21 Books Like Befriending Your Nervous System

This is the book I've re-read the most. It’s also the book I’ve gifted the most. Why? Because amongst the hundreds of personal growth books I’ve read, none laid out for me a clearer path to lasting inner peace and transcendence. 

Singer identifies the central problem of human existence: we don’t feel right on the inside, so we rearrange the outside world to feel better on the inside. That ain’t ever gonna work. Instead, Singer guides us along the path of spiritual growth towards what does work: unclenching our way to true liberation from our own thoughts and blockages.

I try to re-read a chapter of this book daily as a reminder to apply its principles. It has profoundly enriched my life. Can’t recommend it highly enough.

I love this book for many reasons.

It reads like a novel, but it’s a true story, a story of a young boy raised in a dysfunctional family—his father was an alcoholic who couldn’t hold down a job, and his mother was suicidally depressed. Poverty, eviction, his mother’s repeated attempts at suicide—this was his life until one day, at age 12, he met a kind woman who taught him to meditate.

I won’t give away the details of the story, only to say that I felt personally connected to young Jim as he awakened to greater peace of mind, hope, and possibility. And in his quest, I saw my own quest to reach for something beyond what had been to what could be.

In this book, I found insight and inspiration, reminders to pursue my own mindfulness practice, to leave the past behind and open my heart to the miracles… show more.

I found this book so compelling that I not only read it but found myself putting it into practice right away in my own life and with my patients. Jill Bolte Taylor’s story is quite remarkable in the way she describes witnessing her own massive stroke, its effect on her brain and body, and her eight-year journey of healing herself back to health and wellness.  

What was most fascinating to me was her observation and description of the four quadrants of our brains and how each one has its own personality (the rational, logical self; the reactive, self-protective, emotional self; the playful, free-spirited and present-focused self; and the spiritual, expansive whole self that experiences oneness with all things).

The book has abundant opportunities to experience the workings and "personalities" that reside in your brain and psyche and learn how to help each part work together in harmony to live your… show more.

Kelly McGonigal is nothing short of brilliant in the way that she takes neuroscience, research, and spiritual wisdom traditions and weaves them together into this audiobook/course that is powerfully experiential and hands-on.

She describes and then shows firsthand, through guided practices, how we can cultivate mindfulness and self-compassion and use this to help us change behaviors and habits. Whether one wants to improve their physical health, feel better emotionally, or start or stop a behavior to improve their well-being, this program offers a path forward.

I found the practical, experiential exercises she offers in this book immensely helpful for incorporating what she teaches into my life. This is the hallmark of a great teacher, and Kelly is just that.

This is a highly accessible book that names and explains one of the most fundamental realities of our time, i.e., that we are all traumatized by the relentless cycle of frightening news, the breathtaking rate of change, and the existential threat due to climate collapse, which predisposes us to live in a perpetual state of fight, flight, and freeze, which is very destructive to our health and well-being physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I loved their clear description of the complexity of the function of the vagus nerve, which is the best I ever read. This book provides guidance and wisdom that can help us return our nervous systems to a sense of safety and highlights the importance of human connection and interpersonal exchange in self-regulation.

I found both the insight about what ails us compelling, but also the remedy described is congruent with my own personal and professional experience about… show more.

After reading this book, I couldn’t wait to get to work. It offers a compact explanation of how nervous system dysregulation occurs and a paradigm for moving toward a healthier, more regulated state. It also offers loads of exercises and body-based practices that help us come back to ourselves when life has knocked us out of balance.

I love the flexibility—everyone gets to design their own way of using the exercises—and the clear, sensible framework, which puts many confusing experiences into context and helps to reduce my anxiety all by itself. This is a healing workbook that truly addresses body, soul, and spirit.

This is the handbook I wished I’d had when I left my religion and was shunned 25 years ago. The author is a skilled therapist who also left the Jehovah’s Witnesses. She brings a lot of empathy to her step-by-step guidance on how to cope with the tyranny of being cast out by friends and family.

I love this workbook because it is straightforward in defining childhood developmental trauma. It explains the Autonomic Nervous System and how trauma stays stuck in the body today. I use diagrams and simple worksheets to explain why my clients feel the way they do.

I like that it explains that trauma is not just working out through the brain but includes the body, most importantly. I also believe that true healing from trauma has to include somatic body-based work, which this workbook explains. 

I love how clever this book is! It seems like a simple premise, but the Sliding Doors-style structure, allowing us to follow Joanna into two different versions of the future, prompted me to think of all the similar moments of fear I’ve experienced and how they, too, could have ended in an ‘impossible decision.’

I was thrilled, angered, and gripped by both storylines individually, but it’s the way they knotted unexpectedly together that made me ask: What would I have done in this situation?

I like it because it is written almost jargon-free and it’s a lot of fun, as the title indicates. As Sapolsky explains, when we worry or experience stress, our body turns on the same physiological responses that an animal's does. However, animals stop experiencing stress when the environmental emergency passes,  while we humans can worry for long times and thus produces the same physiological responses which, if chronic, can take a toll on our bodies and, if prolonged, can make us sick.