My first experience with divorce happened when I was still in diapers with the highly contentious separation of my parents, who were far too young to do it any differently. Mostly because there was no guidance for how to divorce well back in the 1950s. Shame, victimization, and unresolved rage were the atmosphere I grew up in. I’d like to say they eventually worked it out, yet it wasn’t until 60 years later that they could be in the same room and be civil. When my husband (now affectionately called my wasband) and I divorced, I’m beyond grateful that we decided it doesn’t have to be that way.
This classic has been around for decades for good reason. I found it when I suffered my first heartbreak at the age of 18, when my boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up. I felt adrift, alone, devastated, and lost. I was so overcome with grief that no one–not even my best friend-could reach me. Yet this book did.
I felt mirrored in my sorrow and comforted by the format, which offered bits of truth and wisdom in bite-sized pieces. I believed the authors that this too would pass, and felt a ray of hope in the dark. If you are in the early stage of heartbreak, this book can be a lifesaver.
One of the most directly helpful books on the subject of loss ever written, the first edition of this comforting and inspiring book, published in 1976, sold nearly two million copies. This completely revised and expanded edition encompasses not only the medical and psychological advances in the treatment of loss, but also the authors' own experiences.
I love authors who think for themselves. People who look at the state of the world, question the status quo, and wonder how to make things just a little bit better. Constance Ahrons was one of these women, and for this reason, she’s a hero of mine.
While conscious divorce is finally coming into vogue, she was the one who pioneered the idea back in the early 90s. The research she did on the impact a bad divorce had on kids was unprecedented and radical for that time.
As someone who divorced my daughter’s father when she was still young, I found that this book provided a practical roadmap on how to do this well that is still highly relevant today.
Based on two decades of groundbreaking research, The Good Divorce presents the surprising finding that in more than fifty percent of divorces couples end their marriages, yet preserve their families. Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children.
The Good Divorce makes an important contribution to the ongoing "family values" debate by dispelling the myth that…
Many people from all walks of life, even after many accomplishments and experiences, are often plagued by dissatisfaction, pervasive longing, and deep questioning. These feelings may make them wonder if they are living the life they were meant to lead.
Living on Purpose is the guidebook these people have been…
Who doesn’t love the brilliant and creative Elizabeth Gilbert?
While this book is not one of her most popular, as a closeted cultural anthropologist, I found it fascinating. I loved learning all about the history of marriage, largely because it helped me to question certain assumptions we have about marriage. Assumptions that I think get a lot of us into trouble! I enjoyed how much Elizabeth shared about her own marriage and its uncoupling as well.
Elizabeth is a truth teller, and her searing honesty helped me be more honest with myself as I was processing the loss of my own marriage.
'Like Eat, Pray, Love, her follow-up ... feels irresistibly confessional ... I found myself guzzling Committed, reading it in mighty chunks, far into the night. Whenever I put it down, it was pinched by my mother or sister' - Sunday Times
'An unblinkered consideration of what marriage really means' - Woman & Home
'Gilbert delves deep into the history and cultural meanings of marriage, as well as into her own relationship' - Financial Times
'Insightful ... She speaks for many who question the bliss in conjugal bonds, or, at least, those who want to understand how the tradition still…
I just like Susan Elliot. She’s decent, smart, and deeply devoted to mental health. Particularly at a time when one is vulnerable to a lack of the latter!
I found Susan’s advice to be sound and helpful. When I was at my worst, the thoughts in my head would easily loop in self-destructive ways. By focusing on the questions Susan provides, I was able to stay the course to grow myself beyond the version of me that made the mistakes I’d made. Rather than getting stuck in PTSD, Susan’s book helped me to turn it all into post-traumatic growth.
A proven plan for overcoming the painful end of any romantic relationship, including divorce, with practical strategies for healing, getting your confidence back, and finding true love
It's over--and it really hurts. But as unbelievable as it may seem when you are in the throes of heartache, you can move past your breakup. Forget about trying to win your ex back. Forget about losing yourself and trying to make this person love you. Starting today, this breakup is the best time to change your life for the better, inside and out. Through her workshops and popular blog, Susan Elliott has…
Gifts from a Challenging Childhood
by
Jan Bergstrom,
Learn to understand and work with your childhood wounds. Do you feel like old wounds or trauma from your childhood keep showing up today? Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed with what to do about it and where to start? If so, this book will help you travel down a path…
Who doesn’t need wisdom when life is crashing and burning all around you?
There are so many multiple losses in a breakup that I, for one, needed a soft place to land when I was going through it. Pema Chodron’s book is such a place. When I was in the thick of it, I’d open it up to any page, and it was always just what I needed to hear to refocus me on the goodness of life and restore a sense of hope for a better future.
Pema Choedroen reveals the vast potential for happiness, wisdom and courage even in the most painful circumstances.
Pema Choedroen teaches that there is a fundamental opportunity for happiness right within our reach, yet we usually miss it - ironically, while we are caught up in attempt to escape pain and suffering.
This accessible guide to compassionate living shows us how we can use painful emotions to cultivate wisdom, compassion and courage, ways of communication that lead to openness and true intimacy with others, practices for reversing our negative habitual patterns, methods for working with chaotic situations and ways to cultivate…
We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement–we've found the "one," so we plan and forge our futures together. But sometimes, for many different reasons, they don't work out. Commonly, we view this as a personal failure rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we once meant to each other, we hoard bitterness and anger, stewing in shame and resentment.
Yet there is another path to the end of a relationship–one filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring. Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of Calling in "The One" and creator of the groundbreaking method Conscious Uncoupling, provides the valuable skills and tools to travel this challenging terrain with five thoughtful and thought-provoking steps.
