The best books about becoming yourself

This was the first fiction book I read after completing my Master’s degree (aka an intense diet of scientific research). I can still feel my heart opening up as I was in Lily’s heart and head, facing her abusive father in the only world she had ever known.

When she branches out and finds a place of beauty and love among three sisters who keep bees, she starts to understand the rhythms of love and I started to feel love again. I gradually picked up the clues I needed to rebuild a life with beauty.

This book took me into a world of unconditional acceptance, so wonderful I actually wept with a longing I didn’t even know I had. I hated leaving Lily behind, but I think I hold a bit of her in my heart.

Reading this, at one point, I thought, “I’ve done that,” and felt a rush of shared humanity. After a botched kidnapping, a group, including a famous opera singer, become hostages. On the first night, one of the guards reaches out to touch her arm and she lays still and lets him. She knew, as I have, that this gentle longing would keep her safe. 

I am grateful for how Patchett understands the art of being human in a deep yet familiar way. During the prolonged stalemate, the singer sings and organically seeds the compassion, creativity, and curiosity of captors and hostages alike. I enjoyed this optimism about what love can do and how the transition from a world of fear to a world driven by love can be believable.

I have a fascination with belonging, and this book explores this subject as if holding a flawed gemstone up to the light and marveling at its radiance. Hello Beautiful is centered on four sisters in a close Italian family and a man who grew up as an only child in a cold family. It gets interesting when these two families become joined by marriage. 

Belonging is reveled in, longed for, not even dared to be longed for, and squandered as we follow their lives. I admire how it tenderly shows that these are all part of the journey towards authentic belonging. This story is so beautifully written that I felt nourished by the compassion that is infused into this quest to become our best selves. 

From the first chapter, as I read Charlie’s letter to a friend, I wished I could meet the man this teenager would become. The magic of this book is that it is related entirely through journal-like letters. Charlie writes with so much authenticity, curiosity, and vulnerability that I’m glad he has three friends who hold him with love as he faces his demons and comes of age.

I found the ways he makes sense of the world fascinating, humourous, and admirable, and at other times heartbreaking. I sincerely admire Charlie’s strength as he manages to sustain vulnerability and a constant rope of connection to himself, even though it gets very thin at times. 

Can you imagine carrying around a more embarrassing book title? Despite that, I carry this nonfiction book in a ziplock bag to protect it. It speaks to me that loudly. This sleeper book from the 1970s delivers rare pearls of insight into how the world of love works. This dives into our poor behavior out of a need for love. It recounts group session dialogues that had me feeling I was there, swinging from cringe moments of self-recognition to ‘aha’ moments about an ex-boyfriend. I also appreciated how it upholds compassion for every person. 

Beyond the beacons of personal insights, I’ve recently tried my hand at writing fiction, and this book supports creating characters that are flawed yet relatable and actually likable.