Books like A Hard Place to Leave — picked by fans

I heard Marilyn Monroe in everything Holly Golightly said. I heard her witticisms. Turned out Truman Capote wrote it using Marilyn’s voice.

Holly, a hooker, her protagonist (apartment neighbor) was an in-the-closet gay man. Holly would climb the fire escape and crawl into his room and snuggle in bed with him as if they were lovers. She never denied she was a hooker – but never hid that she had standards and would expect fifty-dollar tips for washroom attendants.

This novella, as does Grapes and Old Man, demonstrates to me the stage play of life we choose to be in is in acts—we know our assets, limitations and to survive we follow them—in Grapes pickers followed a dream to orange groves—in Old Man—a fisher needed to prove he could get his luck back—and in Tiffany—if she could find playgrounds of the rich, she’d survive.

I have always considered Philip Roth to be a master stylist and, even more, a brilliant author of the way that characters think and feel. This book is also wonderful for the way its ironies unfold in a story that is riveting, disturbing, and revealing.

I am intrigued by the way that Roth can confront important social issues. Even though this was written several years ago, I find it to be particularly relevant to the debates about diversity that seem to concern us most as a society today.

Oh the joys of Saul Steinberg’s drawings! More psychologically attuned than most therapy books or self-help, Steinberg’s illustrations are brilliant illuminations of what goes on in the inner lives of human beings.

I want to play and celebrate and express and engage with nature when I look at this book, and seeing my internal angst depicted visually consoles me. As a psychotherapist, I cherish words but I also see the limitations of language. It’s liberating to see what can’t always be described.

As for the labyrinth theme, it’s universal and shockingly apt as a metaphor for what goes on in our emotional lives – we are so often seduced by labyrinths – we get drawn into situations and patterns that feel impossible to resolve and yet somehow too hard to leave.

Our inner conflicts are full of mazes we feel we can’t exit but also can’t sort out – should… show more.

Soaring and powerful, this is the story of my beloved friend and his disability. He’s also gay. He’s spent his life feeling trapped by reductive definitions along with his physical challenges.

His writing is joyous and giddy with freedom. He sees everything and feels life’s social nuances with piercing insights. Everyone should read this book not just because it’s poignant and profoundly edifying but also because it’s written so darn well. Words jump and dance and reading this feels like flying.

There’s a pace and excitement even at haunting moments and joy and beauty sit with sorrow and pain in such a real, relatable way, it’s much more about lived experience than any psychological study I’ve come across on this subject.

There’s depth and air throughout. I don’t always like the writing of people I know, and I don’t always like the people whose writing I admire. What a wonderful… show more.

Dr. Hayes is the originator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, an innovative approach to addressing human suffering based on examining and changing our relationship to our thoughts. 

This book looks at the many ways that our capacity for evaluative and judgmental thought leads to suffering. Then, it offers a map for changing how we relate to and respond to those thoughts. 

It offers tools for shifting away from struggling with our internal narratives toward taking action based on our values. 

This book is a series of short essays, each of which can be a prayer or affirmation itself. They read like perfect affirmations: “Let the Goodness of God Take Over,” “God’s Abundance Is Yours Now!” “Choose to Believe the Best,” “There Is Nothing to Fear!” Several months ago, I was feeling extremely lonely. At random, I opened to Kupferle’s essay “God’s Abundance is Yours Now!” and read, “God is the infinite source of your supply.” I kept repeating this affirmation. Two weeks later in the gym, another woman greeted me, reminding me that we’d met in the gym many months earlier. We quickly discovered much in common, as well as a wonderful mutual admiration. Since then, we’ve gotten together many times and continue to enjoy and help each other. Kuperfle works!

This book was special to me because it redefined what intention meant compared to how we usually describe it. Expressing intention as energy and creation rather than success and work shows how beautiful and all-encompassing it can be.

I could tune into my inner belief systems and see how I could manifest and affirm more positive goals for myself and invest more authentically into my relationships with others. Intention is such a powerful word, and Dyer gives practical ways of conceptualizing and applying it daily.

This book, and a couple of seminars with Byron Katie, really did change my life! I was stuck in negative thinking and couldn’t seem to get out of it. She offers a straightforward method to challenge your thoughts and turn them around to other possibilities. It‘s almost magical how your hurtful beliefs can be changed into accepting “the way it is” without the hurt.

Get this book and get some relief from whatever is bothering you. Truly.

Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas’ book helped me understand the financial and life well-being of the poor as it compares the marriage and childrearing norms among them to those of the elite.

Elite mothers raise their children as “hothouse plants” and measure their success by their children’s educational and career accomplishments. Poor mothers raise their children as “field plants,” expected to grow naturally, expecting few educational and career accomplishments.

Poor women know that marriage is fragile, and so they make their primary emotional investments in their relationships with their children. A poor mother of a four-year-old son described him as her heart. She’ll have her son even if her marriage goes sour. She’ll say to her husband, ‘You leave! This boy is mine.’”

This is an oldie but a classic in the self-help arena and a book that I’ve re-read many times. There are some real nuggets of gold in the book, including the author’s advice to live in "Day-tight compartments," and I absolutely love the 32 true-life examples that are included in the back.

It just goes to show that the simplest ideas are timeless—this book was originally published in 1948!