100 Books Like Instant Mom

I don’t just write stories, I study them. I’ve noticed that nearly every major hero/ine’s journey and epic tale has an adoption component. From Bible stories and Greek myths (adoption worked out well for Moses, not so much for Oedipus) to Star Wars through This Is Us, we humans are obsessed with origin stories. And it’s no wonder: “Where do I come from?” and “Where do I belong?” are questions that confound and comfort us from the time we are tiny until we take our final breath. As an adoptive mother and advocate for continuing contact with birth families, I love stories about adoption, because no two are alike. They give us light and insight into how families are created and what it means to be a family—by blood, by love, and sometimes, the combination of the two.

I don’t just write stories, I study them. I’ve noticed that nearly every major hero/ine’s journey and epic tale has an adoption component. From Bible stories and Greek myths (adoption worked out well for Moses, not so much for Oedipus) to Star Wars through This Is Us, we humans are obsessed with origin stories. And it’s no wonder: “Where do I come from?” and “Where do I belong?” are questions that confound and comfort us from the time we are tiny until we take our final breath. As an adoptive mother and advocate for continuing contact with birth families, I love stories about adoption, because no two are alike. They give us light and insight into how families are created and what it means to be a family—by blood, by love, and sometimes, the combination of the two.

I don’t just write stories, I study them. I’ve noticed that nearly every major hero/ine’s journey and epic tale has an adoption component. From Bible stories and Greek myths (adoption worked out well for Moses, not so much for Oedipus) to Star Wars through This Is Us, we humans are obsessed with origin stories. And it’s no wonder: “Where do I come from?” and “Where do I belong?” are questions that confound and comfort us from the time we are tiny until we take our final breath. As an adoptive mother and advocate for continuing contact with birth families, I love stories about adoption, because no two are alike. They give us light and insight into how families are created and what it means to be a family—by blood, by love, and sometimes, the combination of the two.

I don’t just write stories, I study them. I’ve noticed that nearly every major hero/ine’s journey and epic tale has an adoption component. From Bible stories and Greek myths (adoption worked out well for Moses, not so much for Oedipus) to Star Wars through This Is Us, we humans are obsessed with origin stories. And it’s no wonder: “Where do I come from?” and “Where do I belong?” are questions that confound and comfort us from the time we are tiny until we take our final breath. As an adoptive mother and advocate for continuing contact with birth families, I love stories about adoption, because no two are alike. They give us light and insight into how families are created and what it means to be a family—by blood, by love, and sometimes, the combination of the two.

I am the child of screenwriters who lived through the Hollywood Blacklist. They were never, so far as they knew, blacklisted. There were times when they just didn’t get work. It might have been the usual inconvenience of a freelance career. It might have been something else. Maybe someone had mentioned them, maybe their names were similar to someone’s, maybe anything. Then they got work again, and didn’t ask, because you couldn’t ask.

Are You Now or Have You Ever Been? is set in that world, although its characters are fictional. The four nonfiction books listed here are my favorites of those I read during my research.

There’s something deeply alluring about the glamour of fame, even if it’s not all as shiny when you look closer. My first celebrity crush was on Jason Donovan—I’m guessing that some of my fellow British Gen Xers might relate! In my arguably more mature 30s, I developed an interest in a show slightly more critically acclaimed than the Australian soap Jason had come to prominence in, and it ended up changing my life in ways I could never have predicted. I’m a passionate person, and those passions have shaped me, which I think is why I love tales of celebrity crushes.

Growing up in Los Angeles, I was fascinated from an early age by Mexican cinema, but my interest in Dolores del Río really blossomed when I wrote the novel Frida. Del Río was part of Frida Kahlo’s entourage, but unlike her friend, del Río was elegant and refined. Highly intelligent, she was dissatisfied with the vapidity of Hollywood and longed to make a real contribution to society. At Georgetown University, I taught courses on Latin American culture, and the Mexican Revolution, which influenced painting, literature, and cinema, was central to the classwork. Thus, I was very familiar with Del Río and her historical context long before I began writing. 

I had a difficult past; from living in war, poverty, and doing various jobs to help with the family economy, to losing my life, imprisonment, and exile. I was one of millions of Iranians who were trapped in a prison called “oppression” by a dictatorial and totalitarian regime. They called us “the burnt generation.” Despite all the hardships, I immigrated to America, became a successful scientist, and achieved all my goals. Then I told myself to write my biography to inspire and motivate people all around the world and convey this universal message to them: protect your freedom, cherish your democracy, and never forget the ones left behind.

I’ve had a severe hearing loss since birth and grew up dependent on lipreading and hearing aids. I’ve witnessed profound change in technology, from the large primitive hearing aid I had as a child, to digital and assistive listening technologies and the availability of cochlear implants. I’ve painfully navigated my way through public schools, and later at jobs, with an invisible disability. Today I am grateful for connectivity to the phone, captioning for movies and Zoom which enables me to lipread! I finally found my way to a life of creativity as a painter and writer. 

Looking at this list, I think it reveals that I am fundamentally a nosy person. I love reading other people’s diaries and letters and getting the inside story of a person’s life. And I’m also fascinated by how people present themselves to the world. Giving presentations is one way to show ‘who you are,’ so perhaps it's not surprising that I now work with people to help them tell their stories, share their ideas, and be the best they can be in front of an audience. Many people say they ‘hate’ presenting, and my mission is to help them overcome that.