100 Books Like Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors

This book reveals how the body stores emotional and traumatic memories long after the mind tries to forget them.

Van der Kolk explains why symptoms like anxiety, emotional numbness, anger, or disconnection can surface years later.

Many men who “push through” or never talk about their trauma find clarity in this book’s explanation of how stress affects the brain and nervous system. It helps readers understand themselves physically and emotionally, while giving hope that healing is possible through therapy, mindfulness, and self-awareness.

We see people act out and don’t ask why. We see people use broken coping that tumbles them back into a cycle of self-damaging trauma. We don’t look at our past to inform how our personal history frames our experiences, coping, and expectations–and limits our ability to heal if we don’t self-examine and change behavior to bring about an alternative outcome.

The lies we tell ourselves to explain our choices and hide from our truth are protective mechanisms that can feed the damage. The shame projected on the victim, the learned shields to hide the original trauma, and the self-loathing attached to the secret self, no matter the outer success, are grounded in research physiology and psychology.

Until we understand the causation of our own actions, we might not be able to bring about change and could be doomed to repeat destructive patterns. It's unexpected and a fast… show more.

This book, by Danielle Delaney, PhD.  (10-10-10 Publishing, February 2017) is written by a survivor that I connected to after I went public about surviving childhood abuse.

It is a beautifully written book and offers the reader hope in the aftermath of living through horrific abuse experiences as a teenager. Delaney affirms the enormous amount of work and time it takes to recover from traumas like kidnapping and sexual assault. 

This book, by Dan Allender (Nav Press, May 2, 2018), has sold almost half a million copies. It is written specifically for people who work in the ministry and are counseling survivors of childhood abuse.

Dr. Allender offers a compassionate perspective on the psychological effects of abuse and the theological foundations for healing. Through story-telling, Dr. Allender demonstrates numerous examples of compassion as an aid to healing when counseling childhood abuse survivors, which helped me better understand my work with clients who have survived childhood sexual abuse. 

This is a follow-up to Snyder's book On Tyranny, which I read when a friend gave me the graphic novel version. That one was great, this one really blew me away. My 1-year-old mother and her family escaped from Ukraine in 1919 after a pogrom in their village killed 1600 other Jews.

In America, my grandparents, free from persecution, worked hard, and the country that took them in gave my mother and her brothers opportunities that, in turn, gave me and my children more and more opportunities. Snyder, a Yale historian, knows Eastern European history inside out. He's a close observer of how tyranny is brought down and how freedom is constructed. Freedom has never been more fragile in the U.S. and around the world as authoritarianism and autocracies rise. I wish Snyder's book could be taught to every child and every adult in America today. 

You don't have to be a cult survivor to have been abused by a traumatizing narcissist, but if you are a survivor, this book is essential and indispensable. I've recommended it countless times, not just to cult survivors for whom it is written, but to others who have broken free from abusive relationships.

When I left a cult in 1994, my shame and my feeling of isolation felt like a prison. This book put me on the road to freedom. It has everything you need to know about what to expect and how to navigate re-entry into your own life, a life that can be free from undue influence and control. 

A fictionalized version of the author's harrowing autobiography, this series of short, consecutive novels is a compelling and intensely moving story of trauma and recovery. We are shown how childhood sexual abuse and emotional neglect is a murder of the child's soul, how it can lead to addiction and self-loathing, and how recovery becomes a matter of choosing life over death.

The author gives us relentless honesty, focused prose, acute insight, and sharp, wickedly incisive wit. Slowly, steadily, Melrose heals and grows, understanding more and feeling more. I couldn't turn the pages fast enough. In some of the most beautiful writing I've ever read, St. Aubyn describes the essence of healing from trauma: the experience of deeply felt, overwhelming compassion and empathy.

Stein puts her finger on one of the most important things I learned about the power of charismatic, narcissistic abusers: with love-bombing and seduction, they create dependence in their victim. Then, the belittling and humiliating begins, and the victim is now both dependent on the abuser and constantly intimidated by the abuser.

This is the essence of disorganized attachment, which creates a sense of powerlessness and fright without solution. Victims feel unable to leave, exhaust themselves trying to assuage the narcissist, and dissociation becomes the automatic survival response. Knowing this helps victims and their therapists understand why recovering the ability to think clearly is so difficult and so crucial for victims recovering from traumatic abuse.

Shame is often more traumatizing than we realize, and there hasn't been enough exploration of its connection to prolonging the impact of initial traumatic events. In my first book, I dedicated an entire section to shame, and it was this work that significantly aided in delving deeper into its various forms and consequences.

This book's ability to distinguish between shame and guilt is particularly enlightening. While it may not be the most enjoyable read, it was undoubtedly a valuable reference for me when I needed to develop a better understanding of this crucial aspect of trauma.

Although this is a book written for practitioners rather than patients of psychotherapy, I found it extremely valuable in understanding what I was doing in therapy, how it worked, what to expect, and how to explain many of my reactions to it.

Dealing with sexual abuse in therapy is a tumultuous experience and has been described as “an intimidating challenge for clinicians.” It’s also an enormous challenge for patients. I liked reading about how the process felt for therapists and could recognize in many of the case studies, my own.