Here are 100 books that Honest Dialogue fans have personally recommended if you like
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I am a retired psychotherapist and teacher, but if someone asked me what the purpose of life is, I’d say, “to become aware.” Awareness is the capacity to see without prejudice, bias, or conditioning. I don’t like being in the dark, and so I have been on a lifelong journey to become aware. I have stepped into seeing several times in my life, so now my task is to teach others. It’s who I am—my essence is to continue teaching, to set people free from societal conditioning and their upbringings. Growing up means losing certain comforting illusions, but greater understanding fills their place.
This is one of the most powerful religious books I’ve ever read. It’s difficult work, and it took me a couple of days to understand the concept. Buber articulates that you can deal with people either as things or as souls. Many of us unconsciously place people in relation to ourselves as an “it.” But if you see past what a person appears to be, your relation to them becomes “I-Thou” rather than “I-it.”
I read it in my early 20s and am still impacted by how it teaches us to treat people as their inner selves.
Buber's main proposition is that we may address existence in two ways: [1] that of the "I" towards an "It", towards an object that is separate in itself, which we either use or experience; [2] that of the 'I' towards 'Thou', in which we move into existence in a relationship without bounds. One of the major themes of the book is that human life finds its meaningfulness in relationships. All of our relationships, Buber contends, bring us ultimately into relationship with God, who is the Eternal Thou.
Considered a landmark of twentieth-century intellectual history, this is Martin Buber's classic treatment…
Magical realism meets the magic of Christmas in this mix of Jewish, New Testament, and Santa stories–all reenacted in an urban psychiatric hospital!
On locked ward 5C4, Josh, a patient with many similarities to Jesus, is hospitalized concurrently with Nick, a patient with many similarities to Santa. The two argue…
All my life, I struggled to connect with people, but love and friendship evaded me. I constantly hurt others. Relationships were like a language I couldn’t understand. When people loved me, I knew that they were mistaken, because I was unlovable. Then, a neuroscientist told me something that changed my life: The way we connect with others—the oxytocin response—is wired into our brains in the first few years of life, before we can form conscious memories. That set me on the path of studying the neuroscience of love and connection. And I learned something amazing: I could change that wiring and learn to love.
Are you like me? A people pleaser? So concerned about what the other person is feeling that I’m not even aware of my own feelings? Then this book is for you. Don’t be put off by the awkward title; it’s not about high-IQ kids. The drama is the way children must hide their true selves to please their parents; the gift is the ability to suppress our own needs.
Miller writes, “There are many children who have not been free, right from the beginning, to experience the very simplest of feelings, such as discontent, anger, rage, pain, even hunger—and, of course, the enjoyment of their own bodies.”
I feel that! Miller explains how therapy can help us confront and heal from that rage and pain. I get mad and cry every time I reread this book.
Why are many of the most successful people plagued by feelings of emptiness and alienation? This wise and profound book has provided thousands of readers with an answer,and has helped them to apply it to their own lives.Far too many of us had to learn as children to hide our own feelings, needs, and memories skillfully in order to meet our parents' expectations and win their "love." Alice Miller writes, "When I used the word 'gifted' in the title, I had in mind neither children who receive high grades in school nor children talented in a special way. I simply…
I am a psychotherapist and pastor. Since my first book Highly Sensitive People in an Insensitive World, which became an international bestseller, I have received letters from all over the world, from people, telling me about their lives. I discovered there is a need for books on how to live your life in an authentic way. I have studied Psychiatrist C.G. Jung and Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard at the university. The books, I recommend are easier to read than these two. In my books, I use many examples. It is important to me that the wisdom of great writers becomes accessible to all people regardless of their level of education.
I cried a lot, when I read this book at first. Later on I have returned to it now and then and find relief in its clear way to describe how important it is not to try to repress your grief. Face it and work through it, and you’ll afterward feel better and stronger than ever before.
Throughout life we have many opportunities to practice mourning. The better you become at going through grief, the greater becomes your courage to go into new loving relationships, and the better you become at loving.
Feelings of loss, resulting in grief, are triggered by many situations besides the death of a loved one. Healing Pain investigates why the process of grief can be such a dramatic turning-point, and why people who undergo it are never the same as they were before. A bestseller in Scandinavia, it describes the treatment methods developed by the authors to help people find the healing power inherent in health grief and gives detailed and practical advice on how to work with normal and pathological grief in individual or group settings.
A poisonous maiden, a Daoist sex cult, and a violent insurgency.
The polyandrous Yan family in China's rural Shaanxi Province takes in two carpenter brothers. When one brother is convicted of murder after killing their neighbor in a dispute, a constable threatens to expose the family's rumored polyandry and extorts…
I am a psychotherapist and pastor. Since my first book Highly Sensitive People in an Insensitive World, which became an international bestseller, I have received letters from all over the world, from people, telling me about their lives. I discovered there is a need for books on how to live your life in an authentic way. I have studied Psychiatrist C.G. Jung and Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard at the university. The books, I recommend are easier to read than these two. In my books, I use many examples. It is important to me that the wisdom of great writers becomes accessible to all people regardless of their level of education.
