Will I love When I Hit You?

I was deeply struck by the honest depiction of domestic violence and manipulation in this novel, which is based on the author’s own experience of marriage. The novel builds up slowly, with facts of the marriage interspersed with the retrospective analysis of the author.

The writing is lovely—stark, poetic, and, given the subject, improbably funny. Even with the humor, this is not at all an easy novel to read, but the reward is a haunting, visceral understanding of how even a well-educated woman can turn unlikely victim. 

When I Hit You is a shattering and visceral account of a woman’s short-lived but harrowing abusive marriage, her family’s determination that she stay in that marriage, and her family’s way of understanding her ordeal once she has escaped.

Kandasamy writes with brutal detail of the husband’s total control of the narrator, who tries again and again to understand her experiences – and escape from them – through her writing. It is a powerful novel about resilience, courage, and determination, which, despite its subject matter, avoids sensationalism.