Here are 100 books that Forgiving the Unforgivable fans have personally recommended if you like
Forgiving the Unforgivable.
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I grew up in an alcoholic home. To me, my father’s addiction felt like an attachment to an outside lover that threatened the stability of our family. I think this is what motivated me, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, to have a special heart to help couples salvage their marriages from the destructive, outside influence of infidelity, when they so desired. I read every book I could get my hands on about affair recovery, for my clinical knowledge as well as for clients to read. Each of the books I included in this list are among my favorites from my 33 years of experience helping couples.
As an infidelity specialist, I had read nearly every book on the subject of recovering from affairs. Impressed with her perspective, I attended a 3-day workshop intensive with Dr. Shirley Glass. I loved her approach to helping couples in the aftermath of affairs and it influenced my clinical practice. She believes in the notion of “no secrets allowed” in order to rebuild trust. Dr. Glass debunks the rationalizations about various kinds of infidelity and includes emotional infidelity as a violation of the marital bond. In my opinion, she does the best job of anyone of reducing the shame and blame of betrayed spouses and offers practical insights to the ones who stepped out of their marriages.
One of the world's leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of marital infidelity-from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent cheating and, if it happens, recover and heal from it.
You're right to be cautious when you hear these words: "I'm telling you, we're just friends."
Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for "friendships" that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red…
It is April 1st, 2038. Day 60 of China's blockade of the rebel island of Taiwan.
The US government has agreed to provide Taiwan with a weapons system so advanced that it can disrupt the balance of power in the region. But what pilot would be crazy enough to run…
I grew up in an alcoholic home. To me, my father’s addiction felt like an attachment to an outside lover that threatened the stability of our family. I think this is what motivated me, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, to have a special heart to help couples salvage their marriages from the destructive, outside influence of infidelity, when they so desired. I read every book I could get my hands on about affair recovery, for my clinical knowledge as well as for clients to read. Each of the books I included in this list are among my favorites from my 33 years of experience helping couples.
I found Gary and Mona Shriver’s true story a captivating read. They share their personal journeys of weathering and surviving Gary’s extramarital affair. Couples suffering from the impact of infidelity often feel isolated and alone. It helps to read a realistic yet successful story about a marriage similarly impacted by the trauma of infidelity. They are Christians and so this book is especially helpful for believers. I often recommend this book to both partners. I have found that faithful spouses really appreciate the book and hope their partners will grow to better understand their pain as a result of reading it.
This book was revised in 2009 and is now titled Unfaithful: Hope and Healing after Infidelity. The new version has significantly more information and addresses emotional affairs.
I grew up in an alcoholic home. To me, my father’s addiction felt like an attachment to an outside lover that threatened the stability of our family. I think this is what motivated me, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, to have a special heart to help couples salvage their marriages from the destructive, outside influence of infidelity, when they so desired. I read every book I could get my hands on about affair recovery, for my clinical knowledge as well as for clients to read. Each of the books I included in this list are among my favorites from my 33 years of experience helping couples.
Frank Pittman is a Systems-trained psychiatrist. He is very funny and down to earth. I enjoyed attending a workshop by him. This book is very pointed and challenges many of the rationalizations that unfaithful partners use to justify their affairs. One betrayer called it “the book from hell” (which was a good thing). An entertaining read. Helps the betrayed person feel validated and provides common-sense realities to help formerly straying spouses in their journey to increased integrity in their personal lives.
Why do half the people in marriages have affairs? What problems are they trying to solve?
Using actual case studies, as well as examples from music, literature, and film, Dr. Pittman identifies four basic patterns of infidelity-the accidental encounter, habitual philandering, marital arrangements, and romance-discussed how to limit the damage that affairs do, and offers practical suggestions on how to make a marriage work.
The Year Mrs. Cooper Got Out More
by
Meredith Marple,
The coastal tourist town of Great Wharf, Maine, boasts a crime rate so low you might suspect someone’s lying.
Nevertheless, jobless empty nester Mallory Cooper has become increasingly reclusive and fearful. Careful to keep the red wine handy and loath to leave the house, Mallory misses her happier self—and so…
I grew up in an alcoholic home. To me, my father’s addiction felt like an attachment to an outside lover that threatened the stability of our family. I think this is what motivated me, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, to have a special heart to help couples salvage their marriages from the destructive, outside influence of infidelity, when they so desired. I read every book I could get my hands on about affair recovery, for my clinical knowledge as well as for clients to read. Each of the books I included in this list are among my favorites from my 33 years of experience helping couples.
