Books like It's Complicated — picked by fans

Media producers, digital designers, educators, child psychologists – professionals with different kinds of expertise and experience have different insights to offer.

I find it fascinating how these insights converge in this book on a vision of childhood that I can really support – children are seen as active agents making sense of their digital world, but also in need of thoughtful mentoring and guidance from parents, educators, and media producers.

Unlike some books which forget that media are not just tech but also content, this book really engages with the kinds of cultural representations that now populate children’s lives and imaginations. Of course there are differences between the authors, so this book offers plenty of food for thought to the reader.

All the essays are short, so you can get the gist of an argument and further reading in just a few pages – and each one has something new… show more.

As a researcher, I’m always looking out for fresh ways to approach familiar problems.

Three problems really bother me. One is the idea of reducing all the different types of media, and all the different ways families use media, to a simplistic formula – screen time. As if we could just measure screen time, reduce it by turning parents into screen time police, and thereby solve the problems of our digital age.

Another is the idea of seeing parents as having all the power and children as willful or ignorant or naughty and so needing to be controlled. As if families weren’t trying to be more democratic and as if parents had nothing to learn from their children. The third is the idea that families have got to work all this out on their own, as if digital innovators and the wider society weren’t in some ways part of the… show more.

I love how balanced and practical this book is, full of suggestions for parents to try out.

Yet at the same time, it’s thoroughly grounded in independent research. Crucially, it steers clear of moral panics about how tech is making everything worse and, instead, builds on tried and tested insights from evidence. This combination is because it’s written by an Oxford University professor and a parenting counsellor.

It’s also full of parents’ experiences – as I try to do in my own work, the book reminds us how incredibly diverse families are. So, there are no ‘one size fits all’ solutions – but after reading it, I felt there’s plenty I and other parents can do to support children growing up in a digital world. And that’s very encouraging!

One of the questions I am most often asked by parents and the public is – is it OK to share pictures of my children online? (Other questions, by the way, are – at what age can my child get their own mobile phone? And how much screen time is too much? See my book for my answers).

The extraordinary amount of photos of children that are shared online from before their birth and every step of the way to adulthood – is simply unprecedented. And while these photos can give a lot of pleasure to family and friends, there’s so much that can go wrong.

I find it fascinating that Stacey Steinberg approaches this topic as an attorney and she really digs into the legal issues about privacy, legal redress, and children’s rights. At the same time, she’s super practical and parents can learn a lot about how to… show more.

Shirky explained the fascination with how everyone becomes media long before TikTok was even a gleam in the eye of its founder Zhang Yiming. In this world that becomes louder, faster, and where attention is harder to come by we might think that it becomes every person for themselves. Not so. Communities become stronger and we enter the age of "We" rather than the age of "Me." A fascinating read on the power of organizations that don't rely on traditional organization hierarchies. If you want to know how good ideas spread in the 21st Century, this is a good book to read.

Tangle’s Game is a clever examination of the near future with an exploration of prejudice that is massively relevant in today’s society. The very best science fiction offers us a mirror to our own circumstances and situations. In the world of Tangle’s Game, we see the cultural behemoths of blockchain technology and social media as even more dominant forces than they are today.

Hotston uses this story to offer an informed and nuanced perspective on the world. Amanda’s descent from conformity highlights the ways in which we are measured and judged.

What I admire the most about this book is how it clearly explains the power of social media and social justice without the kind of paternalistic finger-wagging of bad actors.

Hill and Brewster focus on the impact, intention, and impressions of some of the most important activist movements of our time and how alike and different they are from the past.

This book strikes an incredible balance of admiring the days before Twitter, while respecting the current progress made now that we have such digital platforms at our fingertips.

Have you ever found that you unintentionally offended someone with an innocuous message? Or perhaps no one responds to your emails, even when you think they should.

We lose so much meaning and context when we interact online rather than in person. In a world of virtual and hybrid work, it’s not enough to write well. We must also master the non-verbal signals that accompany our words. This book is an essential guide to mastering the subtle ins and outs of writing emails, messages, texts, social media posts, and more.

Information overload threatens our ability to educate ourselves, leaves us more vulnerable as consumers and less cohesive as a society, and diminishes control of our own lives. As such David Shenk offers numerous “Laws of Data Smog," i.e: Information is now plentiful and taken for granted. I was immediately impressed by his pithy observations: Putting a computer in every classroom is like putting an electric power plant into every home; education cannot be fixed with a digital pipeline of data. Too many experts spoil the clarity, and lead to the paralysis of analysis.

The law of diminishing returns, says Shenk, applied to the growing speed and abundance of information, will produce an infoglut that will no longer add to our quality of life. Infoglut is already cultivating stress, confusion, and, yes, ignorance. I have found this to be too true!

In a glutted environment, he says, the most difficult task… show more.

This might well be the least-read book on my list, but I hope that will change soon. Lanham is a Professor of Rhetoric who argues that Andy Warhol was the best economist of attention of the twentieth century, and an exemplar for the economy of the twenty-first, in which value is created through knowledge and attention. Lanham’s inspired distinction between stuff and fluff convincingly demonstrates that the modern economy is more about the experience, style, and packaging of the stuff, rather than the other way around. And that is a good thing. In one of the many digressions in the book he presents Friedrich Hayek as the Dadaist among the economists. This book is a wild ride, with insights on every page.