Books like Do You Have a Secret? — picked by fans

This book is the best, hands-on guide for how to talk to children that I have ever seen. It’s kind of like a how-to-talk to children for dummies.

It’s as though the authors spent years dissecting every aspect of what makes conversations between adults and kids go well and what makes them flop and then put that down in a book. And then the authors convey this information so clearly and concretely, including through the use of cartoons and worksheets.

The book also clearly exposes (in a humorous, light-hearted way) why certain ways of talking to kids fail. This is an old book but one I wish I had discovered before I had my own kids. I now intend to give it to all of my clients and friends when they become new parents. 

Dr. Phelan strikes a home run with his 1-2-3 Magic program for disciplining children, by teaching parents how to use calm communication as opposed to that infused with frustration. The strength of his approach centers on getting toddlers to listen by using mild language and consistency, while refraining from exhibiting the strong emotions that often accompany attempts to reign in negative behavior. Phelan’s approach encourages parents to refrain from reactive communication, by replacing it with a much more effective method of redirecting little ones away from negative behavior. If you want to increase your toddler’s compliance, give 1-2-3 Magic a try. You may think counting doesn’t work, but done correctly, it can add up to amazing results!

The publisher of this workbook is Magination Press, which is associated with the American Psychological Association. As a psychologist myself, I can testify to the benefits of having an angry child go through the specific learning exercises contained in this workbook. Each chapter and exercise builds upon the previous ones so that kids can learn to manage angry feelings, hot-tempered communication, and negative responses to things they don’t like. Parents are encouraged to learn along with their child as they progress through understanding the body’s response to angry feelings, as well as how to appropriately respond to them. This is an easily understood workbook that many of my patients and parents have used with success.

I frequently use this child’s book to help young children cope with the divorce of their parents. Too often, I’ve found, parents don’t know how to talk to their children about divorce, and even more often, children don’t know how to talk to their parents about their feelings and what they may see as the end of their family. I Don’t Want to Talk About It follows a young girl who just doesn’t want to talk about her fears and painful feelings when she discovers that her parents are divorcing. However, with the gentle help of her parents, she is ultimately able to gain the courage to talk to them about what the future holds. The children I’ve counseled about divorce have responded well to this soft and empathic book. I highly recommend it.

One word: Mr. Jitters. After her filmmaker dad is attacked and nearly killed in New York City, Lola Nox is sent to live with the grandmother she’s never met in an eerie town called Harrow Lake, the shooting location of her dad’s most iconic horror movie. But Harrow Lake is a sinister little town full of strange legends and the locals seem determined to keep it that way. With disappearances that the police shove under the rug and now a ghostly presence that has started following her everywhere, Lola is about to meet the thing that keeps this backwater little town in its firm, creepy grip. This novel reminded me of everything brilliant in The Babadook and Mr. Jitters might even give him a run for his money. 

I love any book that delves into the psychology of cults. This is a fictional account of a real-life cult that existed not far from where I live, and I have grown up hearing about the victims. The charismatic and highly disturbed female leader was an unusual twist on the standard stories we read about cults that are often led by men. 

Her determination to be the ‘mother’ of every child, have them all look the same (blond hair cut into a bob), and worship her was infuriating and intriguing. Taking vulnerable women, who were also mothers, and luring them into her secret commune, forcing them to make sacrifices, including their own children, deeply affected me as a woman and a mother.

Deliciously evil.  

I love this book because it also deals with an aspect and perspective on WWII that isn’t commonly explored, and Karen Bass is such a good writer. This novel is about Kurt, a Canadian boy who wonders what his German grandfather did during WWII while drafted into the Wehrmacht. When Kurt goes to Germany to do some research, he finds out more than he would have liked. 

This is a darker, more realistic take on former child stars.

I don’t normally enjoy non-linear timelines, but the way the story jumped back and forth, from the heyday of the TV show, where the characters played in a fictional teen pop band to present day, where they are trying to pretend they’ve moved on from the scandalous ending, was compelling.

The central mystery of what went wrong and why kept me hooked while the details of the behind-the-scenes conflicts and pressures fascinated me. As someone who grew up in LA, close to the orbit of these kind of wildly popular teen shows, I appreciated the stark look at what these productions do to their young stars and the sometimes creepy attention underage girls get.

I also appreciated that it didn’t get so dark I couldn’t finish it.

This book is eerie and unnerving, from its first few pages to the alarming revelations that ensue. I started reading this late one night and couldn’t resist the urge to stay up and finish it! Claire Fuller’s detailed prose will entice, grip, and haunt you well beyond the final scene. 

This is one of those books that’s hard to talk about without giving too much away because the magic is in the twists and turns. At a certain point in reading, I closed the book, letting out a little “oh no” because I’d just realized what was coming, and I was both dreading it happening and couldn’t turn the pages fast enough to get to that scene.

This is very much a car crash-in-slow-motion story. I hated the antagonist. I also knew I probably would have been drawn in by her charisma if I’d met her in real life–beautiful malice is the perfect term to describe her. This book was one that I felt physically, carrying it around for several days afterward as I relived moments in my head.