Books like Fresh Water for Flowers

Ocean Vuong writes in a poetic prose that transforms memories into fragments that linger in your mind. His choice to write this book as fictionalized letters to his mother was deeply beautiful and heart-wrenching. This is a book that took me on a journey through the Vietnam War, my first queer experiences, and the journey of finding out what it means to become American.

I’m sure I’ve never laughed out loud so many times while reading a book that explores the effects of deep trauma.

What I love here is that we barely know the extent of Eleanor’s childhood trauma until the very end. What we experience instead is the increasingly interesting life of someone who doesn’t at all fit into the social world as we know it but is about as endearing in her innocence and brute honesty as they come.

The way Eleanor Oliphant sees the world made me appreciate how ridiculous so many of our social rituals can be. I rooted for her every step of the way and came away almost wishing I could wear her particular goggles when walking through my own life.

I think Adunni might be one of my favorite heroines of all time. She’s so brave, loveable, and vulnerable. This book opened my eyes to what it’s like to live in some of the most difficult conditions imaginable, but it made me so hopeful, too. Adunni’s rebel spirit propelled me through the pages.

In a way, this book made me feel ten years old again–when I was reading, it was as though nothing beyond the book existed. Every time Adunni triumphed, I wanted to stand up and cheer. Most of all, it made me feel I could do my bit to change the world. I know that there are real children facing forced marriage, like Adunni. This book made me want to raise my voice and help.

The author presents a setting so stark, so isolated, so deprived of diverse demographic and cultural experiences that the reader experiences the characters as not so much shaped by the setting but as emerging from it. Communications among the residents of the tiny fishing village off the Newfoundland coast, Witless Bay, are spare and quirky and often misunderstood. An aggressive young female character, Margaret, elbows her way through it, and a passive male artist, Fabian, drifts into actions he regrets, yet the two fulfill one another. In paragraph one, Fabian confesses to murder, but this story is about psychological survival not murder. It asks the question, how do eccentric characters, pushed together and doomed to struggle for existence in a remote, weather-beaten setting, near a turbulent ocean, survive? The role of coffee in their survival rings true as Howard Norman’s protagonist states, “I had drunk coffee since I was five… show more.

I loved this anthology of poems for its authenticity and depth of feeling.

It was written by and for widows—of all genders and ages, in all kinds of committed relationships. The anthology demonstrates that there are an infinite number of ways to grieve and survive.

I have given this book as a gift to a number of friends dealing with the loss of a spouse or partner (not necessarily right away!), and they have told me they got a lot of comfort from it.

I think the quality of the poems and how different from every other every voice and experience described is give the book as a whole enormous power. It says, "This is something we all go through, we can each find our own way to grieve, and we are not alone." 

I’ve admired Claire Bidwell Smith’s writing and work around grief for years, but only recently read Conscious Grieving, and I’m so glad I did.

Organized by Smith’s concept of “four orientations”—Entering, Engaging, Surrendering, and Transforming—this book gently walked me through ways in which we can consciously engage with our grief rather than experiencing it as something that’s happening to us.

Though my first experience with grief occurred nearly 60 years ago and the devastating loss of my son more than two decades ago, there’s no question that there are new losses ahead. Thanks to this resource, I feel far more prepared to walk through grief with intentionality and embrace a meaningful life as I do.

Smith’s summary of other grief models and list of tools make this book a must-have for me.

Devine does a wonderful job of validating our feelings and our needs as we grieve.

It is filled with many wonderful pieces of wisdom about grief. The most helpful insight she offered me was the distinction she drew between the healthy pain of grief versus the unnecessary and unhelpful suffering that so often accompanies grief.

She provides practical advice on how to be kind to ourselves as we grieve. We can’t “fix” our grief and loss, but we can be kind to ourselves on this difficult journey.

Like many beautiful memoirs on grief and loss, Campbell tells the story of the catastrophic death of his two teenage children and the ways he and his wife lived through what seems unsurvivable.

But he doesn’t stop there, instead turning what he learned in his darkest times into a guide for grievers. Upending the common wisdom that “we all grieve differently,” he asserts that there are commonalities in grief that can serve as a guide for those walking through their most difficult days.

Finding the Words is organized into chapters addressing central issues in grief, including fear, pain, and guilt, but also community, ritual, and finally, meaning and purpose.

This is the book I wish I’d had when my grief was new. I’m grateful it's in the world.

In the West, many of us shy away from discussing death. It’s an unknowable, frightening inevitability, the last taboo in our society, according to grief psychotherapist Julia Samuel.

At once rigorous and practical, Grief Works is a compassionate guide for those of us left behind, including family, friends and carers, helping us all to get through the hardest months and years, showing how to live and learn from great loss.

This book shows how layered and difficult grief can be, in the most uncomfortable and sometimes taboo ways. While flipping from page to page, you feel like you’re having a talk with your big sister, hearing her uncover things that no one else would be honest enough with you about.

Through her character Wren, this author is honest about how impossible it feels to grieve while also trying to live, as the narrator uncovers parts of her deceased friend she didn’t even know about.