Book cover of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Book description

Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. This updated edition concludes with an extended discussion of how we can live with dissonance, learn from it, and perhaps, eventually, forgive ourselves.

Why is it so hard to say…

When you buy books, we may earn a commission that helps keep our lights on (or join the rebellion as a member).

Why read it?

4 authors picked Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) as one of their favorite books. Why do they recommend it?

Think you don't have cognitive biases? Think again. This book is a masterclass in understanding the human mind and our tendency to justify our actions. I was able to see where my self-justification could cloud my judgment and influence decisions. The book contains many examples of cognitive biases from prosecutors, doctors, the #MeToo movement, spouses/partners, politicians, law enforcement, and more. Basically....don't trust your own judgement!

Two renowned social psychologists show how people—some famous and some not—avoid taking responsibility for their blunders.

By the book''s end, we see how we avoid admitting our missteps, and aware of how much our own (and everyone's) lives would improve if we could simply say, ''I made a mistake. I'm sorry.”

A theme in the book is that “Most people, when directly confronted by evidence that they are wrong, do not change their point of view or course of action but justify it even more tenaciously.”  

In software, we have conclusive data from tens of thousands of online controlled experiments (A/B tests) that most (~80%) ideas and features proposed fail to improve the metrics they were designed to improve

The book walks us through great examples on the cognitive dissonance that occurs when our perceived expertise clashes with the sobering reality of failure—humbling. The key, of course, is to think…

If you love Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)...

Book cover of December on 5C4

December on 5C4 by Adam Strassberg,

Magical realism meets the magic of Christmas in this mix of Jewish, New Testament, and Santa stories–all reenacted in an urban psychiatric hospital!

On locked ward 5C4, Josh, a patient with many similarities to Jesus, is hospitalized concurrently with Nick, a patient with many similarities to Santa. The two argue…

We resist and “explain away” any information that makes us feel wrong, immoral, or stupid. That’s how cognitive dissonance works. It also means we overvalue information that makes us feel right, and it’s the reason things like the political divide worsen between people as they age, and worsen in our country over time. Tavris and Aronson keep their own cognitive dissonance in check in a masterful balance between both conservative and liberal examples of mental mechanics at play in real life. Though the topic-based chapters invite you to jump around, I strongly advise reading from start to finish, as not…

From Jenny's list on getting people to accept facts.

If you love Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)...

Book cover of December on 5C4

December on 5C4 by Adam Strassberg,

Magical realism meets the magic of Christmas in this mix of Jewish, New Testament, and Santa stories–all reenacted in an urban psychiatric hospital!

On locked ward 5C4, Josh, a patient with many similarities to Jesus, is hospitalized concurrently with Nick, a patient with many similarities to Santa. The two argue…

Want books like Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)?

Our community of 12,000+ authors has personally recommended 49 books like Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me).

Browse books like Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)

Book cover of The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion
Book cover of The Halo Effect... and the Eight Other Business Delusions That Deceive Managers
Book cover of The Scout Mindset: Why Some People See Things Clearly and Others Don't

Share your top 3 reads of 2025!

And get a beautiful page showing off your 3 favorite reads.

1,298

readers submitted
so far, will you?

📚 If you like Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me), you might also like...

Book cover of Portrait of an Artist as a Young Woman

Portrait of an Artist as a Young Woman by Alexis Krasilovsky,

Kate from Jules et Jim meets I Love Dick.

A young woman filmmaker’s journey of self-discovery, set against a backdrop of the sexual liberation movement of the 1970s and 1980s. In Portrait of an Artist as a Young Woman, we follow Ana Fried as she faces the ultimate…

Book cover of Dark Fae Outcast

Dark Fae Outcast by Autumn M. Birt,

Trapped in our world, the fae are dying from drugs, contaminants, and hopelessness. Kicked out of the dark fae court for tainting his body and magic, Riasg only wants one thing: to die a bit faster. It’s already the end of his world, after all.

But while scoring his last…

5 book lists we think you will like!