Books like Toxic Parents — picked by fans

Illusion. Women’s framing. Adrift in a world everyone thinks is perfect. Living the glamorous life others want. Being the thing men desire to have, to own, as long as the veneer holds. Dealing with mental illness that people explain away because all the tinsel is just dressing and sparkles, but if you lean on it, it parts, and you find yourself falling through the space.

Although ‘they’ say they care, they don’t, and no one wants to hear the truth, they only want pretend. Within the first five pages, we understand what’s going on inside her, that she has something to hide, and that she’s willing to lie about who she really is. In chapter one, we discover that her best friend, Doreen, doesn’t really know her name. We see the world through her eyes, interspaced with an actual conversation that calls the world a lie and her own framing… show more.

I discovered this book before almost anyone else in a New Age store that sold jewelry and cards and had a small selection of books. When I picked it up and saw two tigers on the cover, I had to buy it.

As soon as I read it, I thought, “This is the most useful way of thinking about and working with trauma that I have ever seen. When I called to try to join a training program, I was told there was no training program yet. I kept checking, then finally gave up.

It took several years before Peter Levine finally started a training program, and I signed up. Somatic Experiencing has deeply influenced my work.

I read Homecoming before becoming a therapist and at the height of struggling with inner conflicts, the sorts that were born from a neglectful childhood. John Bradshaw taught me how to have those necessary conversations that I would have had as a child, if only I had been an adult. As a child, we haven’t got the experience, skills, or authority to point out what we need to feel protected, supported, or loved. I learnt a lot from following the exercises in Homecoming; one very important realisation was that I needed to re-parent myself and I did the best I could.

If I could have a conversation with John Bradshaw, I’d thank him for his book because without it I would probably have repeated some of the damage done to me, on my own child.

We might believe that not saying the unsayable will keep family members from being affected by the awful truth. Well, nothing could be further from reality, and John Bradshaw's Family Secrets explains perfectly why keeping awful secrets can be more damaging than having truthful conversations. 

This is one of the best books recommended to clients who came to me with family trauma. A mum who was emotionally distant, unable to show love or give support, a dad who terrorized the dinner table with silence or sudden flairs of anger. Perhaps an uncle or aunt in front of whom certain subjects were never mentioned. Secrets that were kept so tight yet were on display at every family gathering.

Family Secrets clarified many questions for a lot of clients, clearing the way for therapy to go deeper.

I am endlessly grateful for, astounded by, my joy-filled life, given my history of childhood trauma. I have no doubt that the reasons I’ve done as well as I have is the healing philosophy put forth in Iron Legacy. Full disclosure: the author was my therapist for 30 years, until she retired. I wasn’t her guinea pig, and I certainly make no money from recommending her book. I just happened to be Donna’s client for 30 of the 50 years during which she developed the ideas that are the core of Iron Legacy.

The physical/emotional/spiritual path of the main character in my book is based on what I learned about family dysfunction by working with Donna.

Iron Legacy combines Donna’s short, personal essays and her self-help nonfiction in a way that deftly unpeels why adults living with childhood trauma behave the way we do. Why the addiction? Why the… show more.

This is Robert Jackman’s second book, which explains why unresolved inner child wounding contributes to codependency patterns in relationships. This book helps the reader develop a deeper understanding of codependency, which, as a result, helps them identify the unresolved trauma that contributes to it. This book is a useful resource to help the reader answer questions as to why they feel their relationship has gone off-track, and why they may struggle with communication. This book is recommended to those who are currently in a relationship or want to avoid falling into the same pattern in their next relationship.

Whilst there is no mention of motorcycle travel in this book (and I have read it three times now), it finally provided the key to the quest I didn't even know I was on during my own ongoing motorcycle travel history.

Why did my relationships fail? Why was I so restless? When I recognised myself within the pages, I didn't know whether it was a huge relief or whether I had been hit by a truck! Gratitude doesn't begin to cover it. 

One of my favorite sayings (by G.K. Chesterton) is, “If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.” With these well-chosen words, Chesterton converted me to “imperfectionism.” It’s not that as imperfectionists we should aim to do things badly, but that we should aim to do necessary things and accept that we’re going to make mistakes on the way. Guise’s writing isn’t always elegant. However, he puts the case strongly that perfectionism is not something to humble-brag about, and is a “disorder of the mind.” More importantly, though, he offers detailed, practical, easy-to-implement steps for developing an imperfectionist mindset where we “lose our crippling fear of not doing [things] well.”

This book, written by life coach Lisa A. Romano, tells the story of a woman who has suffered childhood trauma, loneliness, and low self-esteem but eventually reaches a turning point where she heals from the faulty programming of her childhood that allows her to experience a healthy marriage. This book is a valuable resource for readers who may feel imprisoned by their unfortunate childhood. From codependency to narcissistic abuse, The Road Back to Me is an important resource for those seeking hope and inspiration to heal from their troubled past. This book features a well-written, descriptive, and inspirational story.

I often see people who believe they need someone else to make them whole. This is especially true when someone has been emotionally or spiritually abused. Emotional abuse is when someone consistently belittles and dominates you dismissing your value and making you feel less than. In addition to addressing emotional abuse, Don’t Call it Love also delves into the issues of spiritual abuse, something I have seen all too often in my ministry. It’s a travesty when your mate distorts scripture to manipulate and control you or to make you feel less than. If you have experienced emotional or spiritual abuse this book can help you understand your true value in the eyes of God and give you insight into how to avoid continuing to land in abusive relationships.