Here are 100 books that The Defining Decade fans have personally recommended if you like
The Defining Decade.
Book DNA is a community of 13,000+ authors and super readers sharing their favorite books with the world.
I have been conducting psychotherapy for over 30 years, much of it with young people navigating the tricky path between dependent adolescence and independent adulthood. I’ve seen the downsides of stasis and stagnation, and the tremendous benefits of learning to stand and take the tiller of one’s own life. Many of my goals in writing, vlogging, and doing therapy involve helping young adults steer their way around the potholes in the paths they aspire to tread. More broadly, I have worked on various fronts to “give psychology away,” as instructed during my training, making psychological and life-management knowledge as open and as easily accessed as possible. I operate one of Vancouver’s largest psychotherapy services and provide training to clinicians across Canada in effective mental health interventions for mood- and anxiety-related concerns.
Adulthood seems like a necessary and possibly desirable life stage, but HOW exactly does one do it? What are the essentials? Brown steps away from cheerleading and the examination of deep psychological concepts, and instead focusses on the actual skills you need in order to be a tolerably functional, reasonably independent adult. From how to roast a chicken, to coping with upsells at the lube shop, to responding to dinner invitations, she inventories the things every grownup should (and often doesn’t) know.
From breaking up with frenemies to fixing your toilet, this way fun comprehensive handbook is the answer for aspiring grown-ups of all ages.
If you graduated from college but still feel like a student . . . if you wear a business suit to job interviews but pajamas to the grocery store . . . if you have your own apartment but no idea how to cook or clean . . . it's OK. But it doesn't have to be this way.
Just because you don't feel like an adult doesn't mean you can't act like one. And it all…
It is April 1st, 2038. Day 60 of China's blockade of the rebel island of Taiwan.
The US government has agreed to provide Taiwan with a weapons system so advanced that it can disrupt the balance of power in the region. But what pilot would be crazy enough to run…
I have always been the ‘observing individual’ and deeply interested in knowing the connection between mind and soul. This always led me to the question what are the roots of happiness and content? Since materialism has a strong, complex, and intricate impact on our lifestyle and choices, my observation led me to conclude that despite unparalleled access to wealth, people still struggle with concepts of serenity, peace, happiness, and contentment. This disconnect prompted me to explore the various socio-psychological dimensions of materialism. While writing this book my objective was to highlight subtle yet profound materialistic omnipresence on our life choices, often at the expense of genuine well-being.
Any book written with an imaginative undertone gets to be amongst my favorites. In this brilliant book, the foibles of imagination and illusions of foresight are discussed, which cause each of us to misconceive our tomorrows and misestimate our satisfactions.
What I really like is the penetrating insight and sparkling prose that the author has used. Moreover, the very interesting take on why we seem to know so little about the hearts and minds of the people we are about to become has a flavor of its own. Mature readers will definitely love it!
Bringing to life scientific research in psychology, cognitive neuroscience, philosophy, and behavioral economics, this bestselling book reveals what scientists have discovered about the uniquely human ability to imagine the future, and about our capacity to predict how much we will like it when we get there.
• Why are lovers quicker to forgive their partners for infidelity than for leaving dirty dishes in the sink?
• Why will sighted people pay more to avoid going blind than blind people will pay to regain their sight?
• Why do dining companions insist on ordering different meals instead of getting what they…
Burnout has become common enough to require regulation, which says something about how work is being structured. Much of the response continues to focus on individuals, while the environments that produce the problem remain largely unchanged. At some point, that approach reaches its limit. The focus needs to broaden and become a more explicit, shared responsibility between organisations and the people who work within them.
This one is different from the others because everyone loves a story, don’t they? Through Keiko, Sayaka Murata explores what it means to find stability within a clearly defined role while showing how quickly systems and social expectations question anything outside the norm.
There is a terrific, palpable tension: a system that rewards conformity set against an individual making deliberate choices about how to live within or alongside it. I applaud Murata’s deft hand to expose how social pressure can determine identity, labour, and belonging, making Keiko’s small acts feel both radical and painfully ordinary. The novel asks a simple, urgent question: who decides what a meaningful working life looks like?
Mia Lark is running out of options. There is only one way to change the score: the fantasy planet Revivium.
Armed with the powerful magic in the helm and the friendly AI, Hex that goes with it, Mia throws caution out the window. It’s time to find the main guildhall…
I have been conducting psychotherapy for over 30 years, much of it with young people navigating the tricky path between dependent adolescence and independent adulthood. I’ve seen the downsides of stasis and stagnation, and the tremendous benefits of learning to stand and take the tiller of one’s own life. Many of my goals in writing, vlogging, and doing therapy involve helping young adults steer their way around the potholes in the paths they aspire to tread. More broadly, I have worked on various fronts to “give psychology away,” as instructed during my training, making psychological and life-management knowledge as open and as easily accessed as possible. I operate one of Vancouver’s largest psychotherapy services and provide training to clinicians across Canada in effective mental health interventions for mood- and anxiety-related concerns.
