Books like You're Not Listening — picked by fans

For anyone tempted to label good listening as “soft skills,” this book will prove you wrong! Even though the book was published in 2010, Goulston positions listening as a vital skill all the more needed in today’s fractious times.

Each chapter is structured with a high-stakes story, “Usable Insights,” and “Action Steps,” with excellent, researched info in between. From the chapter titled “Nine Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone,” I personally learned so much from this book that I could apply to my daily interactions—particularly those with my very argumentative teenage daughter!

This book is a collection of essays with an almost palpable heartbeat, which is exactly the sort of book I consider mandatory reading.

I found myself leveled by the depth and volume of insights on every page, about what it means to really see and care for one another, to withstand pain ourselves, and to witness it in the world.

I experienced so many moments of recognition, reading an articulation of a human truth I’d perhaps known or felt on a subconscious level but never formed into thought or heard expressed quite so beautifully. It’s as if Leslie Jamison lives at a different emotional frequency, paying attention to the world and distilling what’s important.

One piece of advice: don’t tackle this one intending to make notes in the margins because pretty much every sentence is worth coming back to.

I love how honest David Brooks is about his own challenges with opening up to people and really leaving them feeling seen and heard. As he reviewed many of his own inadequacies, it allowed me to review the ways in which I might be falling short of my own ideals to leave each person I meet feeling seen and heard.

Since I teach people how to do this in my own workshops, I was constantly able to add David’s insights to my own. 

This book is a celebration of experiences, told not by Hollywood, not by “the rich and famous,” but by people who might live next door to you and me. Pulled together from the massive archives of the highly esteemed StoryCorps project and edited by its Founder—Dave Isay, this book is dedicated to the power of true stories told by ordinary Americans.

I love the sheer variety offered in this collection. I did not expect this book to be a page-turner, but each story held such unpredictability and emotional range that I simply could not put it down! The book is a rich reminder that once we establish the time and space to listen deeply, people will offer stories that unfold like stunning flowers on a time-lapse video.

This author showcases her mastery of the police procedural in a standalone set against the gritty backdrop of 1974 Atlanta. The story follows rookie cop Kate Murphy as she steps into the testosterone-fueled world of the Atlanta police force.

From day one, Kate faces a barrage of challenges, navigating an environment that’s as welcoming to women as a porcupine in a balloon factory. As the department dives into the investigation of a fellow officer’s murder, Kate and her partner, Maggie Lawson, suspect they’re being sidelined from the real action. Slaughter expertly weaves a tale of tension and intrigue, highlighting the systemic hurdles and the relentless pursuit of justice in a male-dominated world.

In the fight against the War on Terror, many Americans have long forgotten the war that never stopped raging against an enemy that is better funded than many of our governmental organizations, is not bound by any laws or treaties, has a virtually unlimited supply of money, weapons, and soldiers, and is located just south of our borders. 

Patriot Games is an oldie but goody, a fictional novel that sheds light on the realistic way in which our War on Drugs encompasses Special Operations troops working hand in hand with intelligence agencies and law enforcement. I have friends who have fought directly in these drug wars, and who have told me the enemy had all of their names and personal information before they even landed south of the border for their deployments. The War on Drugs is savage and is still raging very close to home, yet we rarely hear… show more.

This is a great book about former CIA Director Richard Helms and the agency he directed. Helms was the quintessential CIA man, and Powers tells the story of his 30-year career in spying in this beautifully written book, which somehow captures both Helms’ elusiveness and his essence.

Assassin Calypso was my favourite side character throughout the series, and in Black Heart, we finally get to meet her properly.

As part of her metamorphosis, she has to learn to trust others, which is perhaps her biggest challenge of all. There’s as much romance as suspense in this book, and former CIA agent Ian Black makes a worthy hero as he teams up with Calypso to right past wrongs. 

McCarry has never had the wide acclaim that my first two picks have had, and that’s a shame.

The Tears of Autumn is set in late 1963. Kennedy has been assassinated, and Vietnam has come to a fast boil. McCarry’s protagonist, Paul Christopher, an introspective poet and burned-out spy, takes it upon himself to find out the truth behind the rumor that the Vietnamese were behind Kennedy’s killing.

It’s a novel that spans continents and provides professional insight into the motivation and temperament of the spy world. Like Le Carré, McCarry’s style is sparse, lean, and enthralling. In a world beset by conspiracy theories, disinformation, and fake news, The Tears of Autumn is superb.

At first glance, Damascus Station seems like your generic airport filler.

The opening sequence may lack purpose and direction, and the prose is fragmented. It is an acquired taste, I suppose. But there are many redeeming qualities to this novel that make it an engaging and fulfilling read.

It is the product of a real-life intelligence officer who provides incredibly detailed insight on tradecraft and the less glamorous aspects of intelligence collection. The plot tightens as the conflict takes shape, and we end up being personally invested in the fate of our CIA protagonists and their shadowy contractors. 

There is a sense of closeness to the political backdrop of the Syrian state: although released in 2021, the themes of corruption, ethnic cleansing, and power imbalances resonate well with our current socioeconomic and geopolitical climate.

A must-read for any longtime fan of intelligence thrillers.