Books like This Sex Which Is Not One — picked by fans

For years, women have been imprisoned by the myth that we must rely on medications with undesired side effects to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Yet the reality is simple: Men can take the responsibility not to ejaculate inside someone who has not requested they do so.

This book helped me take control of my reproductive health by asserting boundaries for how partners treat me. It's my body, after all. 

This book is a must-read memoir for anyone, and certainly any woman, who will come in contact with our nation’s healthcare system.

The dark humor and excellent storytelling are the perfect soil to build a heartbreaking picture of the bias and misogyny that lurks in a woman’s most vulnerable moments. Sarah Ramey’s perspective on the healthcare system makes me want to weep and then do so much better.

We typically think of childbirth as a pain women must simply get through. Elizabeth Davis and Debra Pascali-Bonaro offer a wildly different perspective in this read. They show how birth can be a blissful, ecstatic experience—and why women have been robbed of this experience.

Reading this book not only made me excited about the prospect of giving birth but also helped me challenge the outdated conventional wisdom of "no pain, no gain."

Female orgasms are not the mysteries society makes them out to be. This book illuminates how they work while debunking the prevalent, insidious myth that women's bodies are poorly designed.

It taught me about the evolutionary forces shaping our sexuality, the types of orgasms we can enjoy, and the frequently underestimated expansiveness of women's sexuality. 

Taking a more holistic approach, Ordinary Women, Extraordinary Sex explores the world of women who experience sex in the most connecting, pleasurable ways. Moving beyond mechanics, it helped me understand the importance of unlocking inhibitions, being present, and discovering my own eroticism in order to experience a deep connection with my husband. God has more for us to experience if we are open to it. 

It introduced me to the status of women in ancient times when society worshipped the moon, a feminine deity. Women led religious rituals and they were regarded as the givers of life. By contrast, by the time of King David, man worshipped the Sun, a male deity, and women's status was lowered to become regarded as mere bearers of life.

Back in the 1970s, a noted American psychologist, Dr. Sam Janus, whom I had the privilege of meeting at a conference, produced an unusually brave book about the private sexual lives of politicians based upon extensive interviews with sex workers in Washington, D.C., written in collaboration with the experienced psychiatrist Dr. Barbara Bess and the journalist Carol Saltus.

At one level, the private lives of political leaders should remain completely private, but at another level, it might be worth knowing that some of the people who damage the country through poor decision-making also have a long-standing history of damaging their own bodies by paying to be tortured by those women, known back then as “call girls.” I greatly admire this book, as it has provided me with tremendous understanding of the ways in which the private sexual tendencies of many human beings, especially those who endeavour to govern nations, will… show more.

I regard myself as a big fan of Dr. David Scharff, founder of the International Psychotherapy Institute, based in Bethesda, Maryland, who has become one of the planet’s most esteemed psychoanalysts.

Scharff, along with his spouse, Dr. Jill Scharff, has pioneered the field of couple psychotherapy in the United States of America. Based on his clinical insights, he has produced a lucid, groundbreaking book about the childhood and adolescent origins of the sexual complications of adulthood, which has provided me with much wisdom about the ways in which marital sexual difficulties can be traced back to earlier experiences from the prepubertal and pubertal periods of life. Although intended predominantly for fellow mental health clinicians, Scharff’s book will appeal to a very wide readership indeed. 

Beyond Sexuality is the most consequential psychoanalytic intervention in queer theory.

Much of queer theory has used Michel Foucault’s History of Sexuality to reject or downplay psychoanalysis. Dean argues that psychoanalysis, particularly in the writings and seminars of French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan, offers a far more useful theoretical model.

Such theorists as Judith Butler misconstrue sexual desire by focusing on identity, rather than language and its effects. Desire, according to psychoanalysis, does not arise from our identifications—not even our gender identifications—but from the failures of identity. Desire is not constructed in language but manifests precisely where language breaks down.

Beyond Sexuality also offers a psychoanalytic reading of HIV/AIDS in the aftermath of the AIDS crisis.

Although we like to think that we are idiosyncratic individuals pursuing our perfect match, the truth is that evolution has hardwired into us many preferences and dislikes. This book is a really good introduction to the often surprising role evolution plays in shaping desire. Buss has undertaken a massive study of thousands of people and dozens of cultures to present a unified theory of human mating behavior. While I don't think we need to simply give in to evolution, it is an enormous help to have a sense of what role evolution plays.