100 Books Like The Way Life Should Be

Colm Toibin is one of my favorite writers. The drama in his novels is found in quiet moments with portraits of ordinary characters that we get to know and love. Nora Webster is a 44-year-old woman living in a small town in Ireland. We meet her soon after her husband dies, as she grieves amid navigating her new life with four children and little income.  

Through Toibin’s exceptional character development, we become immersed in Nora’s journey: her realization of feeling confined by the well-meaning expectations of her neighbors; her relationship with her sons as she struggles to parent them through their grief; her growing self-reflection as she awakens to her hidden strength. We cheer her as she achieves her newfound independence.

Last but not least is Get Out of My Head, written by my friend and Pinterest’s Chief of Staff for TwentyTwo, Meredith Arthur. This book not only talks about overthinking and anxiety, it also delves into other important topics such as perfectionism, people-pleasing, and knowing and understanding oneself. The book has great content, plus it is visually beautiful—Meredith’s background at Pinterest definitely shows in the book’s amazing artwork and overall aesthetic. 

Years ago, I watched a documentary on the orphan train movement, which took place between 1854 through 1929. Coordinated by the Children’s Aid Society in New York City, amidst the cholera epidemic, an estimated 250,000 children became orphaned and subsequently homeless or abandoned.

The Children's Aid Society devised a plan to transport orphaned children by train to homes in the West to solve the orphan crisis and address the inadequate welfare institutions of the day. Many children were helped, and others became victims of families looking for cheap labor.

This book holds a special place in my heart because I had always intended to write a story about this movement. Then, one day, walking into Barnes & Noble, I saw this book on the best-sellers rack. Needless to say, I was inspired to start writing my own novels and berated myself for not having done so sooner!

For the serious student of yoga philosophy, this tiny book packs a mountain of wisdom as it establishes the inherent unity between the religious teachings of east and west. I particularly appreciated the explanation of the ‘mean-nesses of the heart’ which impede our spiritual progress. I find it is important to be aware of the obstacles that present themselves on the spiritual path so that I can prepare to overcome them and become a more compassionate and service-oriented person. For those interested in science, he also includes a great explanation of the ‘yugas’ or cycles of human existence.

I read this book (a second time) as I was approaching my 50th birthday.

It totally changed the way I viewed the “second half” of my life. While this book is geared to a Christian audience, it offers great encouragement on ways you can “go to the locker room” at halftime and strategically plan the second half so that it is the best half!

We see people act out and don’t ask why. We see people use broken coping that tumbles them back into a cycle of self-damaging trauma. We don’t look at our past to inform how our personal history frames our experiences, coping, and expectations–and limits our ability to heal if we don’t self-examine and change behavior to bring about an alternative outcome.

The lies we tell ourselves to explain our choices and hide from our truth are protective mechanisms that can feed the damage. The shame projected on the victim, the learned shields to hide the original trauma, and the self-loathing attached to the secret self, no matter the outer success, are grounded in research physiology and psychology.

Until we understand the causation of our own actions, we might not be able to bring about change and could be doomed to repeat destructive patterns. It's unexpected and a fast… show more.

There are plenty of ‘how to’ books on being a mother but this looks at how having children changes you and what you learn about yourself. What makes this book profoundly helpful is that Lisa in a Jungian Analyst and she is not afraid to look at the dark as well as the light side of mothering. In my podcast, The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall she talked about the moments where she crossed a line with her son and daughter and how owning ALL parts of you helps you learn and grow.

Rob used to write for The New York Times and I was lucky enough to interview him on my podcast Mouthwash. His book is an inspiring read that helps you notice more around you. Beyond this it’s a rallying cry for attention and how you choose to utilise it. The book isn’t meant to be a business book, but I have found that there are massive sections that should be applied to business – especially in this remote working world. Buy one for you and one for a friend. 

I love this book for the way it brings together in one place (a graveyard) a panoply of different characters from different walks of South Asian life. I find Anjum (the third gender “hijra” character who begins the narrative) most compelling. Her marginal relation to all the various mainstream cultures sets a template for how storytelling works across cultures, languages, and political perspectives.

I also love a part of the book critics found puzzling–when the novel shifts to the perspective of the former intelligence officer. It’s reminiscent of Conrad’s The Secret Agent and Under Western Eyes, Ngugi wa Thiong’o’s A Grain of Wheat, or House of Glass, the final novel in the Buru quartet of novels by Pramoedya Ananta Toer.

Like those novels, it compels a reader to undergo radical shifts in political and cultural perspectives. It’s simultaneously a political novel, a thriller, several coming-of-age novels spliced together, and… show more.

While many novels about female friendship focus on young women, The Weekend follows three women in their seventies, whose decades-long friendship has sustained them through illness, infidelity, divorce – and recently the death of their fourth close friend, Sylvie.

Drawn together over a weekend to clear out Sylvie’s house, the remaining women must grapple with their shared past and uncertain future. I loved this glimpse into the lives of older women – a reality not often portrayed in fiction – and admired Wood’s ability to make each of her three narrators flawed, relatable, and human.

If you like immersive character-driven novels, this book won’t disappoint.