Books like Growing Up Shared — picked by fans

Media producers, digital designers, educators, child psychologists – professionals with different kinds of expertise and experience have different insights to offer.

I find it fascinating how these insights converge in this book on a vision of childhood that I can really support – children are seen as active agents making sense of their digital world, but also in need of thoughtful mentoring and guidance from parents, educators, and media producers.

Unlike some books which forget that media are not just tech but also content, this book really engages with the kinds of cultural representations that now populate children’s lives and imaginations. Of course there are differences between the authors, so this book offers plenty of food for thought to the reader.

All the essays are short, so you can get the gist of an argument and further reading in just a few pages – and each one has something new… show more.

As a researcher, I’m always looking out for fresh ways to approach familiar problems.

Three problems really bother me. One is the idea of reducing all the different types of media, and all the different ways families use media, to a simplistic formula – screen time. As if we could just measure screen time, reduce it by turning parents into screen time police, and thereby solve the problems of our digital age.

Another is the idea of seeing parents as having all the power and children as willful or ignorant or naughty and so needing to be controlled. As if families weren’t trying to be more democratic and as if parents had nothing to learn from their children. The third is the idea that families have got to work all this out on their own, as if digital innovators and the wider society weren’t in some ways part of the… show more.

I love how balanced and practical this book is, full of suggestions for parents to try out.

Yet at the same time, it’s thoroughly grounded in independent research. Crucially, it steers clear of moral panics about how tech is making everything worse and, instead, builds on tried and tested insights from evidence. This combination is because it’s written by an Oxford University professor and a parenting counsellor.

It’s also full of parents’ experiences – as I try to do in my own work, the book reminds us how incredibly diverse families are. So, there are no ‘one size fits all’ solutions – but after reading it, I felt there’s plenty I and other parents can do to support children growing up in a digital world. And that’s very encouraging!

This book was published ten years ago, and it’s as fresh and relevant as ever. I’ve chosen to highlight it here because, honestly, it’s the classic book that catalyzed many researchers into properly listening to young people and really respecting their views.

I learned a lot from danah boyd’s fieldwork about how to put effort into gaining teens’ trust, avoiding adult assumptions, and properly listening to what teens had to say. The teens in this book are often troubled, struggling with mental health problems and difficult life circumstances – but it's not their fault, they are facing so many real-world problems – poverty, family breakdown, racism, etc.

As a result, teens turn to technology for support, privacy, intimacy, and belonging. But in key ways, technology can also make things worse. I found this book truly thought-provoking.

I love this book because the author, Molly Forbes, is so relatable. She’s a mom trying to figure out all of this confusing stuff about body image, health, and well-being for her own sake and her kids.

I found this book to be very accessible and easy to read yet packed with valuable information and even hands-on activities. Perhaps I liked this book best because it feels authentic and hopeful. 

I laughed the whole time I read this book, even though my kids’ tantrums make me cry in real life.

Dr. Hershberg is the type of expert I completely trust and really like because she’s so human and relatable. I read this book when my children were beyond the typical tantrum stage, but I found it helpful even for dealing with their older kids' tantrums. And I recommend it to every parent of a toddler I know because it would have changed my life in those toddler years.

Tantrums can make me feel like the worst parent ever, but this book made tantrums so normal and not really about me while also giving me tools to help make tantrums less painful for everyone.

Parents are the foundation of our society. However, too many parents do not receive the support they need to meet the needs of their children.

Dr. Dana Suskind, my incredible wife, combines the latest science on the key role of parents in the development of children’s brains with stories of the experience of parents left shouldering this vital responsibility. Leaving parents unsupported is detrimental not only to children and families, but also society.

This book is essential for all members of society to read in order to understand why and, importantly, how we must support parents. Parent Nation provides a blueprint for a more sustainable future.

Books offering support to parents have come on in leaps and bounds since the days when Gina Ford and Supernanny-style discipline reigned supreme. This book is my go-to book for practical advice.

Perry, a psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience, is not interested in manipulating children’s behaviour with naughty steps and sticker charts. Her approach may incidentally help to get your children to brush their teeth and eat their vegetables, but her emphasis is on the far deeper and more important business of how to build a mutually respectful and cooperative relationship. Her voice is wise and refreshingly nonjudgmental.

This is one for parents who, in Perry’s words, "Not only love their children but want to like them, too”.

In this book, Dr. Lieberman holds parents’ hands as she walks through toddlers’ emotional experiences.

She draws upon her work as both a clinician and a researcher in writing this book, leaving a narrative that is fresh and also well informed. As a long-time fan of Dr. Lieberman, I can feel her respect for young children emanating throughout this book.

Dr. Naumburg’s books, including this one, offer a fresh perspective on parenting.

In this book, she compels parents to practice radical self-compassion. I find her message comforting and welcome, especially in an era when parents get messages from literally everywhere about all of the things they need to do better. Ironically, our feelings of guilt and anxiety about parenting can actually get in the way of good parenting, so finding a way to tune out these voices is important.

Dr. Naumburg is here to tell parents to accept that we are human, that parenting standards are impossibly hard, and that we should be more understanding of ourselves. This just feels really good to hear, especially on the heels of the pandemic, and I think we all need this message.

This is the kind of book I frequently recommend to friends and clients.