This book is about psychic self-defense. It is very important for everyone to be aware of which kind of self-protecting strategies you use. They might be unconscious and maybe they play a game with you, so you don’t reach your goals. When I discovered my own strategies I let go of some of them, and my love life became easier.
Traditionally, psychoanalytic treatment has been a lengthy endeavour, requiring a long-term commitment from patient and analyst, as well as vast financial resources. More recently, short-term approaches to psychoanalytic treatment have proliferated. One of the most well-known and thoroughly studied is the groundbreaking method of Intensive Short-term Dynamic Psychotherapy, developed by Dr. Habib Davanloo. Having trained directly with Dr. Davenloo, the author has written a clear, concise outline of the method that has come to be regarded as a classic in the field. The book is organised in a systematic fashion, analogous to the process of therapy itself, from initial contact…
I’ve spent a lot of my career teaching people to navigate the complex, often messy intersection of ethics, communication, and human behavior. As a behavior analyst, teacher, supervisor, and coauthor of Daily Ethics: Creating Intentional Practice for Behavior Analysts, I’ve seen firsthand how the ability to have honest, compassionate, and courageous conversations can make or break relationships, teams, and outcomes. I chose these five books because they’ve shaped how I show up in my work and life—and because I have seen their contents help others become more intentional, committed, and successful communicators.
I love this book because it gave me a roadmap for navigating the conversations I used to dread, many of which involve ethics.
As a supervisor and leader, I’ve faced moments where my voice was shaky, my palms were sweaty (think “Mom’s spaghetti”), and my brain was frantically trying to script the “perfect” thing to say. Crucial Conversations reminded me that it’s not about perfect—it’s about being present, showing up, and having the conversation even when it is difficult.
This book highlights the importance of inviting different perspectives into tricky conversations. I’ve used its tools to prepare for and navigate tricky conversations in a collaborative way, focused on shared goals, mutual respect, and safety—even when emotions run high. It’s my “conversation courage” handbook.
The New York Times and Washington Post bestseller that changed the way millions communicate
"[Crucial Conversations] draws our attention to those defining moments that literally shape our lives, our relationships, and our world. . . . This book deserves to take its place as one of the key thought leadership contributions of our time." -from the Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
"The quality of your life comes out of the quality of your dialogues and conversations. Here's how to instantly uplift your crucial conversations." -Mark Victor Hansen, cocreator of the #1…
I’ve been fascinated by the power of language for as long as I can remember. As a sociolinguist, I study how language shapes our relationships, identities, and the societies we live in. I’ve spent years analyzing how people communicate in high-pressure environments like professional sports, but my passion for this topic goes far beyond my research. Language is everywhere—it’s how we connect, influence, and make sense of the world. The books on this list have deepened my understanding of the profound ways language impacts our lives. I’m excited to share them with you and hope they inspire you to see language in a whole new light!
This book really drew me to the power of language because it completely changed the way I think about everyday conversations and their power to shape relationships. Tannen’s exploration of conversational style taught me that it is not just what we say but how we say it that shapes our relationships. Misunderstandings I’d brushed off made sense: the clashes between my need to be direct and others' preference for subtlety, for example, or why certain conversations left me feeling unheard.
This book was empowering and humbling at the same time. It offers a guide to better communication that doesn’t point fingers but helps you see the nuance in every exchange. If you’ve ever asked, “Why did they take that the wrong way?” this book will resonate.
“Tannen combines a novelist’s ear for the way people speak with a rare power of original analysis....Fascinating.” —Oliver Sacks, author of The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and The Mind’s Eye
In That’s Not What I Meant!, Deborah Tannen, renowned communication expert and author of the New York Times bestsellers You’re Wearing THAT? and You Just Don’t Understand, explores how conversational styles can make or break interpersonal relationships at home, at work, or at play. Fans of her books and the healthily curious reader interested in popular psychology, feminism, linguistics, or social sciences will be fascinated by…
Big Ideas... For Small Businesses
by
John Lamerton,
Big Ideas… for Small Businesses is a straight-talking, no-nonsense guide to growing a small business without sacrificing your lifestyle. Written by a former civil servant turned entrepreneur, the book challenges hustle culture and instead champions the idea of an "ambitious lifestyle business" - one that provides freedom and financial stability,…
I’ve spent a lot of my career teaching people to navigate the complex, often messy intersection of ethics, communication, and human behavior. As a behavior analyst, teacher, supervisor, and coauthor of Daily Ethics: Creating Intentional Practice for Behavior Analysts, I’ve seen firsthand how the ability to have honest, compassionate, and courageous conversations can make or break relationships, teams, and outcomes. I chose these five books because they’ve shaped how I show up in my work and life—and because I have seen their contents help others become more intentional, committed, and successful communicators.
