The best books on crazy, obsessive, forbidden love

If you’ve ever dreamed of the proverbial knight in shining armor who will protect and save you (and who hasn’t?), this epic medieval tale shows where the idea came from. Lancelot is the perfect knight who must rescue his kidnapped beloved, Queen Guinevere, and off to battle he goes. But Queen Guinevere is married to King Arthur, an inconvenient fact that isn’t a problem in this story. Being crazy in love with your majesty’s wife was not a big moral problem in the twelfth century, apparently. In fact, they ate it up.

When he finds her, he overcomes the villain and is rewarded by having hot sex all night with her, which both lovers desire. I love that Guinevere is an equally passionate lover, not an idealized pure-minded maiden.

This novel of unrequited (or is it?) mad love for a married woman was so popular that many young men of the time took to wearing the yellow waistcoat that our hero Werther sports in the novel. Werther’s sensitivity and passionate nature were the essence of Romantic-era values.

Unlike Lancelot, Werther is not a hyper-masculine, aggressive guy pursuing love; instead, he moons around talking with Lotte, his beloved, about life, love, and poetry. I must say I’d take Werther over Lancelot any day, but as with the Werthers in my life, it doesn’t turn out well.

Lotte becomes his entire world, but she is a virtuous wife to her dull husband, so she tries to friend-zone him. He isn’t having it, but she holds fast. This more than disappoints poor Werther, as you will see.

Emily Bronte wrote one novel in her short life, but what an amazing novel it is. The anti-heroes Heathcliff (rough, bitter, and rude from early mistreatment) and his childhood beloved, Catherine (spoiled and willful), are unique in fiction, and when they go head-to-head, there’s no stopping them. But Bronte doesn’t make it easy to understand them.

Heathcliff obsessively pursues Catherine after she’s married, but what she feels for him has been debated by many scholars, such as myself–some say it’s not sexual, but I disagree. The scene where they finally kiss and cling to each other while she is eight months pregnant with her husband’s child, right before her death, was extremely shocking to the Victorian public. It was so powerful that it scared me when I first read it at age 14.

A male author describing the adulterous passions of an unhappy woman, Flaubert tears into Madame Bovary as superficial and ridiculously narcissistic. Yet Flaubert was a terrific writer and also shows how empty and purposeless the restricted life of a middle-class woman was in his time–not poor enough to be preoccupied with surviving, but not rich enough to lead a glamorous life. It’s not like Emma Bovary can go to law school!

Flaubert’s dissection of Emma’s forbidden love life is brilliant. It’s downright painful to see Emma’s hopes and fantasies when the men in her life take what they want from her, and she pours all she has into them. I can relate.

Lady Chatterley is a young woman who marries into the upper class and is just as bored as Emma Bovary. But unlike Madame Bovary, she takes up with a guy who values her equally, and a lot of great sex commences, explicit enough to get the book banned as obscene until 1960 in Britain.

The twist here is that Lady Chatterley’s lover is the gamekeeper on their estate, who teaches Lady Chatterley how to value nature and love. The emphasis is not on romance so much as fabulous sex, which Lawrence pretty much equates with love.

I like that Lady Chatterley is a modern, independent woman who finds what she needs and breaks with her former life, as Emma Bovary could not. I must say I envy Lady Chatterley, as I never found my own devoted gamekeeper.