The cultivation of independent adulthood is a tricky dance - usually at least part of the time conducted with parents. It helps to see the other side of the fence, and Koslow describes the emotional journey of parents as they gradually disengage from their role as captain of the ship of a young adult’s life. Whether they know it or not, you are almost certainly the biggest and most lasting project of their entire lives, and standing on the sidelines to watch it sink or swim ain’t easy.
A witty and insightful report from the parenting trenches by the mother of two "adultescents"
Millions of American parents sit down to dinner every night, wondering why fully grown children are joining them—or, more likely, grunting good-bye as they head out for another night of who knows what. Sally Koslow, a journalist, novelist, and mother of two "adultescents" digs deep to reveal what lies behind the current generation’s unwillingness—or inability—to take flight.
By delving into the latest research and conducting probing interviews with both frustrated parents and their frustrated offspring, Koslow uses humor, insight, and honest self-reflection to give voice…
I'm known as the Teenage Brain Woman but, frankly, any brain will do! I'm so interested in that 1.5kg lump of stuff between our ears that I've spent 25 years studying it, taking in neuroscience, psychology, and counseling. As a child, I was fascinated by how things work. I took things to pieces and (sometimes) put them back together. If you know how something works you can make it work better and mend it when it doesn’t. Human brains are just things. The more we understand our own, the better we can make it work. My life now involves sharing that understanding with anyone who’ll listen. Our brains are in our hands.
If you’ve ever heard that the “marshmallow research” shows that the ability to delay gratification aged 3 determines your life success and skills later, this book will put you right! It is far more positive, interesting and practical than that and you need to read the whole book, not just the headlines. There are techniques you can put into practice to improve your (and your family’s) habits in relation to pretty much anything. I use it to help develop healthy screen-time behaviours – for myself, too! And I refer to it regularly when giving talks and training to teachers and parents.
A child is presented with a marshmallow and given a choice: Eat this one now, or wait and enjoy two later. What will she do? And what are the implications for her behaviour later in life?
Walter Mischel's now iconic 'marshmallow test,' one of the most famous experiments in the history of psychology, proved that the ability to delay gratification is critical to living a successful and fulfilling life: self-control not only predicts higher marks in school, better social and cognitive functioning, and a greater sense of self-worth; it also helps us manage stress, pursue goals more effectively, and cope…
Burnout has become common enough to require regulation, which says something about how work is being structured. Much of the response continues to focus on individuals, while the environments that produce the problem remain largely unchanged. At some point, that approach reaches its limit. The focus needs to broaden and become a more explicit, shared responsibility between organisations and the people who work within them.
Amy Edmondson writes about something that many people feel but likely feel reticent to speak about.
Psychological safety is often spoken about in broad terms, and this book brings a level of precision that makes it practical. The ability to speak up, ask questions, and admit mistakes is not a nice extra. It is at the centre of learning and collaboration.
The absence of safety speaks volumes in silence and promotes hesitation, which leads to disengagement; each phase, accompanied by a cost. It may appear that work gets completed, but progress and innovation are lying by the wayside.
I love the reminder this book gives that the tone of a workplace influences what gets said, and what is said informs where we focus.
Conquer the most essential adaptation to the knowledge economy
The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth offers practical guidance for teams and organizations who are serious about success in the modern economy. With so much riding on innovation, creativity, and spark, it is essential to attract and retain quality talent-but what good does this talent do if no one is able to speak their mind? The traditional culture of "fitting in" and "going along" spells doom in the knowledge economy. Success requires a continuous influx of new ideas, new challenges, and critical…
Winner of the 2024 New Mexico - Arizona Book Award.
In this deeply researched novel of America's most celebrated outlaw, Mark Warren sheds light on the human side of Billy the Kid and reveals the intimate stories of the lesser-known players in his legendary life of crime. Warren's fictional composer…
Burnout has become common enough to require regulation, which says something about how work is being structured. Much of the response continues to focus on individuals, while the environments that produce the problem remain largely unchanged. At some point, that approach reaches its limit. The focus needs to broaden and become a more explicit, shared responsibility between organisations and the people who work within them.
I don't return to this book, but I'm glad it exists.
It's slightly confronting and sometimes blunt or mildly irritating, but that bluntness is its value: it cuts through the layer people hide behind. The idea is simple: care personally and challenge directly. The book shows how easily that balance slips; conversations are softened to avoid discomfort or delivered without care, and something of worth is lost.