I recommend this book because it taught me that every hard conversation has three layers: what happened, what’s felt, and what that means to each person.
Before reading it, I often got stuck on the “facts” and missed the emotional undercurrent, especially for my communication partner.
Now, I approach challenging discussions with a mental checklist from Difficult Conversations that helps me listen for what’s beneath the words. It has saved me from countless misunderstandings and made me a much better listener and collaborator.
The 10th-anniversary edition of the New York Times business bestseller-now updated with "Answers to Ten Questions People Ask"
We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. From the Harvard Negotiation Project, the organization that brought you Getting to Yes, Difficult Conversations provides a step-by-step approach to having those tough conversations with less stress and more success. you'll learn how to:
· Decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation · Start a conversation without defensiveness · Listen for the meaning of what is not said ·…
I’ve said all along that the people I’ve surrounded myself with are the most important part of everything I do - my crew is what helps push me forward and supports me when things are tough. It’s a really important skill to have to continually do two things: better understand myself, through both outside learning and deepening self-awareness, and continue to learn about other people and strengthen all of the relationships I have, both inside and outside of business.
I feel that understanding and being able to work with all kinds of people is really the key to success in business (and honestly, in life in general). I consider myself a damn good communicator, but I still learned SO much in this book to take my leadership in that area to the next level.
It’s also not just about speaking and relationships, but taking in all of the cues in situation (verbal, visual, context, etc). This should be required reading for anyone working with people (which is most of us!).
It's not enough to have great ideas. You also need to know how to communicate them.
What makes someone charismatic? Why do some people captivate a room, while others have trouble managing a small meeting? What makes some ideas spread, while other good ones fall by the wayside?
Cues - the tiny signals we send to others 24/7 through our body language, facial expressions, word choices and vocal inflection - have a massive impact on how we, and our ideas, come across. Our cues can either enhance our message or undermine it.
I am a policy advocate, grassroots activist, university professor, and author committed to social change—at scale—to advance social work values of racial, economic, environmental, and social justice. Recognizing that most social workers are drawn to our profession because they want to make a difference in the lives of their clients, one by one, I invest my energies and skills to making policy study and practice accessible, relevant, and urgent. My students quickly get used to noting the book recommendations I sprinkle throughout class discussions and in assignment feedback, because when you see the world through a social policy frame, everything has a policy implication!
There are many examples in this book that make my students angry—which is one of the reasons I want them to read it.
As people committed to engaging with others to pursue justice, we have to become proficient—if never comfortable—in having conversations with people who do not share our worldview, and in using our active listening skills and deep regard for human relationships to find common ground.
The skills and practices in this book equip us for effective engagement beyond the silos we frequent, help us see our own arguments as others may encounter them, and catalyze the kind of thoughtful interactions social change demands.
In our current political climate, it seems impossible to have a civil conversation with someone who has a different opinion. Dialogue is shut down when perspectives clash. Heated debates on Facebook and Twitter often lead to shaming, hindering any possibility of productive discourse. How to Have Impossible Conversations guides readers through the process of having effective, civil discussions about any divisive issues--not just religious faith but climate change, race, gender, poverty, immigration, and gun control.
Coauthors Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay distinguish between two types of conversations: those that are oriented toward arriving at truth, and those that may require…
The problem is not with the actions young women take but with the toxic, sexist conditions they are responding to.
Tanenbaum found, based on six years of interviews with young people ages 14-30, that young women are navigating a culture littered with gendered dress codes, revenge porn, and sexually explicit…
My career as a leader is built on an endless string of screwups—and I am so grateful for every single one of them. Every time I messed up, I learned another valuable lesson about what it means to be human, to own my humanity, and to make space for the humanity of others. That’s why I am relentlessly passionate about encouraging people—and especially leaders—to heal their relationship with failure and see it for the gift it really is. I believe that being open to growth and failure is what makes us human leaders. If we could all learn to lead with our hearts and our humanity, our world at work would be a much better place.
I used to think that being good with feedback meant being great at giving it. This book showed me that I was missing a big part of the equation: receiving feedback.
It taught me that one of the most powerful and important ways to build psychological safety and trust on a team is not only to ask for the team’s feedback, but to receive it in a way that builds trust. The simple act of saying “thanks for the feedback” creates a foundation upon which strong teams can be built.
The coauthors of the New York Times-bestselling Difficult Conversations take on the toughest topic of all: how we see ourselves
Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen have spent the past fifteen years working with corporations, nonprofits, governments, and families to determine what helps us learn and what gets in our way. In Thanks for the Feedback, they explain why receiving feedback is so crucial yet so challenging, offering a simple framework and powerful tools to help us take on life's blizzard of offhand comments, annual evaluations, and unsolicited input with curiosity and grace. They blend the latest insights from neuroscience and…
