Books like Love and Respect — picked by fans

It should have been required reading for me in premarital counseling because it would have provided the template I lacked and failed to construct for myself before getting married. It also would have provided me with a blueprint for what it was going to take in the years ahead to remain together with my children’s father.

Because it was so profound to read in hindsight, I’m thinking of how much foresight it could give you while there’s still time to save your family. One sentence of this book could save your marriage. 

The wisdom just permeated my soul like a healing balm, weaving its way into the broken, sharp pieces and reassembling them into a mosaic, as if the truth was enough to restore the damage.

For instance, just knowing that we are to live for the other, we can’t look to our spouse for what only God can do,… show more.

I have been a big fan of John MacArthur for years. His commentary, which I recommended in another one of my lists, is the first commentary I look at when preparing sermons.

Generally, when I want to listen to a sermon on the passage I am preparing to teach, I usually try to find one of his sermons first. Not surprisingly, his marriage book found a place on my list. Just like the other books in the list, he holds a complementarian view of marriage, which is to say he believes the Bible teaches that men and women are equal, but not identical. This is God’s “Divine Design.”

The subtitle of the book helps you understand Gary Thomas’s purpose: he wants to help his readers see that marriage is not primarily for our happiness.

Although it is a gift and frequently fills us with joy, marriage is also very sanctifying, which is to say it makes us holy. Few things in life help us grow spiritually as much as marriage. When we get married we learn to be patient, gentle, and we frequently have to find ourselves being forgiving. And these are all wonderful graces.

My wife and I have been fans of Paul David Tripp for years. We have listened to many of his sermons, conference messages, and read his books on parenting.

I am currently listening to one of his books on pastoring. Years ago, our church put on a marriage conference using his conference material on What Did You Expect?. We purchased numerous copies of the book for couples in our church and still make it available.

The book approaches marriage with the foundational points that it consists of two sinful, selfish people. With that understanding there can be growth and sanctification.

Who knew that the life of a prim and proper midwestern suburban housewife could be so riveting and moving? Written by a man (!) and told in vignettes that act like facets to a many-sided gem that is this novel, Mrs. Bridge is a mind-blowingly beautiful book that centers on the invisible forces of patriarchy that restrict a woman, wife, and mother.

Although this book is many years old, it is forever timely. With humor and clear, satisfying, and exquisite writing, this is a book that I return to often since, like a glittering jewel, it is surprising at every turn.

Stacy Schiff is a master biographer. Any subject she chooses (Cleopatra, Benjamin Franklin, Antoine de St. Exupéry, the accused witches of Salem) is elevated by the passion and persistence she brings to research and writing. Her Pulitzer Prize-winning biography of Véra Nabokov, the wife of Vladimir, is another pioneering work that proves you don’t have to be at center stage to be worthy of a book. What did Véra do for Vladimir, and he for her? This is no take-down, not the kind of exposé that reveals the great man’s wife as the true genius, exploited and forgotten. It’s a love story of equals, two against (and for) the world.

Holly appears to have a perfect life, living in a beautiful house, lunching with friends, married to handsome Zach, a hospital doctor.

But gradually we discover that Holly’s life is one of fear: she is a victim of gaslighting. If Holly dares to cross Zach, the cruel, sadistic narcissist shows itself. One of the chapters that sent shivers down my spine was when Zach punishes Holly when she is at her most vulnerable – in the birthing suite.

He sabotages the delivery of their daughter, causing Holly to need a C-section, all because, earlier, Holly left some shoes on the floor and Zach tripped over them.

For much of the book we wonder if Holly will ever be free of her abusive husband, but the author creates a wonderful ending which had me clapping my hands with delight.

Probably the biggest tragedy of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s life was his wife Zelda’s descent into mental illness.

This magnificent biography chronicles their tumultuous relationship as well as Zelda’s upbringing, and how she became the perfect flapper, independent and even a little wild. While the story is drenched in sadness as we all know its ending, this book reveals the struggles of creative women to be respected and seen as individuals, not just appendages to their famous husbands.

It also illuminates Scott’s enduring love for Zelda. Even as he had an affair at the end of his life, he never abandoned his wife to public institutions, insisting she have the best care, no matter the expense, at private ones.

I loved this bold, beautiful novel because of its poetic writing and its unflinching depiction of the strain on a loving couple’s marriage due to the weight of expectations: they are unable to conceive a child while their family expects them to have one.

The rural setting is stunning, and the story is unique and unforgettable. It is both a love story and an investigation of a society that prizes other things over love. A thought-provoking read. I read the English translation. Even in translation, the book was lyrical—I can only imagine how beautiful it must be in Tamil. Again, a refreshing change from Western authors!

This is a powerful memoir.

As a reader, we follow Paul first as a doctor and then as a patient. He reminds us of our vulnerability when seeking medical care. He questions, “Why was I so authoritative in a surgeon’s coat but so meek in a patient’s gown?”

When Breath Becomes Air is a deep meditation on life and the dying process. Written in the first person, this is a courageous and emotionally charged read. Kalanithi is a courageous pilgrim who documents first-hand his own uncharted territory: death.

Confronted with his end of life, this 37-year-old neurosurgeon reflects on the fundamental universal questions that we will all ponder when facing mortality. Even though the reader is led graciously to death’s door, it remains an abrupt and emotionally devastating shock when, in fact, Paul Kalanithi’s breath simply becomes air.