Will I love The Gift of Fear?

Published in 1997, DeBecker offered something no one else I was reading came close to: an explanation of warning signs that precede violence that are so subtle they leave many people with a bad feeling about a situation, for example, with a stranger, but no idea why they feel that way. The temptation then is to override the gut feeling: “What is wrong with me? It’s the middle of the day and this nice man just wants to help me carry my groceries up to my apartment.”

DeBecker himself is a fascinating figure. He grew up with a heroin-addicted mother… show more.

Reading this book a second time, I felt my anger growing from a lifetime of hearing the Church’s teaching on fear: “Ignore it.” This is at least negligence and, at worst, abuse. De Becker makes it abundantly clear that we should listen to our fear (he differentiates it from anxiety) and learn to trust the inner voice (intuition).

We are “experts” in our situation, and he skillfully showed me how to listen to myself and see the signs of danger. I realize I need to re-read the final chapter to integrate the common wisdom of knowing myself, seeing danger, and… show more.

On its face, this book has nothing to do with daughters of narcissistic mothers, but it has messages for everyone, especially women, and even more especially, daughters of narcissistic mothers who were taught to ignore our own boundaries and our own intuition. This book does the opposite: it gives us overt permission, and even encouragement, to trust our intuition which in turn will keep us safe.

Not only is it one of the best books I’ve ever read, but it’s also one of the most helpful and useful.

As the physically weaker sex, fear is a constant – even if it’s in the back of your mind. Reading this book empowered me. I felt stronger.

Instead of fearing the fear, I listened to it, and it became a superpower.

Safe to say, this book probably saved my life, without me even realizing it.

Fear is not the problem! Fear arises to help you deal with the problem! Gavin de Becker is a security expert who declares that fear doesn’t get in our way at all. In fact, fear contains the instincts and intuition that help us stay safe in the world.

Using stories from real cases and his own life, de Becker shows us how fear works to keep us safe – and how avoiding or ignoring fear is always a very bad idea. The Gift of Fear will help you connect to the essential intelligence in your fear, and it will help… show more.