Books like I Don't Want to Talk About It — picked by fans

This book is the best, hands-on guide for how to talk to children that I have ever seen. It’s kind of like a how-to-talk to children for dummies.

It’s as though the authors spent years dissecting every aspect of what makes conversations between adults and kids go well and what makes them flop and then put that down in a book. And then the authors convey this information so clearly and concretely, including through the use of cartoons and worksheets.

The book also clearly exposes (in a humorous, light-hearted way) why certain ways of talking to kids fail. This is an old book but one I wish I had discovered before I had my own kids. I now intend to give it to all of my clients and friends when they become new parents. 

Dr. Phelan strikes a home run with his 1-2-3 Magic program for disciplining children, by teaching parents how to use calm communication as opposed to that infused with frustration. The strength of his approach centers on getting toddlers to listen by using mild language and consistency, while refraining from exhibiting the strong emotions that often accompany attempts to reign in negative behavior. Phelan’s approach encourages parents to refrain from reactive communication, by replacing it with a much more effective method of redirecting little ones away from negative behavior. If you want to increase your toddler’s compliance, give 1-2-3 Magic a try. You may think counting doesn’t work, but done correctly, it can add up to amazing results!

The publisher of this workbook is Magination Press, which is associated with the American Psychological Association. As a psychologist myself, I can testify to the benefits of having an angry child go through the specific learning exercises contained in this workbook. Each chapter and exercise builds upon the previous ones so that kids can learn to manage angry feelings, hot-tempered communication, and negative responses to things they don’t like. Parents are encouraged to learn along with their child as they progress through understanding the body’s response to angry feelings, as well as how to appropriately respond to them. This is an easily understood workbook that many of my patients and parents have used with success.

For children, secrets can be a fun part of life. However, some secrets can be disturbing and even dangerous for a child to keep. Do You Have a Secret helps young children make the distinction between good secrets and bad secrets. Read together with a parent, a child can learn which secrets should not be kept inside, as well as how talking about them can actually help them feel better. This well-written book should be considered essential to a parent’s library of books that increase communication between parents and children. In today’s world, some secrets can be devasting to a child’s emotional health and well-being. Setting the stage for children to talk about them is one of the best things we can do in a world where there are simply too many secrets for children to cope with.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Regina Everette has never been a risk taker. She has always gone with the flow and done what everyone else wanted her to do. I admired the author’s work, especially how she described in great detail how this need-to-please mentality took over Regina’s life.

One day, she decided to risk it all and step out on faith, leaving her comfort zone behind. During this turning point, I couldn’t get enough of the new Regina and how she went from a people-pleaser to an independent woman, no longer depending on her husband, mother, and friends.

It was inspiring to read about a woman getting out of her own way and living out her dreams. She left her husband, stood up to her mother and friends, quit her job, and opened up her own bookstore. She even met a new man along the way. This book inspired… show more.

In this boldly candid memoir, Lyz Lenz chronicles her escape from a marriage missing mutuality and respect only to discover the same phenomenon at play in the dating market.

I felt less alone in my shock at what men say to me on dates when I read what dates said to Lenz, a beautiful, successful writer: “If you want to be with me, you’ll need to be a better cook,” and “your professional accomplishments are not as impressive as my dick.” 

But ultimately, what I liked best about the book is Lenz’s hard-won conclusion – to never again lose herself in a man.

This exquisite memoir validated for me what I already know but sometimes resist in my own writing: let it bleed onto the page. The grief, the heartache, the anger, the resolve.

I read this book nestled safely in bed and caught myself thinking: Yes! Do more of this. Throw off the damn blankets and tell the truth! That’s how we heal.

This first book gave me the necessary perspective to consider the impact of divorce on my children’s entire lifespan, not just their childhoods.

It lays the groundwork for what legacy we’re breaking, since hopefully your children are young and you’re still married. I never once thought about how divorce when my three children were small would influence the nature of their adult intimate relationships and ability to navigate marriage in their future, even though I had direct experience with it influencing mine.

This is the spell breaker of all the divorce books. It will snap you out of any trance you’re in that might be preventing you from factoring in your children’s lives. It was the first time an author spelled out to me how divorce impacted me as a child and young adult, and it explained so many reasons for my behavior in relationships, especially fear of commitment.

I… show more.

If you have children, this book is a great follow-up to the parenting section of my book Peace after Divorce. Based on his professional experience as a therapist and researcher Dr. Emery shares important steps you can take to see that your children become well-adjusted and thrive. I’m impressed with the depth of his insights and feel that parents who read this book will be better able to navigate the tricky pitfalls of parenting through and after divorce. Stories of families illustrate his points and make this book an interesting read as well as a rich resource for those who want to minimize the negative impact of divorce on their children. This is the only book on my list not from a Christian perspective but it is good for parents.

With the rise in so-called “gray divorces,” adult children of divorce find that they are just as wounded, betrayed, devastated and grief-stricken as young children. The myth that it is better to “wait to divorce till after the kids are grown” turns out to be just that, a myth. Adult children of divorce have been neglected in divorce books until recently, and this book is a resource geared toward their unique circumstances, helping them process and adjust to their parent's divorce. Divorcing parents would also benefit from reading it if they have adult children.