is one of those books that can be interpreted differently depending on your level of development when you read it, and because there are so many interpretations you can glean from its symbolism. It is argued that the author never grew up himself, which makes the reading of this even more interesting. 

Again, this is a little book that packs a big punch.

I love how it explains the metaphors within medieval texts and how they relate to us today. Its main message is that we all need to heal our psychological suffering and mature in order to reach our potential as humans.

I found the book very insightful, particularly about the inferior and superior sides of our insecurities, and the artificial versus the authentic sides of us all. The medieval stories are described as universal hero stories of adventure and maturity. The book warns us about what happens when we refuse the call to inner work.

Full of meaning, this book argues that the answers lie within if the reader has the courage to take the inner hero’s journey, which is described as the integration of masculine and feminine energy within us all. I relate to this concept strongly. It reminds me of why I became a therapist, why I like to find the causes of our behaviour, and it helps me understand the deep existential elements of human existence.

I found this book full of practical wisdom from a veteran Australian parenting expert.

His many case studies are very relatable, and his whole idea that if you want to really be a good role model to your kids, you have to mature yourself is spot on. And Cheetham does tell us how. He writes about finding the middle way between over-parenting and under-parenting.

There are great tips on negotiating and creating strong boundaries, and the chapter on “The Strength to Watch Them Fail” is excellent and something many parents struggle with. It made me feel more normal in the sense that parenting can be a struggle for all of us, and it constantly reminded me that all I can control is my own attitude and behaviour. 

I love the way this book explains how our individual development contributes to the greater whole, the expansion of the collective consciousness, which is the only way the world can improve.

It’s a big topic, but I do love the way Tolle argues that our egos are the problem (in the form of our delusions and irrationality) as well as the solution (our ability to mature beyond just thinking of ourselves) to humanity. I admire how Tolle asks us to consider our complaining, criticisms, and judgments in terms of our fragile and needy ego, and how we need to take better responsibility for how we impact others.

There is a whole section on living as a performance as opposed to being authentic and true to yourself, which got me questioning myself in a constructive way. 

I love this book because it is short yet full of wisdom about life.

It is really a graduation speech turned into a book, and I’m glad it was. The author tells simple stories in meaningful ways, which had me instantly reflecting on my own life, which is why I keep returning to this book every year. For example, Foster Wallace asks us to question how we construct meaning, in order for us to be more conscious of this process inside us all. I think that is an important part of growing up and taming the ego – being able to differentiate between our inner and outer worlds.

I also like how the author doesn’t use the word ego, but he talks about it throughout the book. He doesn’t offend the reader, particularly as he talks about all of us being in the same dilemma, for example, by the way we overanalyse rather than be fully present. There is so much insight in such a little book; I'm just saddened that the author died tragically without his potential coming to fruition. I think it’s important to read this book from that context.