What lingers is the clear cost of avoiding honest conversation, visible in everyday interactions where something needs to be said and isn't. It did not make me comfortable. If you can take a cold shower first thing, it will speak your language. It demands transparency, which makes it worth reading.
Featuring a new preface, afterword and Radically Candid Performance Review Bonus Chapter, the fully revised & updated edition of Radical Candor is packed with even more guidance to help you improve your relationships at work.
'Reading Radical Candor will help you build, lead, and inspire teams to do the best work of their lives.' - Sheryl Sandberg, author of Lean In.
If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all . . . right?
While this advice may work for home life, as Kim Scott has seen first hand, it is a disaster when adopted…
Burnout has become common enough to require regulation, which says something about how work is being structured. Much of the response continues to focus on individuals, while the environments that produce the problem remain largely unchanged. At some point, that approach reaches its limit. The focus needs to broaden and become a more explicit, shared responsibility between organisations and the people who work within them.
This book has the tone of someone looking around an office, raising an eyebrow, and finally saying the quiet part out loud.
It is sardonic, occasionally funny, and often grim in the way that only recognition can be. I laughed, then felt slightly implicated. Graeber focuses not merely on hard, boring, or mismatched work but on a particular misery: work that feels unnecessary, performative, or maintained for reasons no one will name without sounding rude.
The worker stories landed for me because they echo what people have thought but never said in the lunchroom. I appreciate how it breaks through a wall of politeness and paints the strange theatre of modern work, where busyness is rewarded, visibility can outrank usefulness, and whole layers exist to preserve the appearance of importance.
'Spectacular and terrifyingly true' Owen Jones 'Explosive' John McDonnell, New Statesman, Books of the Year 'Thought-provoking and funny' The Times
Be honest: if your job didn't exist, would anybody miss it? Have you ever wondered why not? Up to 40% of us secretly believe our jobs probably aren't necessary. In other words: they are bullshit jobs. This book shows why, and what we can do about it.
In the early twentieth century, people prophesied that technology would see us all working fifteen-hour weeks and driving flying cars. Instead, something curious happened. Not only have the flying cars not materialised, but…
Over the past decade, I’ve become very concerned with the direction authoritarianism is taking human society. It’s a global problem that now infects America, leaving us with a partisan divide we may not be able to bridge. My recommended books helped me understand the situation and how one might speak out against this negative force effectively. Convinced that bombarding readers with facts alone is useless, I chose to provide a novel that is interesting and captivates readers. My goal is to entice readers to press on to the end regardless of their political persuasion, in hopes that along the way some thought will be devoted to the issues raised.
Mentaligence takes conscious mind development one step further. It suggests that we are burdened with an indoctrination dictating how to behave and meet preordained goals pressed upon us by parents, teachers, religious leaders, and society in general. Its premise is that we must recognize these factors and any negative effect on our well-being; learn how to throw off their shackles; and develop a new attitude of thinking. In short, acquire what Dr. Lee calls mental agility.
Indoctrination, group-think, and social brain-washing are related terms for the negative force. While some indoctrination may be considered beneficial, few would disagree with the negative effect of Nazi group-think or that leading to mass suicides in Jamestown. They illustrate the need for objective thinking to all manifestations of indoctrination.
One of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves is rethinking what we've been taught, because thoughts become behaviors. The same mind that gets us stuck is the same one that can set us free. It's time to rip up the script society hands us, breathe deep, and reclaim a healthy definition of success that doesn't compartmentalize your mind, body and soul. We need a new organizing framework that allows more flexibility and moral grounding one that lets science, emotion and spirit to fuse. Too often, life's disorienting moments can leave us tumbling into messy, downward spirals. We lose…
Ramon Ramirez’s Dog is a collection of essays written over the years about the adventures and misadventures, mostly outside but occasionally inside the diplomatic career of a U.S. ambassador. Common threads weaving the stories together are a desire for a life well-lived, balancing career with family and friends, keeping physically…
I have always been fascinated by human behaviour since going to a school where we were told there was a right and a wrong way to do everything. That never felt right to me – human beings are much bigger than that! I studied Counselling and Therapy at Norwich City College in the 1990s and later specific courses on Transactional Analysis. Many years on, I am still learning…
This book is based on the science of Positive Psychology, not just helpful tips from someone nice.
Since 1980, lots of serious research has been done on what behaviours and mindsets really make people happy – and the results are all here, in this clear, well-presented book. I dip back into this book regularly.
The key tenet of THE HOW OF HAPPINESS is that every human being has a happiness 'set point' which, depending on how high or low it is, can determine how positive or negative they feel. This book offers a practical approach to help readers increase their set point, and find a level of happiness above that which they would normally feel, and feel more satisfaction in life.
Based on scientific research and trials, this is a groundbreaking book that offers a practical plan to enable readers to achieve a more positive outlook at home, at work and in their personal…
