100 Books Like She's Come Undone

Mid-life for women is many things, including greatly underrepresented in the stories around us. I am forever in awe of the women around me as they continue to rise to each crazy occasion that life presents, managing and coping with wisdom, humor, and strength. This is why I am recommending these books about kickass middle-aged women. I wrote a novel inspired by some of my own challenges in mid-life. It was published by Atria Books, Simon & Schuster. I hope you love the recommendations as much as I do and that you’ll be inspired to check out my book as well. 

My expertise and passion for these topics stem from my lived experiences. I never understood why I would be the only girl to suffer so much, but now, having written my memoir, I know it all had a purpose. Some people with similar backgrounds write to me, and I try to offer them compassion, encouragement, hope, and understanding. I advise them to write their own memoirs to shed light on different life issues and inspire meaningful conversations. I have been a platinum member of Audible since 2016 and have more than 1000 memoirs in my library—I hope this helped me to choose the best five memoirs for this list!

Coming of age in the '70s, I set out to prove that I could do anything men could do as if it were my duty as a woman. This led me to become an exploration geologist, jumping out of helicopters in grizzly bear country. But I had a nagging feeling that I was neglecting what was meaningful to me. I struggled to even know what that was. My next career as a story analyst led me deep into the world of Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung and a fascinating exploration of how people find their best life. And I’m still enthusiastically exploring.

I am fortunate to have been blessed with a positive disposition. When my toast falls on the floor I like to believe it will land butter side up. I learned at a very early age that owning one's mistakes and airing them out loud could bring on laughter or a smile of recognition that many of us suffer the same fears as we navigate this often uncharted life with our fingers crossed or hands in prayer, that we will mostly get it right. This is why I write the books I write. By nature, I am a happiness ambassador… And humor is my weapon of choice.

I have been writing and publishing memoirs since I was in my twenties and working at The New York Times, where I learned the power of sharing what it is we know after what we’ve been through. What I now know is that memoir is the single greatest portal to self-discovery. I do not know how I feel about anything until I write it down. Teaching memoir for thirty years has allowed me to witness people reoccupy themselves after they take back the power of their stories from oppressors, abusers, medical trauma, and the other deep influences of life. Getting one’s story in one’s hands is the road to change. Memoir allows for that change, both for the reader and the writer.  

I’ve loved reading novels about strong, quirky women since childhood (Nancy Drew, Ramona Quimby, Harriet the Spy, the heroines of Judy Blume novels, just for starting examples!). As I grew into writing my own stories, I also started studying women’s history. I merged these two interests to begin writing historical novels with strong women protagonists. I love the challenge of researching to figure out the details of women’s day-to-day lives–so many unrecorded stories!–and I love to advocate for the idea (fortunately not as revolutionary as it once was) that a woman can be the hero of her own story and that each woman’s story is important to tell.  

As an undergraduate, I wanted to study the now defunct PPP (Philosophy, Psychology, and Physiology) degree at Oxford, but applicants needed a maths background for the statistics element, and I was a literature major, so I studied Philosophy & Theology instead. Soon after, I fell in love with the philosophy of action, which I discovered via Alan R. White’s marvelous introduction to criminal law, The Grounds of Liability. As a philosophy professor who has since written several books about action and its explanation, I find it hugely important to read as widely as possible so as to avoid the tunnel visions of specialized philosophical theories. 

Anyone who’s attended high school knows it’s often survival of the fittest outside class and a sort of shadow-boxing inside of it. At my late-1970s prep school in the suburbs of Los Angeles, some days unfolded like a “Mad Max” meets “Dead Society” cage match. While everything changed when the school went coed in 1980, the scars would last into the next millennia for many. Mine did, and it’d thrust me on a journey not only into classic literature of the young-male archetype, but also historical figures who dared to challenge the Establishment for something bigger than themselves. I couldn’t have written my second novel, Later Days, without living what I wrote or eagerly reading the books below.

I didn’t realize for a long time that I was drawn to reading and writing quiet, character-driven stories about found families–because I didn’t know that was a thing. But here we are. As an introvert, I love learning about people and exploring their relationships with one another, and I have devoted my writing and reading life to this endeavor (even before, again, I knew this was a thing). As a child, I spent my time in libraries, falling in love with these characters. Now, as an author and professor of writing, I believe these novels are also all incredible textbooks of character creation and storytelling. 

I was born in Birmingham, Alabama, and raised in Virginia, so I am very familiar with America’s southern lands and culture. The South—also known as the Deep South—is a unique part of America’s tapestry of identities, and I love books set in this locale. Southern literature tends to focus on themes such as racial politics, one’s personal identity, and rebellion. When I wrote my book, I knew the story would have to take place in the southern states.