A terrific, candid book for both partners in a marriage rocked by an affair. They walk the reader through each phase of his infidelity and its impact on their marriage: the rationalizations, trauma, the fall-out, divorce, and eventual restoration of their marriage. Terrific insights, especially for the unfaithful. While Dr. Jay ascribes the key to their recovery as his wife’s constant love, I believe he overlooked another important factor: his wife stopping her tendency to over-accommodate, learning to set boundaries, and treating herself with more self-respect. It’s in the book but not credited as a significant factor in him wanting her again and motivating him to take a hard look at himself. Especially helpful for unfaithful men who are executives and travel a lot for work.
Jay, a psychologist with a national consulting practice; Julie, an international model, and professional entertainer. It was a fairytale courtship beyond what either ever expected; a true love affair nothing could ever take away... so they thought.
In memoir prose, Surprised by Love attracts readers into an intimate, true encounter of the harsh realities of infidelity and divorce, why and how it occurs, and leads them transparently through a pathway of decisions to change and recreate the relationship they desire.
I’m a teacher with passion for history and writing realistic fiction. I published my two books when I was a teenager, and I currently work as a 6th-grade educator teaching writing. I love teaching and working with kids; it keeps me young. When I’m not teaching writing, I love to read realistic fiction, listen to or watch documentaries or horror podcasts, and write short stories.
I absolutely love and recommend this book to anyone who loves a good mystery or twist at the end of the story. The main characters, three teenage girls, in this book are so well thought out, and every chapter shows the transition of their own thoughts and dialects. It taught me that appearances aren’t always what’s in the mirror, and how much young adults to the elderly struggle and grow throughout their lives. Overall, this book is a fantastic story and worth the read!
This emotional and evocative novel explores the lives of three young women. Madeline, Desiree, and Ariel - who narrate alternating chapters - may live in separate decades, but they struggle with issues that transcend time and place. Madeline is worn down by caring for her alcoholic mother and has been teased since childhood for being overweight. Angry, foul-mouthed Desiree will do anything to avoid her neglectful mother and the unwanted advances of her mother's boyfriend. And sensitive Ariel struggles with the pressures of taking AP classes and coping with a domineering boyfriend. As the girls' individual stories progress, the truth…
Since I began reading seriously (albeit late in life!), I’ve been seduced by the travails of underdog protagonists trying to save their own lives through transformation. If you had told me when I was a teenager—drinking too much, racing muscle cars, and scraping by with Ds and Cs in a vocational high school—that I would end up teaching writing at a university, I would’ve said you were nuts. It wasn’t until I started college in my mid-twenties that I actually read a novel for the pleasure of it. My novel and short story collection are expressions of my cheering on the young underdogs who bravely fight to change their worlds despite all odds.
In a heartfelt story of redemption, Deanna Lambert was labeled the school slut after her father caught her having car sex with a high school boy. Unforgiven and dejected in a smothering, gossip-fueled small town, Deanna faces the people she least wants to face in a moving attempt to outlive her past, with no help offered by her dysfunctional parents and a sister overwhelmed with young motherhood. I loved the gorgeous realism of this book, fueled by the deep intimacy Zarr creates with her sincere, frank-hearted, narrator.
Sara Zarr's lyrical debut novel--a National Book Award finalist--has been adapted for TV!
I was thirteen when my dad caught me with Tommy Webber in the back of Tommy's Buick. Tommy was seventeen and the supposed friend of my brother, Darren.
I'm not sure I even liked him.
In a moment, Deanna Lambert's teenage life is changed forever. Struggling to overcome the lasting repercussions and the stifling role of "school slut," Deanna longs to escape a life defined by her past. With subtle grace, complicated wisdom, and striking emotion, Story of a Girl reminds us of our human capacity for…
Don’t mess with the hothead—or he might just mess with you. Slater Ibáñez is only interested in two kinds of guys: the ones he wants to punch, and the ones he sleeps with. Things get interesting when they start to overlap. A freelance investigator, Slater trolls the dark side of…
I am a professor of psychology and psychiatry at Cambridge University. I've been conducting autism research for 40 years, and this has taken me deep into understanding how the mind works, in both autistic and neurotypical people. I've focused in particular on two aspects of the mind, empathy and systemizing, to understand how these develop, how individual differences in these arise, and how we can celebrate such neurodiversity and provide support for people who struggle with these. My research spans psychology, neuroscience, genetics, endocrinology, clinical practice, education, and vulnerability.
Maria Cantacuzino’s favourite emotion is forgiveness. I agree with her it is a powerful emotion and a good way to live. Maria founded a unique and important charity, The Forgiveness Project, which helps victims forgive the perpetrators of their crimes by understanding their back story, and gives perpetrators a chance to understand the feelings of their victim and apologise. There is a very close link between forgiveness and empathy, because when a victim forgives a perpetrator they are setting aside the immediate desire for revenge and hate, to understand the reasons why a person might have done bad things. And when a perpetrator apologises to a victim, they are no longer seeing the person as an object but can now see the person as a subject, with feelings such as pain and loss. Maria explores the limits of forgiveness and argues there are no limits, however awful the crime. Her…
What is forgiveness? Are some acts unforgivable? Can forgiveness take the place of revenge?
