100 Books Like I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

Michelle made me laugh, made me cry, and made me feel the full weight of reconnecting with a mother only to lose her.

I related deeply to her sense of self unraveling after losing the person who anchored her world—I lost my own mother in my late twenties. Through her vivid memories of time spent with her mother and grandmother, and her journey of reclaiming herself through the foods of her childhood, Michelle pulled me in and carried me forward. 

Many years ago, a writer friend recommended Mrs. Caliban to me, without hinting about the plot or characters. “Just try it,” she said. “It’s so you.” She knew me well! I fell hard in love with this book that seemed like a wacky, comic, poetic collage of suburban reality, romance, and sci-fi thriller, with even a bit of horror thrown in.

The genius of Rachel Ingalls sneaks up on you until you’re totally verklempt over protagonist Dorothy’s fearless befriending of “Aquarius the Monsterman,” or, as she called him, “Larry.” A classic novella, and the perfect book for those moments you need to be mercifully transported from everyday life.

Long-standing BTS armies will remember this book from the Spring Day video when the members stayed at a hotel named “Omelas,” but as a relatively new/baby A.R.M.Y., I’d love this story even if Bangtan didn’t exist because it’s sci-fi meets dystopian future meets Biblical parable, all wrapped up into one.

It’s short enough to read while in line at the DMV or the Apple Store but the effect it has will last me a lifetime. It’s the kind of book that stays with me forever, long after I’ve put it down and moved on with my life. But the story of the Omelas I can’t forget, and keep returning to over and over again because it highlights the best/worst parts of humanity all at once. 

No BTS book listicle is complete without this bible of a biography. I loved it for the unexpected stories that broke and expanded my vision of the boys.

My favorite example: Suga revealing that he used to blend chicken breasts in a blender. I never knew meal prep could be this revelatory but it makes me appreciate this book and the blood, sweat, tears, and pulverized dinners that went into the making of the band all the more. 

This book saved my life. And no, I’m not exaggerating. I read it at the peak of my depression when I’d lost all hope and my emotional pain was at its peak. I spent the whole time going ‘Yes! That’s me, that’s happening to me! Thank god someone understands’. 

It is short, so that you can actually finish it. This is SO important when your concentration has evaporated due to depression. It’s written by a psychiatrist who understands what your brain is doing but also, crucially, tells you what to do and emphasises how serious this illness is.

This book is a beautiful, inspiring weaving tale of a psychiatrist who has recurrent depression and has worked with people with depression. She doesn’t disguise how hard depression is, she doesn’t patronise, she explains depression from her personal point of view, explores what happened in her childhood, and explains a clinician’s point of view of depression. 

It’s embedded with bucket loads of empathy, compassion, and hope. You hear about the patients she’s helped and you come out feeling humbled and grateful for her telling her story. Very useful for professionals working in psychiatry and mental health but equally useful for those of us with this terrible illness.

A writing group provides invaluable help for aspiring writers. I participated in a group for several years, which helped me hone my first two manuscripts that were then published as the start of the Billy Boyle WWII mystery series.

All Write focuses on how to organize a group and includes tips on writing and constructive critiquing. Mandel, with her background as a writer, copyeditor, writing group member, and psychotherapist, offers concrete how-to advice on how to maximize the effectiveness of a writing group for all members. This book is packed with writing tips, lessons, and group exercises that can be immediately put to work. 

(Full disclosure: the author is my wife.)

This is one of my all-time favorite books for introducing a non-dual approach to therapy. I love that each chapter is written by a different well-known spiritual teacher (Adyashanti and Peter Fenner) or an experienced therapist (e.g., Stephan Bodian, Dorothy Hunt, Lynn Marie Lumiere, and John Welwood). 

These practitioners describe the healing power of the unconditioned mind in their own way (with a diversity that I truly enjoy). They explore the question: What happens when therapists act as a “sacred mirror” for their clients' essential nature? "How might a therapist reflect back to their clients not only the contents of awareness—e.g., thoughts, feelings, and sensations—but also awareness itself? Such provocative and important questions, and how delightful to hear the responses presented in this book!

Dorothy Rowe’s books I discovered by accident in a Winchester second-hand bookshop, placed in the psychology section. A woman of considerable wisdom gained through her psychotherapy practice and her experience of the vicissitudes of life, Beyond Fear deals with something we all have to encounter, yet which so few of us properly understand and therefore disempower. Rowe explains in this life-changing book how fear manifests through various conditions, such as depression, a subject on which she is an acknowledged expert. I love it that she refused to simplify life, confronting it in all its difficult complexities. Life isn’t easy—we all discover that.

I love Yalom's books of what might, in lesser hands, be termed “case studies.” I say that because Yalom is constantly writing about his work with his patients, but they never feel like a “case study” - something plodding and formulaic and one-sided. In Yalom's hands the case studies are never mere discussions of the pathologies of his patient, but rise into a magical interplay between two equals, two human beings yearning for a way to connect and heal through authentic presence, honesty, and love. If there is “classic Yalom” it is probably these books. Creatures of a Day and Loves Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy are superb as well, and frankly, I tend to think of them all as parts of a whole, one big book of Yalom's shorter pieces in which he explores his work one-on-one with the hurting human beings who show up at his door.