100 Books Like My Secret to Keep

I was twelve years old when I first read Jane Eyre, the beginning of my love for gothic fiction. Murder mysteries are fine, but add a remote location, a decaying old house, some tormented characters, ancient family secrets, and I’m all in. Traditional Gothic, American Gothic (love this painting), Australian Gothic, Mexican Gothic (perfect title by the way), I love them all. The setting in gothic fiction is like a character in itself, and wherever I travel, I’m drawn to these locations, all food for my own writing.

When I learned that a friend, at forty, discovered the father he thought was his dad wasn’t, I was both fascinated and devastated for him. It made me wonder why families kept secrets and believed it was the best choice. I became curious about how such news affected those lied to. Over time, I found others with similar revelations, sparking personal journeys of self-discovery. These stories, shared without me asking, led to my debut novel and shaped my writing. While my own family seems secret-free, I’m drawn to writing about characters burdened with hidden truths, exploring how these secrets affect identity, trust, and relationships.

When I learned that a friend, at forty, discovered the father he thought was his dad wasn’t, I was both fascinated and devastated for him. It made me wonder why families kept secrets and believed it was the best choice. I became curious about how such news affected those lied to. Over time, I found others with similar revelations, sparking personal journeys of self-discovery. These stories, shared without me asking, led to my debut novel and shaped my writing. While my own family seems secret-free, I’m drawn to writing about characters burdened with hidden truths, exploring how these secrets affect identity, trust, and relationships.

When I learned that a friend, at forty, discovered the father he thought was his dad wasn’t, I was both fascinated and devastated for him. It made me wonder why families kept secrets and believed it was the best choice. I became curious about how such news affected those lied to. Over time, I found others with similar revelations, sparking personal journeys of self-discovery. These stories, shared without me asking, led to my debut novel and shaped my writing. While my own family seems secret-free, I’m drawn to writing about characters burdened with hidden truths, exploring how these secrets affect identity, trust, and relationships.

I knew in my early teens that I wasn’t straight, but back then, the thought of coming out was too scary. I waited until I was twenty-three to do so, and it was still scary even being ten years older! So I can relate to stories of women of all ages discovering their less-than-straight sexuality. It’s rarely easy, no matter how many years you’ve lived already. It still requires good support from the people who love you, and one thing in common in all of the books I’ve recommended is that family, or often found family, plays a crucial role in the newly-out woman feeling comfortable being themselves.

My memoir Performance Anxiety, about my adolescence, is a true story. But I realize that writing it, I created a character. He has my name and attributes, but is at least partly invented. That's inevitable because the source material, memory, is fluid. And he is nuanced by what I chose to emphasize about my past and those times. 

These five memoirs depict—and, at least partly, invent—boyhoods wildly different from mine. I've never met the writers, but I know these guys. Our challenges and fears, and hopefully triumphs, are common to queer kids. Are they shared by all kids, regardless of orientation? I'll keep reading memoirs to find out.

I’m a lover of YA fiction, and writing YA books! Growing up in small-town Eastern Canada, I had a difficult time connecting to the popular YA novels of the time. There were few that really reflected my experience, or even felt relatable. Now, as a writer, I seek to write novels that others who may feel underrepresented for any number of reasons can build a connection to. And as a reader, I’m constantly on the lookout for works that speak to me.

In my writing and in my life, I look at life and relationships in terms of what is and isn’t expected or acceptable. I’ve been fascinated by how pleasure itself has become a dirty word and how it can be exploited and used. Women have so much more potential and are so much more complex than what is given to us by media and social constructs. I write to expose the underside of identity, beliefs, and especially how past encounters color and shape our ability to experience pleasure.

I am an author, speaker, researcher, and thinking partner with a PhD in Social Psychology and specialization in the fields of human sexuality, intercultural fluency, and relationships. I have over two decades of experience working with individuals, couples, companies, and governments across 40 countries. I truly believe that we can create world peace one relationship at a time, and embrace it as my mission. My third book in English, Love By Design, is the result of two-decade-long research on the status of thriving relationships and its key ingredients. These could be applied to relationships in all spaces, from bedrooms (most intimate) to the boardrooms (most public).

I’m a queer writer who is passionate about getting good awareness of gender, sexuality, relationships and mental health out there into the world. I create comics, zines, blog posts, and self-help style books to try to reach as wide an audience as possible, bringing together the work of activists, scholars, therapists, and creators - and drawing on a diverse range of knowledge and experiences - in the hope of helping us all understand ourselves and our world better.