Powerful real-life stories from survivors and perpetrators of crime and violence reveal the true impact of forgiveness on ordinary people worldwide. Exploring forgiveness as an alternative to resentment or retaliation, the storytellers give an honest, moving account of their experiences and what part forgiveness has played in their lives. Despite extreme circumstances, their stories open the door to a society without revenge.
All royalties from the sale of this book go to The Forgiveness Project charity.
When I was growing up, I had no idea that New York State had 200 years of slavery. And when I realized that my Dutch American ancestors had been some of the most fervent enslavers, I knew I had to know more. It wasn’t until I met Eleanor Mire, a woman who is descended from the very people that my family enslaved, that my story became fuller. We realized that, through rape, we shared ancestors, which makes us “linked descendants.” Rather than turning away from the upsetting history, we became friends who knew we needed to keep learning and tell the stories of those who had been lost.
Although this book is less about slavery as it happened and more about what took place after the Civil War ended slavery in the United States, it is one of the best books I’ve ever seen that explains just how America still hasn’t recovered from its legacy.
This is one of those books where I kept underlining passages, such as one where the racist Southerner said that slavery was like an “apprenticeship” for “savage races” or how nostalgia for a romantic version of the Civil War poisoned our understanding of history. I want to read this book three more times so that I can fully absorb its wise lessons.
Winner of the Bancroft Prize Winner of the Gilder Lehrman Lincoln Prize Winner of the Merle Curti award Winner of the Frederick Douglass Prize
No historical event has left as deep an imprint on America's collective memory as the Civil War. In the war's aftermath, Americans had to embrace and cast off a traumatic past. David Blight explores the perilous path of remembering and forgetting, and reveals its tragic costs to race relations and America's national reunion.In 1865, confronted with a ravaged landscape and a torn America, the North and South began a slow and painful process of reconciliation. The…
We are two dads, both with three kids, who are on a journey of trying our best to raise our kids in the way of Jesus. Of particular interest to us both is exploring how Jesus overcomes evil. Does He beat up the bad guys like superheroes do? Does He drop bombs on them, like nations do? With all the struggles kids experience at school—and everything they hear about evil occurring around the world—we think it’s important for kids to learn how Jesus teaches us to love our enemies, even from the earliest ages.
As we dive into the difficult work of enemy love and peacemaking, we quickly discover that loving someone often begins with forgiving them. And further, once you forgive someone, this opens the door to authentic friendship.
I have some comical memories of saying “bless you” to a particular bully in school as though this were a magic trick that would completely change the situation. While it may have been a good start, I now realize that forgiveness is more about an ongoing posture of the heart than it is about using “magic words” to fix everything.
This book doesn’t just show us how Jesus forgives us (through the story of Peter’s restoration), it also gives kids a roadmap to understand the deeper realities of forgiveness.
Bible storybook that points young children to Jesus, the friend who forgives.
Do you ever talk before you think? Mess up? Let others down?
That’s what Peter did, again and again and again, and it led him to abandoning his best friend, Jesus.
Peter loved Jesus. He felt terrible when he pretended not to know him. He thought all was lost when Jesus died.
But after Jesus rose from the dead, he went and found Peter and forgave him. He explained that his death took the punishment for all of Peter’s mistakes and that his resurrection showed that the penalty…
I read every single day without fail. So I have read a lot of books over the years. I am always so impressed with- and love- a good, twisty, surprise ending. From children’s books to middle grade to adult… surprise me at the end, and I’m in! (Extra points for making me cry a little bit!) If you, too, love a good twist at the end of a story, give these books a try!
This book was absolutely stunning. Beautiful writing, beautiful settings, beautiful love. It is very unique in that it tells the love story of Linda and Thomas backward. At first, we meet them in middle age. Then, in their twenties, they live in Africa. Oh, I was so enthralled with their journey there. I feel like I saw it as a movie, so rich were the details. Then, at the end we see them as teenagers.
The ending of this book was so shocking to me that I actually cried. I have read it several more times over the years, knowing full well what the ending will bring me, and still, my heart breaks!
From the last time Linda and Thomas meet, at a charmless hotel in a distant city, to the moment, thirty-five years earlier, when a chance encounter on a rocky beach binds them fatefully together, this hypnotically compelling novel unfolds a tale of intense passion, drama, and suspense. The Last Time They Met is a singularly ambitious and accomplished work by one of today's most widely celebrated novelists.
